As we watched Reiuji practice, several notions flitted through my brain. I don't think I was very eloquent with my choice of words. "You know, you've done more for me than I thought it possible. I know we've just met, but I have to do something nice to pay you back.."
"You do not need to repay me for anything," Patchy replied, "I am here of my free will and I have acted the way I have because I wished to. If anything, I should be thankful for you for obliging me with my experiment.."
"It was a really good experiment. You manipulated her into helping us in a way I don't think I ever could have.."
"I simply took stock of her character and tried a solution which I thought would yield results. If I had failed I may have complicated things for you instead."
"But you didn't," I told her, "that's why I want to treat you to dinner sometime. Or lunch. As a thank you, of course.."
"And here I thought lovers did such things regularly. Implicitly part of the social contract," she observed wryly. We were still holding hands. Even though Kaenbyou wasn't looking anymore. For all intents and purposes, to the world, she looked the part of the loving girlfriend.
"You're one strange girl," I chuckled, "but I think I kind of like that. Not many people would have gone along with my plans just like that. Maybe the implied nature of our accord is affecting me too. I feel like I have to say that I would like to return the favor as well any time. If you ever need a boyfriend for whatever reason, look me up. I'm not picky about the terms either. I hope you find I'm an interesting person too."
"Interesting enough to come along like this, yes. I must also admit that I find your confidence... well, alluring. It reminds me of a few things that I've read.."
"..."I found that my face was getting a little hot. I tried not to look at her directly, lest I lose all control and look like an affected fool. Worse, yet, I saw her from the corner of my eyes. I wasn't alone in my reaction. It seemed like the quiet yet insightful girl was finding it difficult to justify looking straight at me. A bit of color brightened her otherwise pale cheeks.
Practice was soon over. Kaenbyou scrambled out of the gym. Likely that she couldn't stand us anymore. I faced Patchy again with a sense of purpose. It let me play off the rest of my thoughts and feelings. "Let's go," I told her, "I think the moment of truth has arrived.."
Kaenbyou was waiting for us behind the gym. There was an path that was overgrown with plant life which led to what was probably an old custodian's shack. It wasn't a place where most students ever set foot in. It was a place where some of the trouble students came to smoke and cut class. Naturally, cigarette butts and food wrappers littered the ground. I was familiar with the location, comfortable with it either. Patchy walked gingerly, mindful of the missing pavement and properly navigating the mud puddles. It likely irked Kaenbyou that she followed me closely. It must have looked like she was being antagonistically clingy.
"Alright, we're here," I spoke to her, noticing that she must have stepped into one of the puddles. Her left shoe was completely muddied and her sock was tarnished up to her ankle.
"I can see that," she said, sounding annoyed.
"Well?"
"Stop pressuring me already," Kaenbyou complained. "I'm only talking because you've left me no choice. I do this under duress and protest at it.."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," I rolled my eyes, "let's get on with it.."
Patchy just eyed the exchange silently, evidently deciding that it wasn't worth jumping in at the moment. She stood beside me, on a dry piece of of tile, and waited patiently.
"Fine..."Kaenbyou relented. "Me and Okuu have been friends since elementary school. I don't know if you know what it's like to have a friend who has always been there for as long as you remember. It's really special. I'd gladly do anything for her and she'd gladly do anything for me. That's why I don't want to be direct with her. It's not fair to use the influence I have over her in every scenario. Especially when she's being earnest and really wants to do something out of the bottom of her heart. I don't know if you understand," she sighed, "but it's a big deal to me.
"We've been through a lot together. Same schools, same class and same interests. Summer breaks spent in the same places. It'd be strange if I spent more than a day apart from her, I think. It'd be like a part of me was missing. A part of me that was good and wonderful. I'm certain that she feels the same way about me." Kaenbyou's expression clouded. There was an uneasy pause as she seemed to get lost in her own thoughts. I caught myself thinking that what she had was something that I couldn't ever really understand. My relationships, even my childhood friends, were different. They may not have been as intense and reciprocal. For the most part. I could understand her statements on an intellectual level but anything else would be a leap. "Whenever our parents were being harsh," she continued," we'd lean on each other. Same with bad results at school. Cheering each other up and helping each other get around groundings and whatever.."
"It sounds like she has a very well developed sense of empathy," Patchouli cut in. "She's a sensitive girl, isn't she?"
"Yeah, she definitely is," Kaenbyou didn't seem to mind Patchy's observation, nodding in agreement. Guess she was getting into the groove of things. "But sensitivity can be a bad thing as well. If you're overly sensitive to the world. I suppose I've always tried to keep an eye out for her because I know that life isn't fair to people like her. I don't want to see her get hurt. There was a time where she was much more open with people."
"What happened?" Patchy inquired. "I take it that things have been this way for a while now.."
"Heh, I really shouldn't be telling you this," she smiled sardonically. There was a world-weary sigh that went along with it. She knew that there was no more point in trying to forget about it. The issue was front and center. "Something happened almost nearly two years ago. When we were at another school. We were in the same class, as usual. It was your typical experience. Being nice to classmates, only being close to a few people. You know, normalcy itself. Like I said she's a sensitive and kind girl, she made plenty of friends. She was always smiling back then.
"I still don't really know why it happened. One day I'm away in practice and I see that Okuu isn't waiting for me outside like she usually did. So, naturally, I start looking for her. It didn't take long to find her. She was still at her desk. No one else was in the classroom. She was crying her heart out. Like, inconsolable sobs. It still makes me sad to think of her like that." Kaenbyou paused, leaning back onto the wall. She sighed again before continuing, "I never did get her to admit what had happened directly. But I knew soon enough. People are cruel and say wicked things because they're jealous. Okuu was such a sweet girl, always ready with a smile. Some of our classmates started a vicious rumor. Just because Okuu looked more grown up than them, they couldn't stand it. The rumor began spreading, reaching other classes and eventually the whole school. People stopped talking to her, started whispering behind her back. Boys would make crude jokes and some of the more brazen ones made it a point to proposition her while saying the most disgusting things. The school staff didn't understand, they instead started calling her out for guidance sessions, which only isolated her even more. In the end, by the time we graduated, I was the only one that would still talk to her and still treated her the same.."
"She doesn't trust anyone anymore," Patchy stated. "The experience couldn't have been easy for her.."
"I'm her only friend in the world," Kaenbyou said, her eyes focusing on something far away. "She hates being in the spotlight because she remembers those miserable months where she was ostracized and treated like garbage.."
"The question then becomes, why is she doing something so very public?" Patchy asked a natural followup.
"Rhythmic gymnastics?" Kaenbyou shook her head. "That's simple. I hurt myself and she wants to help me out like I've helped her out. If I can't compete, she'll compete for me. That's what I think it is.."
"Even though she knows she'll be in the spotlight again?"
"Even though... she knows. She's stubborn and there's nothing I can say to get her to quit. I can't protect her anymore. It's horrible to see someone who you love get hurt right before your eyes.."
"It makes sense now why you asked me to get her to quit," I said. "You really were just looking out for your friend.."
"Well, now you know the truth. Most of it, anyhow. There rest are pointless details," Kaenbyou said with a heavy sigh. Though she no longer had to hide the reason why her friend was having such a hard time nor why she was so invested, it didn't look like a weight had been lifted off of her shoulders. On the contrary. Instead of looking relieved, she seemed more downtrodden and mired in despair. The quiet, solitary kind of despair, where the bitterness of reality is almost too overwhelming. She was too distraught to cry.
"We're going to help," Patchy assured her. "I can't promise that the resolution will be fast but it will come for certain. You're not alone anymore. Neither is your friend. If you need a moment to let that sink in, I understand. We need to move on and act decisively if we're going to fix the problem.."
[] Give Kaenbyou a hug
[] Give her some space to process things
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>>50980 It's a s
ecret