I usually went out to clear my head. Staying home and not doing anything important made me dwell and ruminate on my thoughts, which wasn't always a good thing.
The school year was virtually over. This last week was more of a formality than anything else. We weren't going to learn anything important in class, just the scraps of the curriculum that we had skipped over in a rush to get ready for exams. Seniors would be graduating halfway through the week too and that trimmed the actual learning time even further. So really there were only just a few more days until our brief spring break and then we would become the new senior year.
There wasn't much that was good about being a senior. Different-colored ribbon on the girl's uniform was hardly a reward for having to deal with the constant pressure of study. It was the last year to excel academically and in club activities. It was also the last year that we'd take a class trip. So yeah, a lot of pressure to do your best at everything. Not that I normally worried much about that sort of thing. Except that lately…
Big Sis was annoying. I sighed and rolled over in my bed, staring up at the ceiling. I eventually got up and tried to keep busy by playing games and reading comics. At the back of my mind, however, I couldn't shake the unpleasant thoughts that had been haunting me all afternoon.
It turned out that I was all alone for dinner. Auntie called and said she'd be late since she was waiting on a supplier and Marisa was presumably still out with her friends. Cup noodles were good enough for me. I watched TV while eating, still trying to ignore the stupid thoughts at the back of my mind.
Marisa returned with Auntie. They had met up along the way and walked home together. After taking a bath I'd gone back and forth between my computer and comics and eventually opted to read a magazine on my bed.
“Hey, what's up?” I asked.
“Mmm, not much,” she said, smiling softly. It looked like she had just jumped out of the bath; her hair looked slightly damp and her pajamas clung a little onto her moist skin. “Tell you the truth, I was just checking in on you.”
“Eh, why?”
“Well, it's stupid,” she said, laughing a little, “but I was still kind of worried about that fall you took earlier. I know the nurse said you were fine but I guess I couldn't just forget it that easily.”
“Thanks but I'm fine as you can see. A little bored, but fine.”
“Would you mind if I kept you a little company then?” she asked. “I'm a little bored myself.”
“Yeah, sure, no problem.” It was the first time Marisa had asked to come into my room. She respected my boundaries much more than certain other people I knew. Even though neither of us made a big deal out of living under the same roof, there was still distance between the two of us. Neither side wanted to impose on the other, if I had to sum it up.
“Hey Arc,” she spoke up after a few minutes of leafing through a comic I had left on the floor.
“Yeah?”
“Are you and Alice fighting?”
“No, I don't think so,” I said. “It might seem that way, but we have a relationship that goes way back. I don't think it's serious.” Especially not if she was still capable of teasing me like she did earlier. Normally she'd only do it in private and her mom would have to intervene, telling her to be more polite. I wondered about what was different when compared to all those other times.
“Mmm, it kind of makes me feel jealous that you two get along so well,” she said.
I laughed. “I'm not sure most people would consider our interactions today as 'getting along well'.”
“It's more than what you say to each other you know,” Marisa observed, “you're familiar enough with each other to know how serious things are without thinking about it. It takes a special kind of connection, I think.”
“Would it help if I was a jerk to you and we got into a fight? In order to simulate the experience.”
“No, I don't think it's the kind of thing that can be forced,” she said. Even though I was sure she knew I was joking, I couldn't help but think that maybe there was a part of her that would be happy about something stupid like that. She changed topics, “I saw that you did well in your exams. I had no idea you were so good at studying.”
“Neither did I,” I said bitterly, trying to hold back a sigh.
“Maybe I'll ask you to help me out next time. I tried my best, stayed up reading my notes but I still only managed to score somewhere in the middle.”
“...it's not entirely your fault,' I told her. We both understood what I meant. She'd missed too many classes on top of being a transfer student. “Being in the middle isn't too bad and you should be proud.”
“All the same, I'll work really hard so we can be at the top together. After all, I don't think you'd want to be with someone dumber than you.”
“I don't really care about that sort of thing. It's just a stupid, arbitrary way of ranking people. Don't worry, I won't like you more or less if your grades are higher. People are stupid for caring about that,” I said with a nod, not sure just how comforting my words would be.
Marisa's hair drooped onto her shoulders as she shrugged, seeming not that convinced by my words. Funny how the lack of braid made her look older. She hadn't done it up after getting out of the bath. Yeah, she'd be a senior soon too. It wasn't weird that she'd look the part too.
She looked up into my face, scanning. Did I really look that bad? I got the distinct feeling that she was worried about something she kept seeing in my expression. Maybe my innermost thoughts were leaking through somehow.
[] Joke that all that staring was making me feel embarrassed.
[] Thank her properly for caring and give her a hug.
[] Deflect and change the topic to how she feels about becoming a third year student.
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>>60731 Your sunny disposition and endless optimism never fail to invigorate, wiseman.
