[x] Go pick up the rest of the gifts and some poison, make a mental note to get them before the teachers meet, or remind self that you have done one of those things.
[x] Then return to SDM.
[x] Poison the one wine bottle, mark its cork. Open and reseal the other bottle the same way.
[x] Work on the replacement of golem parts such as claws, swords, and fangs with metal counterparts that can electrify.
-[x] Or, if the golems are already metal, the electrification of said parts.

I'm assuming the duel is at some point when the students have arrived, right?

[x] Return to the mansion. Poison a wine bottle with something from Gensokyo, but not something that will kill or incapacitate him too badly with one or two sips.
[x] Request Sakuya's aid regarding the food gifts.

Stop the golem stuff, geez.

[x] Go pick up the rest of the gifts and some poison if you don't have anything harmless and that won't raise his suspicions by being incredibly rare or something he's never seen, make a mental note to get them before the teachers meet, or remind self that you have done one of those things.
[x] Then return to SDM.
[x] Poison the one wine bottle, mark its cork. Open and reseal the other bottle the same way.
[x] Work on the replacement of golem parts such as claws, swords, and fangs with metal counterparts that can electrify.
-[x] Or, if the golems are already metal, the electrification of said parts.

Eh, I don't really care. Besides, it could quite possibly save our life. Perhaps not likely, but as long as we have free time, can't hurt.

[x] Return to the mansion. Poison a wine bottle with something from Gensokyo, but not something that will kill or incapacitate him too badly with one or two sips.
[x] Request Sakuya's aid regarding the food gifts.

Returning to hogwatrs wa the last part of the vote; if she had to pick a gift now, she already did so, there was no need or it shouldn't be picked right now.

>>51962
Getting the rest of the gifts was never mentioned, just the wine. And if we did, there's the thing to remind yourself.

[x] Go pick up the rest of the gifts and some poison if you don't have anything harmless and that won't raise his suspicions by being incredibly rare or something he's never seen, make a mental note to get them before the teachers meet, or remind self that you have done one of those things.
-[x] Get Sakuya's help with appropriate items if possible.
[x] Then return to SDM.
[x] Poison the one wine bottle, mark its cork. Open and reseal the other bottle the same way.
[x] Work on the replacement of golem parts such as claws, swords, and fangs with metal counterparts that can electrify.
-[x] Or, if the golems are already metal, the electrification of said parts.

[x] Go pick up the rest of the gifts and some poison if you don't have anything harmless and that won't raise his suspicions by being incredibly rare or something he's never seen, make a mental note to get them before the teachers meet, or remind self that you have done one of those things.
-[x] Get Sakuya's help with appropriate items if possible.
[x] Then return to SDM.
[x] Poison the one wine bottle, mark its cork. Open and reseal the other bottle the same way.
[x] Work on the replacement of golem parts such as claws, swords, and fangs with metal counterparts that can electrify.
-[x] Or, if the golems are already metal, the electrification of said parts.

[x] Challenge Albus.

I suspect Patchy will lose this spectacularly. Which is good, actually winning against Dumbledore would be problematic for a number of reasons. But I doubt it'll win anyway, the vote isn't long enough.

>>51976
I would like to hear your reasoning for your conclusion because I'm inclined to believe the opposite and I cannot see Patchouli throwing the match because of her pride as a magician.

>>51977
Who said anything about throwing the match? She'll try her best and fail. This isn't a farfetched conclusion, even she's having doubts about fighting him at Hogwarts.

>>51978
Really? While I'd consider HP spellcasters to be quite tricky and dangerous if they're smart enough to take advantage of the really unusual tricks in their repertoire, I can't see even the high-end ones matching either the power or the skill being thrown around in high-end danmaku battles where the participants are playing rather than actively trying to kill each other.

Learn to read between the lines. There was complaining about how Patchy could beat up all the wizards, and now there's mentions of wizard battle prowess and somebody going "Hey, fight a duel."

At the very least, it's going to be tough.

>>51980
They don't have to. It's a fallacy that exists for all works, thinking that power-levels settles all. The truth of the matter is, the first strike that hits means you win. Patchy is a glass cannon, and danmaku is explicitly non-lethal, and not-as-damaging. Since she's in the outside world she can cut loose, but if she's hit during an incantation or a "power up" moment, she can still lose. Especially if the spell is something simple and intended to be non lethal, like a Laughing hex or something else, that quite frankly could set off her symptoms. While her body might be able to survive being ran over by the Yukari Express (be it magic or innate structural integrity), Patchy can't fight curled up into a ball coughing blood from laughing too hard, or another similar instance.
Patchy, as stated in EoSD, is so asthmatic that she often cannot complete incantations.

That being said, I still believe that Patchy would win against Dumbledore. I just think that she shouldn't, or rather, should try avoid challenging him in the first place. He is her employer after all.

>>51977
The pride of a magician is not in petty battles to match power. Patchy's pride has always been in her knowledge. Though it may not refer to Patchy herself, canonically Alice, also a mage, holds back so much that she can be defeated easily due to the fact that she wants her fights to be elegant and artistic.

While I'm not saying Alice is anything like Patchy, they are both similar in which they do not hold Winning as the end-all-be-all. Alice hold Art and her Dollmaking higher, while Patchy holds her extensive Knowledge and her Library that way. Patchy is so centered upon her books, that in IaMP it is stated in her profile that she lives in the darkened library despite it being bad for her health because it is better for her books.

A duel is less about winning than about Patchy displaying her command of magic, and even then, she might limit herself with her "hobby": "Dividing the magic she uses according to the days of the week is a secret hobby of hers, but no one has realized this." or as I interpret it, only using that day's element for the whole day.

On a side note, Patchy might rub many people the wrong way with her belief that Science and Technology are one with Magic (As she states in Hisoutensoku)

So much neckbeard shit going on here.
I wish there was an option to hide everyone's posts but OP's.

>>51982
Huh, first strike might decide the match, but consider me doubtful that Patchouli will be the one getting first-striked. For whatever it's worth, she does happen to be able to fight and dodge on a mostly even basis against creatures with speeds roughly categorized as 'Bullshit'.

That said, this site isn't exactly the best place to discuss this, so I will drop the matter here.

>>51976
If Patchouli loses against Dumbledore without her "holding back", there's still hope for this story.

>>51994
Are you high or something? Dumbledore may be really good, but if Patchouli isn't holding back and in good health, his chances aren't good.

1. Patchouli may have bad health, but Albus is old. I wouldn't put my money on him in endurance.
2. Patchouli devotes her life to knowledge and magic. Albus is impressed now? He'll have a heart attack if Patchy call out the Philosopher Stone in battle. In knowledge of magic and pure power, Patchy is above him.

Simply put, Albus's only chance is to fight Patchouli on a bad day. You may whine that Patchy is put above wizards all you want, but are you seriously saying that there's no reason for it?

A good crossover isn't about adjusting powerlevels to put characters more or less equals. It's about looking at both canon stories, respect the powerlevels as shown on each side even if one overpower the other and still write an interesting story out of it.

>>51995
Please stop posting about this subject. Thanks.

Are we planning on fighting Flitwick or something as his gift? I thought we were going to demonstrate a Danmaku battle for him instead, you know? Show him our unique form of dueling?

>>51997
I don't beleive so - the duel is happening at some point when the students are present, and the gifts are being distributed at a meeting scheduled before that.

>>52000
Wasn't the mercury from another story? The one where the anon is going to get married to Flan?

>>52006

Oh shit, you're right. Wow I feel pretty dumb.

The majority of gifts are, as it happens, food items. For these, you can likely make a request to Sakuya, and if that is not a viable tactic, re-arrange your currently co-opted number of fae to include ones less incompetent regarding kitchen matters, and work from there.

Of the rest, pointless ornamentation and flavored tobacco can likely be purchased in any number of places. Given what you've seen of the comparison between the technological levels of the wizardly enclaves and the rest of the world as a whole, you can likely purchase a battery from one shop or another, so long as it is not run by the magically endowed. Or you could speak to the kappa, doubtless they have an item or two for trade.

... You believe that there is a battery involved somewhere in the workings of that monster of a vehicle, as well. However, you haven't the foggiest idea which part it may be, and when the choices are a successful extraction or a potentially violent explosion, you believe you will err on the side of caution for the moment and investigate other means, first.

You haven't picked up any poison yet, but you can likely have Kirisame brew something appropriately toxic. Though not particularly outstanding. While it wouldn't do to just dump the first, most commonly available thing you find into things, you also don't really want to pique his curiosity by using something he's unlikely to ever have seen before in any way. Likely some more normal chemical would do as well, if you choose to go that route.

But for the time being, there doesn't seem to be much else to do out here. You make a polite retreat through your tower to the SDM.

... It's quite clear, within minutes, that the portal has been used by another. It seems Remi has stepped out for a walk.

----

Some time previous...

You are Remilia Scarlet the benevolently tyrannical mistress of the Scarlet Devil Mansion.

As a vampire, you are weak to a number of things, including running water of most sorts, certain food items, and direct sunlight. You feel this is more or less made up for by your charismatic aura, the limited immortality and the superhuman physical ability the condition brings.

... You might have preferred to have waited a few more years before switching species, to allow for a touch more physical growth, but beggars have not the luxury of choice, and all.

In any case, you have a level of regeneration that leaves your defeat in battle only very hard won, and contributes significantly towards your immortality. As well, you can focus your aura into a sort of hypnotism and enthrall the weak minded into your fanatical, adoring servants.

It doesn't work on Patchy. And she doesn't appreciate the attempt at all. In fact, nobody really important in your household is susceptible to the ability... Probably for the better, as those so ensnared tend to be fairly useless afterwards, devoting all of their time and mental effort towards composing sonnets to your beauty. Which, while you appreciate the effort, is time that could be far better spent.

You are currently standing on the grounds of an old castle, Sakuya politely shading you from the sun's rays with an umbrella.

First things first, then. You bite sharply through the tip of your tongue, and spit out the meaty chunk that results. It will grow back, and even separated from the whole of your body, enough control of it remains to use one more helpful item from your sack of vampiric tricks. Before it hits the ground, it has transformed into a small bat and gone flapping into the nearby forest.

In spite of its new form, it is still a part of your body. As you can regenerate yourself from any part of your body, provided it is not utterly destroyed, you have made something of a habit over the centuries of leaving pieces of yourself lying about here and there, simply as a matter of precaution. In effect, this gives you dozens of 'extra lives' to work with, the only inconvenience being that, naturally, if you are forced to regenerate from a portion separated from the whole of yourself, then you will be there following that regeneration, rather than at the point where you found yourself forced to take that measure. This can, of course, be a very good or very bad thing.

But, trivial maters of habit out of the way, your attention turns to more important matters.

Clearly, there is some manner of amusing yourself to be found, Outside. The only concern is locating it.

---

[ ] What do you do?

[x] Sakuya, locate something amusing.

Delegation.

[x] Clearly, the first thing to do is explore dear Patchy's workplace. Having to ask your way around when you'll return to educate students on true history (yours) wouldn't do at all. And maybe you'll find something or someone interesting while doing so.

Oh wow, Remilia Quest is go. Hopefully, it will go better than with Marisa.

[x] Sakuya, locate something amusing.
[x] Clearly, the first thing to do is explore dear Patchy's workplace. Having to ask your way around when you'll return to educate students on true history (yours) wouldn't do at all. And maybe you'll find something or someone interesting while doing so.
-[x] While there, tail an unsuspecting human that seems interesting, weather permitting. Who knows what he/she will bring you to.
-[x] If all fails, follow Patchy if you can catch up, and listen in on her conversations. Maybe you can gleam interesting information from them.
So... Remi has Vampiric Horcruxes?

[x] Sakuya, locate something amusing.
[x] Why would you want to teach these wizardlings? Your time is much more valuable than that.
[x] Explore the area.

>>52019
Short memory or did you skip some parts?

[x] Sakuya, locate something amusing.
[x] Clearly, the first thing to do is explore dear Patchy's workplace. Having to ask your way around when you'll return to educate students on true history (yours) wouldn't do at all. And maybe you'll find something or someone interesting while doing so.
-[x] While there, tail an unsuspecting human that seems interesting, weather permitting. Who knows what he/she will bring you to.
-[x] If all fails, follow Patchy if you can catch up, and listen in on her conversations. Maybe you can gleam interesting information from them.

>>52018
Canonical vampiric horcruxes - she's noted as being able to turn into an infinite number of bats (less when it isn't the full moon) and regenerate from any of them. So all she has to do is make sure she has some bats in all sorts of places, like at least one in each flock of bats you might find. It's not like she's going to run out unless you've got some sort of epic "kill someone and all of their horcruxes/distant body parts/phylactery" spell. And if that spell was widely known, Dumbledore would have had someone cast it on Voldie by now.

Remi Quest go go go!.

[x] Those pathetic mortals forgot our might. Plunder, destroy and raze their hamlets to bring rightful terror to their hearts. The name of Scarlet wll be spoken with dread once more.

>>52021
>she's noted as being able to turn into an infinite number of bats (less when it isn't the full moon)
Less than infinite... is still infinite, right?
Perhaps you shouldn't use the word "infinite" there.

>>52020
I assume you're talking about Remilia's displeasure that the outside world had forgotten her?

I just think she'll have an easier time proving her grandeur/splendor/charisma/whateverthefuck to the world at large by going someplace where important people are, such as a governing body of some sort rather than a school.

>>52023
I assume she normally turns into a countable infinity of bats, but can turn into an uncountable infinity of them on the night of the full moon.

>>52024
Well, she would have to know where to find said governing body first, you know?

Besides, don't underestimate schools. Children are easier to impress = talks about her at school = name eventually spread to parents.

>>52024

Such as the "Ministry of Magic" perhaps?

>>52026
>>Besides, don't underestimate schools. Children are easier to impress = talks about her at school = name eventually spread to parents.

The issue with this is "To what effect" are you having your name spread? And why are you limiting yourself to this, especially considering the Students aren't even present at the school yet. No, this is, I'm sorry to say, somewhat pathetic. I'm not insulting you here, of even saying that this might not be useful, just commenting that Remilia can do more than just this here. So the better question to ask is "What goal are we working towards?"

That should determine our actions more than anything else here.

>>52028
Well, goal right now is finding something interesting.

...How did we start discussing about doing something that won't be done right now anyway?

>>52025

I'm not sure you quite grasp the concept of infinity, sir.

>>52031
Fun fact: math-wise, there are two different types of infinity

There's countable infinity, where it's theoretically possible to count every number to infinity. Imagine every integer--there's countably many of those.

And then there's uncountably many, sort of like infinity infinities, where it's impossible to count every number (even given infinite time, and the like). An example are the Real numbers, which include every infinitely long fraction of a number. There are infinite real numbers between any two consecutive (of infinitely many) rational numbers.

There's a lot more to it, mostly dealing with set theory, but this is probably the simplest (if flawed) way to explain it.

Anyways,

[x] Sakuya, locate something amusing.
[x] Clearly, the first thing to do is explore dear Patchy's workplace. Having to ask your way around when you'll return to educate students on true history (yours) wouldn't do at all. And maybe you'll find something or someone interesting while doing so.
-[x] While there, tail an unsuspecting human that seems interesting, weather permitting. Who knows what he/she will bring you to.
-[x] If all fails, follow Patchy if you can catch up, and listen in on her conversations. Maybe you can gleam interesting information from them.

>>52025

An infinite number of bats would have infinite mass, effectively collapsing the universe.

Even after learning something new from >>52032's fun fact, I firmly belive my comment in >>52031 still stands.

My bet is that the number is not so much "infinite" as "unlimited."

I'm >>52025, and it was just a math joke. I'm not >>52021, as >>52034 appears to be assuming. I am of course well aware that turning into infinite bats is ludicrous, no need to convince me of this.

>>52035

I'm not going to accept that either, because that still gives her the option of changing into enough bats to destroy the universe, even if that number of bats isn't, strictly speaking, "infinite".

>>52037

... This is Gensoukyou, land of the omnipotent boundary manipulators and broken shrine maidens. Why are you surprised?

>>52038
Yukari's not omnipotent.

>>52038

I was arguing from a purely scientific point of view. Please don't get me involved with whatever shitty fanon ideas you have.

>>52035
Unlimited Bat Works.

>>52023
>>52031
>>52034
>>52037
>>52038
>>52039
>>52040

Come on guys, why are you squabbling over the true meaning of infinity? Can't we just assume that he meant infinite in a practical sense, like uncountable, as in too many for the average human to give a reasonable estimation of by sight alone, as in A LOT. Do we really have to ridicule a guy for misusing the word infinite?

Do these pieces of Remilia get picked up by vampire detection spells and the like? I bet there's some vampire hunter organization running around disposing of them.

Remilia quest fuck yeah!

[x] Tail an unsuspecting human that seems interesting, weather permitting. Who knows what he/she will bring you to.

Bah! You people are so small time. Remi's an Elder Vampire, Ancient and Powerful. She has better things to do than to heckle some random human.

[x]Go exploring, take in the sights. Things have likely changed quite a bit since you've last been outside the Barrier, and you'll want to get the lay of the land before doing anything big.

[x] Sakuya, locate something amusing.
[x] Clearly, the first thing to do is explore dear Patchy's workplace. Having to ask your way around when you'll return to educate students on true history (yours) wouldn't do at all. And maybe you'll find something or someone interesting while doing so.

>>52050
Ditto.

[x]Go exploring, take in the sights. Things have likely changed quite a bit since you've last been outside the Barrier, and you'll want to get the lay of the land before doing anything big.

[x]Go exploring, take in the sights. Things have likely changed quite a bit since you've last been outside the Barrier, and you'll want to get the lay of the land before doing anything big.

[x]Go exploring, take in the sights. Things have likely changed quite a bit since you've last been outside the Barrier, and you'll want to get the lay of the land before doing anything big.

[x] Sakuya, locate something amusing.
[x] Go exploring, take in the sights. Things have likely changed quite a bit since you've last been outside the Barrier, and you'll want to get the lay of the land before doing anything big.
[x] Turn into infinite bats and collapse the universe.

Goddammit I refuse to see ANOTHER good story end because anon voted to collapse the universe under the weight of infinite bats.

[x] Go exploring, take in the sights. Things have likely changed quite a bit since you've last been outside the Barrier, and you'll want to get the lay of the land before doing anything big.
[X]Refrain from turning into infinite bats, allowing this pitiful universe to survive another day.

[x] Go exploring, take in the sights. Things have likely changed quite a bit since you've last been outside the Barrier, and you'll want to get the lay of the land before doing anything big.
Huh, I remember some anon saying he wished to see Remilia Charisma'ing it up at Hogwarts. Well, be careful what you wish for, because it really happened earlier than I thought. Try to keep collateral damage down, OK anon? I do not want to have Patchy fired before she even starts teaching. Because what happened last time we played as someone else.

[x] Destroy the puny universe by turning into infinite amount of bats.

[x] Sakuya, locate something amusing.
[x] Go exploring in the first place that looks interesting, whether that's Patchouli's workplace or elsewhere.

What is this nonsense with infinite bats? Remilia can turn into a swarm of bats, but even under the red moon at the height of her power (as seen in EoSD), it's still a worldly amount. (Picture related.)

[x]Violate the conservation of mass via the process of creating an infinite number of bats, creating a black hole large enough to cause the Big Crunch.

This is too amusing not to pass up. I also want to see what Kahi would write in response to this vote before retconning to the more proper votes.

>>52059
Well, all the rest of the bats are to the left and right, out of frame.

[x] Turn into infinite bats and collapse the universe.

>>52056 here.

Currently experiencing the white, hot rage of one thousand suns.

>>52057
We have already made it quite clear to Dumbledore that Patchy has only limited influence of the residents of gensokyo and the more powerful beings (such as Remi) are beyond her control, it's not like he can fire anon directly.

Leave the figth with entropy to Kyubey and his bunch of witches. No more of that infinite bat-wagon votes please.

[X]Scout surroundings.

[x] Sakuya, locate something amusing.
[x] Go exploring, take in the sights. Things have likely changed quite a bit since you've last been outside the Barrier, and you'll want to get the lay of the land before doing anything big.

[X] Make a giant statue of yourself out of bats

If we're gonna spawn shitloads of bats I say we do something constructive

Hm, bats... No, you don't think you'll be doing this. The universe is where you keep your things, after all, and you're quite fond of many of them. Aside from that, while it's only minimally painful annoying to tear your own body apart into countless pieces in such a manner, you would still prefer to consider other options at least briefly before doing so.

"Sakuya. Locate something entertaining, would you?"

"Of course, milady." She replies, and her grip on the umbrella shifts just slightly. "The castle is largely uninhabited at the moment, save for a number of wandering ghosts, a rather aged man with a mop, a single housecat, and some number of small beings I am not entirely familiar with. Potentially some manner of imp. However, there is a woman in the greenhouses, who seems to be running a short inspection and caring for the flora within."

Hm, a gardener. Sounds like the kind of person you could Yuka Kazami introduce yourself to very politely and hold a careful conversation with, while taking care not to disturb her efforts too greatly, or accidentally damage any of her plants without cause. Doing otherwise would be rude, after all, and you must keep etiquette in mind, of course.

"The forest contains an enclave of Centaurs." Sakuya notes, with an air of distaste. "As well as giant spiders. There are also some number of wandering animals, including unicorn, wolf, boar, and bear, and a single, rather battered automobile. A small hamlet stands some distance present, with a moderate number of inhabitants, the requisite taverns, and several shops, including but not limited to a purveyor of practical jokery and japes and a sweet-shop, inventory including such notable items as candied cockroach, chocolate toads, and blood-flavored lollipops. The last are touted as being 'popular with vampires', but there do not seem to be any subdivisions within the last to account for variance of subtle flavor between differing blood-types, and as such I have reason to doubt this claim applies to any but the least discriminatory."

"Thank you, Sakuya. Little else notable?"

"There is a railway, however the train seems not to be present at this time." Sakuya replies.

----

[ ] What do you do?

[x] To the hamlet it is! Let the people rejoice the sight of a true vampire.

Introduce yourself to the gardener. Be polite. Be courteous. Make it terrifyingly obvious who you are.

[x] Meet this gardener and find out exactly where in Britain you are right now, and what the currant state of it is, politically and otherwise.
-[x] From your location judge whether you would be capable of reaching at least major population center (preferably London or wherever the local leaders are) in a reasonable time-frame and difficulty or if some form of transport will be required as it seems there is little here of interest for the time being, unless you feel like lowering yourself to the petty jokes of the likes of Yakumo and Fae.

Sounds like someone might have been traumatized by met Yuka in the past...

[x] To the hamlet it is! Let the people rejoice the sight of a true vampire.

[x] Go to this sweet-shop. Demand to speak to the manager, and outline for him the intricacies of vampire cuisine.

When controlling another person, you've got to put yourself in their shoes. Going up to some poor guy and lecturing him about how his "loved by vampires" lollipops don't even have labels for the type of blood, let alone [insert blood-flavoring factor here. Perhaps ethnicity or antibodies?] seems like something Remilia'd do. At least how I see her.

[x] Introduce yourself to the gardener. Be polite. Be courteous. Make it terrifyingly obvious who you are.

Terrifying a Herbology master in her place of power. Sounds like a great idea.

[x] To the hamlet it is! Let the people rejoice the sight of a true vampire.
[x] Go to this sweet-shop. Demand to speak to the manager, and outline for him the intricacies of vampire cuisine.

[x] To the hamlet it is! Let the people rejoice the sight of a true vampire.
[x] Go to this sweet-shop. Demand to speak to the manager, and outline for him the intricacies of vampire cuisine.

[x] Go to this sweet-shop. Demand to speak to the manager, and outline for him the intricacies of vampire cuisine.

Presumably heightened levels of immune activity would give a different taste, both from there being different levels of things in the blood and perhaps a sort of a 'fizzy' sensation as the various white blood cells and such attack the vampire's body in slightly higher levels than usual. Though the the latter would probably only appear if the blood was swished around in the mouth for a while, as one would do with wine. Otherwise, it'd just go straight to the stomach without any time for an immune response.

[x] To the hamlet it is! Let the people rejoice the sight of a true vampire.
[x] Go to this sweet-shop. Demand to speak to the manager, and outline for him the intricacies of vampire cuisine.
-[x] Ensure that at least on subsequent visits he will have something in "blood type b" flavor.

Maybe Remi will get blood in a way that doesn't stain her clothes now.

[x] Introduce yourself to the gardener. Be polite. Be courteous. Make it terrifyingly obvious who you are.

The plebians spare you the occasional nod and cheery wave as you pass, but as a whole fail entirely to be moved by your regal demeanor and general superiority as they continue to partake in their general gossipery and partake of foul-looking beverages.

You seem to recall the job of being a filthy, dirt-shoveling peasant involving... rather more filthiness and dirt shoveling. Progress of the times, you suppose. Or it's just that everyone here is a magician that can spell away their hog manure rather than having to manually remove it, and make the crops tend and gather themselves, come harvest.

Even so, it's somewhat vexing to see so many of the humble peons frittering their time away as though they had nothing important to fill it with. If you were still in charge of a village like this, you can be sure that your working class would, in fact, be working productively. Rather than chatting about who the town strumpet was most recently caught dallying with in the apple orchard, over bottles of swill, all day.

You make your way to the sweet shop and quickly discover that the salesperson at the counter doubles as the store manager. How quaint. You air your grievances against him.

"Sir, I wish to address a complaint against your inventory and shoddy labeling practices."

"... Er, what." Is the man's witty response.

"The lollies." You say, directing his attention to them. "I harbor a greivance against their excessively general labeling."

"... Come again miss? The blood pops? Don't know what you're on about."

"It's entirely too general. You didn't bother to seperate them out at all. Lazy and inferior work."

"Sep... I don't follow, little miss. Blood is blood, an' all. Not really much more to it."

"Oh, but I am afraid you're quite mistaken, as any real vampire could tell you. As it happens, I am not convinced of your labeling practices either."

"Look, miss, I don't make the lollies, I just order them and sell em." The shopkeep says, feebly attempting to placate you. "I'm sure the testing that got done was-"

"Clearly entirely inadequate. But since you seem to have failed to properly research the subject matter, I will do you the kindness of educating you, though I fear my time will be utterly wasted in the venture. Blood is divided into four general categories: A, B, AB, and O. This division and labeling structure is agreed upon by medical practitioners as the safest way of easily determining who may safely give their blood to whom, should transfusions be required."

"Here now, transfus... giving someone your blood, what rot is that. Dangerous dark magics, that would have to be. Devil would you do that for, when you can just kip back a blood replenishing-"

"Silence, plebian." You interrupt. "Your better is attempting to force simple education into that empty space betwixt your ears. I will continue: It is not a matter of magic at all, but medical science. And it is entirely aside from the point. The interest in the matter comes from the fact that each division of blood bears its own unique, subtle flavorings. Entirely aside from this is the matter of diet and the health of the donor. What do you find yourself with when you take blood from a morbidly obese, disgusting example of humanity? A wretchedly foul tasting cup of greasy life fluids. Inferior, and only suitable if there is quite literally no other option to be found. Do your suppliers take care to screen donors for flavoring for their physical health and dietary practices?"

You pointedly pluck up a blood pop and give it a testing lick, then frown.

"Tch. I see not. A chaotic slurry of any number of samples, many soused with drunkenness or of general ill health. Sub-par and barely palatable."

"Now wait, you're meanin' to say as there's real-"

"Entirely aside from the point. I suppose that the fault, then is not entirely your own, plebian, as the suppliers have failed in their part to seperate subtle nuances according to personal tastes."

"Look... look miss, you're worrying the customers, you see." The man says, sweating a little. "Are the lollipops what you're after? Look, I'll give you the whole damn box, if you'll just go away and let business settle back down to normal."

How quaint. The peasant is attempting to bribe you.

---

[ ] What do you do?

[X] Facepalm x0 Combo!

[x] I will not be bribed by these second-class sweets.

>>52087
I'm sure you think you're really funny. But you're not. Especially when you already made this "joke" over in City Quest.

We're not really the "facepalm for the win lol" kind of site, if you hadn't noticed. Not to mention facepalming has only tangential relation at best to being offer free candy to go away.

[x] To take something like this for free implies you are incapable of paying for it. Thank the man for his offering, but decline.
[x] You shall trouble him no further, but he ought to have a talk with his suppliers regarding the quality of their product.
[x] This castle's forest is stocked with wild game, was it not?

I guess I can go behind that, having no better idea myself.

[x] To take something like this for free implies you are incapable of paying for it. Thank the man for his offering, but decline.
[x] You shall trouble him no further, but he ought to have a talk with his suppliers regarding the quality of their product.
[x] This castle's forest is stocked with wild game, was it not?

[x] To take something like this for free implies you are incapable of paying for it. Thank the man for his offering, but decline.
[x] You shall trouble him no further, but he ought to have a talk with his suppliers regarding the quality of their product.
[x] Return to the castle and introduce yourself to the gardener. Be polite. Be courteous. Make it terrifyingly obvious who you are.

Can't be terrifying if we're being courteous. Plus, we haven't yet seen what Ms. Sprout is like.

>>52089

I don't think I'm funny. I'm just facepalming, in a fourth-wall breaking way.

Though, to be fair, I could definitely see Remilia facepalming mentally, even if she's far too proud to do it obviously.

[x] To take something like this for free implies you are incapable of paying for it. Thank the man for his offering, but decline.
[x] You shall trouble him no further, but he ought to have a talk with his suppliers regarding the quality of their product.
[x] Inquire about a means of transporting yourself and your servant to someplace a little less... provincial. Surely there is means to get someplace Outside that is more lively than this.
-[x] Make sure the conveyance, whatever it is, is up to your standards.

It's just like Patchy to decide to take employment out in the middle of nowhere.

>>52093
Ah. Hard to tell when someone thinks they're being funny, text on a website and all that.

The vote isn't a place for you to put your personal reactions to the story, for future reference.

But yeah, to give you due credit, Remilia might conceivably do that in response to this situation, though from the sound of things that wasn't your main reason.

[x] To take something like this for free implies you are incapable of paying for it. Thank the man for his offering, but decline.
[x] You shall trouble him no further, but he ought to have a talk with his suppliers regarding the quality of their product.
[x] Inquire about a means of transporting yourself and your servant to someplace a little less... provincial. Surely there is means to get someplace Outside that is more lively than this.
-[x] Make sure the conveyance, whatever it is, is up to your standards.

[x] To take something like this for free implies you are incapable of paying for it. Thank the man for his offering, but decline.
[x] You shall trouble him no further, but he ought to have a talk with his suppliers regarding the quality of their product.
[x] Inquire about a means of transporting yourself and your servant to someplace a little less... provincial. Surely there is means to get someplace Outside that is more lively than this.
-[x] Make sure the conveyance, whatever it is, is up to your standards.

Hey, is it wrong that i want to see a Remilia vs Voldemort battle where they try to out Dark Lord each other? Like 2 organized crime groups contesting over territory.

[x] To take something like this for free implies you are incapable of paying for it. Thank the man for his offering, but decline.
[x] You shall trouble him no further, but he ought to have a talk with his suppliers regarding the quality of their product.
[x] Return to the castle and introduce yourself to the gardener. Be polite. Be courteous. Make it terrifyingly obvious who you are.
[x] Inquire about a means of transporting yourself and your servant to someplace a little less... provincial. Surely there is means to get someplace Outside that is more lively than this.
-[x] Make sure the conveyance, whatever it is, is up to your standards.

[x] Decline. You have no use for such an inferior product.
[x] Request the contact details of his supplier. This insult to vampirekind has to be rectified. If people eat these and think they represent state of the art blood sweets, it'll give them an entirely wrong impression. And we can't have that.

Remilia is incapable of paying for it. Bartering perhaps, but not paying.

"I am not interested in the paltry bribery you might bring to bear." You clarify. "My intent was to bring this matter to your attention, such that you might reconcile the error posthaste. With that errand completed, I require only directions towards a means of conveyance to some less provincial region."

... The man blinks slowly, and seems to be mouthing your words to himself.

"We would like to know how to travel somewhere." Sakuya clarifies.

"Oh, well why din't you say?" The man says in response, ignoring your vexation. "If ye can't Apparate for whatever reason, there's always the Knight Bus. It'll get you about wherever you need to go. Express's still off, getting ready to haul in the students this year. Can use the floo in the three broomsticks or the Hog's Head, though. She'll take you right to Diagon Alley, or anywhere else you know to go with it."

Wonderful. A minimal choice between means of public transportation. What a joy.

Further questioning reveals that the Knight Bus is, indeed, a bus and is generally crammed with destitute and no doubt usually smelly wayfarers. The Floo system, by comparison, is travel by fire. Somewhat grander, were it not for the fireplace involved, but needs must.... Sadly, it will only convey you to places you know have an exit point: as such, you would be limited to Diagon Alley and those two taverns, until you learn of others.

It is also a free service, it seems, where the Knight Bus requires payment. However, the bus is less limited in destinations, though you'll have to think of someplace in advance, and you can probably just enthrall the driver into waiving your fee and simply accepting the honor of transporting you as sufficient repayment in its own right.

---

[ ] What do you do?

[x] Floo. This should be good.

Diagon Alley connects to Nocturne Alley if I'm not mistaken, might be an appropriate place to find vampire oriented business.

>>52102
Oh good idea about the nocturne alley vampire stuffs.

[x] Floo. This should be good.

[x] Floo to Diagon Alley. This should be good.

[x] Floo. This should be good.

Sakuya is such a ninja-maid. I didn't realize she was there until she spoke.

[X] Floo. This should be good.

For some reason the idea of Remi hopping a bus amuses me, even if she'd realistically find it too far beneath her to do.

[x] "Diagon Alley" implies someplace large enough to have proper streets, at least. And the Knight Bus sounds absolutely dreadful, so floo it is, as long as that is actually a means of transportation and not a disease.
-[x] Be sure to discretely leave another bit of yourself someplace here, just in case you need an alternate means of returning.

[X] Floo. This should be good.
-[x] Note to self, find out what this apperation is and learn how to do it or something similar, if these peasants can pull it off so can you. Might be worth having Sakuya learn too, unless she prefers timehax.

>>52107
She already did as she left the portal room, it's near hogwarts.

Wait, Can Remilia use magic? I didn't think that was part of her skill set.

>>52111
Curse [Curse of Vlad Tepes]
[Red Magic]

She uses magic all right, and mostly blood magic at that. What did you think her danmaku was made out of?

Floo travel it is, then.

You elect to pass through the Three Broomsticks, mostly due to an air of general cleanliness that the other taver quite thoroughly lacks. The overly voluptuous bartender makes a token attempt to push drinks at you as you pass: some sort of wine at Sakuya, and a slightly bubbly looking, buttery drink that barely smells to have any alcohol in it at all.

You have an inkling that it's a watered-down children's drink, and feel... vaguely miffed. It isn't as though you can get terribly upset about it, granting apparent ages into account, but even so.

You pass through the fire and into another small building that appears to more or less be used solely for travel to and from this Alley. It seems not to be regularly used: apparently travelers prefer to walk as little as they can manage, and so floo directly to their chosen shop? Or something along those lines.

In any case, the alley seems fairly similar to any number of reasonably-thriving market lanes you might have been familiar with a few hundred years ago, with appropriate clothing for such periods. There are numerous storefronts, though few of the small peddler-carts that you might expect to be in such a locale, and it appears that not far off there is a turn-off onto a rather gloomier stretch of market. The local pedestrians down that way seem to have a tendency of keeping their hoods up and not looking too closely at anyone passing through.

Well, it seems like you can leave through a passage that way, somewhere, if you want to look around outside. Perhaps just flying over a wall or two.

If you remain here, of course, you don't seem to have any of the local currency. Should you think of, or find, something you wish to lay claim to, you will likely have to 'convince' either the shopkeeper to gift it to you, or someone near to foot the bill.

---

[ ] What do you do?

[x] Make a mental note to have Patchouli get you some of the local currency next time you see her.
[x] Explore around, see if there is something interesting here around. You'll deal with acquisition should you actually find something of worth and in limited stock.

[x] Make a mental note to have Patchouli get you some of the local currency next time you see her.
[x] For now, your Charm should be enough to gather limited funds
-[x] You may want to Enthrall some sycophants later, they may be useful sources of information and resources from/about this community.
[x] Explore around, see if there is something interesting here around. You'll deal with acquisition should you actually find something of worth and in limited stock.

[x] Make a mental note to have Patchouli get you some of the local currency next time you see her.
[x] Explore around, see if there is something interesting here around. You'll deal with acquisition should you actually find something of worth and in limited stock.

[x] Make a mental note to have Patchouli get you some of the local currency next time you see her.
[x] For now, your Charm should be enough to gather limited funds
-[x] You may want to Enthrall some sycophants later, they may be useful sources of information and resources from/about this community.
[x] Explore around, see if there is something interesting here around. You'll deal with acquisition should you actually find something of worth and in limited stock.

[x] Make a mental note to have Patchouli get you some of the local currency next time you see her.
[x] For now, your Charm should be enough to gather limited funds
-[x] You may want to Enthrall some sycophants later, they may be useful sources of information and resources from/about this community.
[x] Explore around, see if there is something interesting here around. You'll deal with acquisition should you actually find something of worth and in limited stock.

[x] Make a mental note to have Patchouli get you some of the local currency next time you see her.
-[x] You may want to Enthrall some sycophants later, they may be useful sources of information and resources from/about this community.
[x] Explore around, see if there is something interesting here around. You'll deal with acquisition should you actually find something of worth and in limited stock.

[x] Mentally ponder the creation of a blood-pop worthy for your own consumption later on.
[x] Make a mental note to have Patchouli get you some of the local currency next time you see her.
[x] For now, your Charm should be enough to help you with the situation, and/or your lack of funds.
-[x] You may want to Enthrall some sycophants later, they may be useful sources of information and resources from/about this community.

[X] Excessively-wordy and over-complicated option that details a specific series of actions and responses with no regard for how the scene might actually play out and thus is not guaranteed to work at all like the people voting for it expected it to

I'm really hoping that somehow we manage to enthrall Malfoy Senior, and drain his funds into the mansion. No real reason IC for her to do so, but that's something I hope happens.

>>52133
Sic Koakuma on anyone we dislike. Her orders? Fuck to kill.

[X] Excessively-wordy and over-complicated option that details a specific series of actions and responses with no regard for how the scene might actually play out and thus is not guaranteed to work at all like the people voting for it expected it to

Not sure what option this is, but I say go for it!

>>52134
That... would actually be quite funny.

[X] Excessively-wordy and over-complicated option that details a specific series of actions and responses with no regard for how the scene might actually play out and thus is not guaranteed to work at all like the people voting for it expected it to

Hell, I'm on board.

There isn't even a long option being voted on, you whiners.

[x] Mentally ponder the creation of a blood-pop worthy for your own consumption later on. It's almost certainly within Sakuya's culinary ability.
[x] Make a mental note to have Patchouli get you some of the local currency next time you see her.
[x] For now, your Diplomacy Skills and, if necessary, Charismatic Aura should be enough to help you with the situation, and/or your lack of funds.
-[x] You may want to Enthrall some sycophants later, they may be useful sources of information and resources from/about this community.
[x] Explore around, see if there is something interesting here around. You'll deal with acquisition should you actually find something of worth and in limited stock.
[x] Plant another bat in Diagon Alley.

You'll have to have Patchy hand over some local currency at some point. Well, assuming you still have none of your own by the time you meet again.

For now, your typical charm should be enough, for the moment. Though... these wizards either seem to be impressively tight-fisted, or they simply don't have, in general, much ready cash to give.

Charismatic words and hinting that a donation would be well received carries you for a way, but in the end it only nets you a handful of silver coins, and a few more bronze ones.

No matter. You weren't particularly focused on acquiring funds through charity, in any case. If you need to drain more funds from someone than they are willing to turn over, it shouldn't be a problem to locate someone susceptible to a more focused sort of mental seduction.

You wander around, taking in the sights. There doesn't seem to be much to interest you here: bookshops and animal supply stores. A rather smelly place that seems to entirely focus on potion reagents.

Nothing of particular interest. You turn down the gloomier alley.

This is a bit more interesting. Through the haze of scents, you can detect a myriad and cocktail of callously spilled blood, both aged and fresh. The shops don't seem to strongly advertise their stocks, but you see a sign labeled 'Borgin and Burkes' within the gloom, and a glance through a dusty window reveals it to be... some sort of secondhand store? Well, there's a fairly strong blood-stench here, though old, and a slight whiff of faint decay. It might be interesting.

There are, of course, a few places focusing on beverages of one sort or another, though they are not particularly well lit, and there seem to be fresher scents, there.

A few doors down, you see a slightly portly man stumble casually out of a building. The breeze carries the scent of opium to you, and before he adjusts his collar to conceal it, you note a slight puncture wound.

---

[ ] What do you do?

[x] Such a wound... Perhaps it would be worth questionning the man as to how he acquired it.
-[x] If the answer is indeed from a vampire, it would be worth your time to see if your name is still known amongst them, unlike forgetful humans.
-[x] If not, simply choose a blood scent to investigate and do so.

[x] Such a wound... Perhaps it would be worth questionning the man as to how he acquired it.
-[x] If the answer is indeed from a vampire, it would be worth your time to see if your name is still known amongst them, unlike forgetful humans.
-[x] If not, investigate this secondhand store

What sort of vampire eats with a single fang? It's a needle wound.

>>52147
Remilia had the time to see one puncture wound. Who say there's not a second hole just under it?

...Then again, chances are that you're right. Dammit. Deleting my vote, will need to think of something else.

>>52147
That would have to be a pretty big needle for the wound to be seen from "a few doors down".

[x] Such a wound... Perhaps it would be worth questionning the man as to how he acquired it.
-[x] If the answer is indeed from a vampire, it would be worth your time to see if your name is still known amongst them, unlike forgetful humans.
-[x] If not, investigate this secondhand store.

>>52149
Vampire eyesight, remember?

[x] Leave the drug user alone. Not even his blood is worth something with that filth running through his body.
[x] Investigate this secondhand store

>opium
>you note a slight puncture wound

The dude is a druggie. Why the hell are you people going on about vampires?

[x] Leave the drug user alone. Not even his blood is worth something with that filth running through his body.
[x] Investigate this secondhand store

"Sir, if I may inquire... the cause of the fascinating wound that marks thy throat?" You call silkily, putting just enough charm into the query to ensure it is not dismissed.

"The harlot within. Not that it's any of your concern, whelp." The man replies, and disappears with a sharp crack.

How terribly rude of the man. Still, it is all the confirmation you need.

You enter the dusty chambers, and the smell of opium rises up to attack your nostrils once more, mingled with myriad smokes and incenses, and the strong stench of exertions. And just the faintest trace of blood, swiftly disappearing as the inhabitant laps a few spilled droplets from the unswept floorboards.

She looks up at you, slight patina of grime hinting that she is long past personally caring towards her hygeine or appearance.

"Ah, sweet... little treat... this is no place for a child to wander in play..." She rasps, rising up and taking a step before something in your demeanor gives her pause. "... And yet, you are certainly no child. But have you brought me a gift, sweet? A blood I've not tasted, a treat all my own... Gift? Or exchange? I do not frequently take the business of the fairer sex, that I do not..."

"Hmph. Wretched beast. You've not even the grace to kneel." You say, snidely. "But from one who peddles her wares, such as they are, in exchange for your sustenance I suppose it is only to be expected. A shame. I had hopes for a moment, but though you might be a being of the nocturnal hours, it seems I've found no more than a mere gutter whore."

"And what of it?" the vampiress snaps. "I offer this service, yes. I give what they desire, and take my own needs in turn. Do you think it such a simple thing to ease the cravings? Yes, I might be for a night or two, the client rather than the host, and pay visit to those houses of ill repute where none pay heed to that which might happen behind closed doors and curtains, save that the woman within be prepared to serve the next client, and the next, after the alloted time has passed. But such are costly expenses..."

"You have no pride." You say, sharply. "Ending your miserable existence should be a mercy."

She hisses. But she does nto dispute the claim.

"What pride is there to take in a wretched curse such as this?" She nearly snarls. "Seventy long years have I toiled under its yoke, a forced slave to a craving I never sought. The purest of blood, stolen from me by a filthy beast, that struck and faded again into the night like a shadow. And now, the closest to that which I once had is the merest touch, the barest taste that from time to time is offered."

She groans.

"... Already, the hunger has returned. It is never enough...."

"It is a fire that must be quenched in blood." You note, understanding the situation, though not feeling any particular pity for it.

"Blood! Always more blood, rivers and oceans of it." She snarls. "But I will not give in, or submit to this curse. It would have me attack in the night, steal from others what had been stolen from me, and then... death! As I become a hunted animal, the gifts I can no longer lay claim to turned against me... I will not be hunted. I will live, no matter the wretchedness I might sink to."

"Such petulant defiance. And so, you do not realize that you do not 'live', but merely... 'exist', in the most generous sense of the word." You say, dryly. "And a part of you agrees, in the face of eternity of such 'existence', that it would be better off for it to end..."

She lets loose a soft, hissing lungful of air.

"... It is no concern of yours. But I will stretch even this meager existence for so far as I am able. Leave me in peace, or attempt to end it, as you will. But do not expect that I will not struggle to continue my life."

You snort, softly. Yes. Likely better off dead, in such miserable conditions. Perhaps it isn't for you to determine that, however. She would likely not be willing to change her patterns of actions with mere words, however.

---

[ ] What do you do?

[x] Leave this wretch. Give her another century or 2 to come to terms with her nature. Or die trying.
--[x] Go to the second-hand store

Oh wow, it was one after all.

[x] Leave this wretch. Give her another century or 2 to come to terms with her nature. Or die trying.
--[x] Go to the second-hand store

[x] Leave this wretch. Give her another century or 2 to come to terms with her nature. Or die trying.
--[x] Go to the second-hand store

Too young and desperate to do something interesting. Too weak to give her the honor of a fight. And too low-class to make her our servant. All in all, nothing to do here.

>>Too young and desperate to do something interesting. Too weak to give her the honor of a fight. And too low-class to make her our servant. All in all, nothing to do here.

The least Remi can do is offer her some advice, even if it is in the end equivalent to throwing pearls among swine.

[x] Leave this wretch. Give her another century or 2 to come to terms with her nature. Or die trying.
--[x] Go to the second-hand store

A foolish child. Well, she'll either grow out of this self-pity or die in a gutter. Either way it's none of our concern.

[x] Leave this wretch. Give her another century or 2 to come to terms with her nature. Or die trying.
--[x] Give her one last epiphany.
--[x] Go to the second-hand store

[x] Leave this wretch. Give her another century or 2 to come to terms with her nature. Or die trying.
--[x] Give her one last epiphany.
--[x] Go to the second-hand store

Inquire after this "beast" that gave her what should have been a gift and abandoned her. Such a neglectful sire is not deserving of life, or un-life one would say.

Bonus points as one of Remi's fannon berserk switches is abandonment.

[X] Inquire after this "beast" that gave her what should have been a gift and abandoned her. Such a neglectful sire is not deserving of life, or un-life one would say.

[X] Find out how the noble dead could have become so debased in a few mere centuries

[x] Inquire after this "beast" that gave her what should have been a gift and abandoned her. Such a neglectful sire is not deserving of life or unlife, whichever this particular variety of vampire possesses.
[x] When done, leave the wretch. Give her more time to come to terms with her nature or die trying.
--[x] Give her one last epiphany.
--[x] Go to the second-hand store.

[x] Leave this wretch. Give her another century or 2 to come to terms with her nature. Or die trying.
- [x] Go to the second-hand store

>>52152
Drugs are generally not injected at the neck.

[x] Inquire after this "beast" that gave her what should have been a gift and abandoned her. Such a neglectful sire is not deserving of life or unlife, whichever this particular variety of vampire possesses.
[x] When done, leave the wretch. Give her more time to come to terms with her nature or die trying.
--[x] Give her one last epiphany.
--[x] Go to the second-hand store.

[X] Find out how the noble dead could have become so debased in a few mere centuries

About the 'beast', guys, she said it struck and faded immediately. It's unlikely she has more to tell about it.

[x] Enlighten this wretch about the greatness of the vampire master race.

Can't let her soil the master race's reputation even more.

[x] Inquire after this "beast" that gave her what should have been a gift and abandoned her. Such a neglectful sire is not deserving of life or unlife, whichever this particular variety of vampire possesses.
[x] When done, leave the wretch. Give her more time to come to terms with her nature or die trying.
[x] Go to the second-hand store.

>>52168
"About the 'beast', guys, she said it struck and faded immediately. It's unlikely she has more to tell about it."

[x] Inquire after this "beast" that gave her what should have been a gift and abandoned her. Such a neglectful sire is not deserving of life or unlife, whichever this particular variety of vampire possesses.

Even so, she's got to know SOMETHING more about him. Especially if the beast makes a habit of doing this when he feeds, that's not just bad parenting, it's diluting the Nobility of the Vampire race to "scatter his wild oats" so freely.
Just look at this wretch, there could be dozens, even hundreds more like her scattered all over.

[x] Enlighten this wretch about the greatness of the vampire master race.

[x] Inquire after this "beast" that gave her what should have been a gift and abandoned her. Such a neglectful sire is not deserving of life or unlife, whichever this particular variety of vampire possesses.

I want to see a vampire battle along the lines of an Alucard sequence from Hellsing. Let's hunt.

[x] Inquire after this "beast" that gave her what should have been a gift and abandoned her. Such a neglectful sire is not deserving of life or unlife, whichever this particular variety of vampire possesses.
[x] Give her one last epiphany before leaving.

Clearly we must do something to do this poor sire who's giving creatures of the night an improper reputation due to the quality of those spawns.

Speaking of which:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0AZ5XZHIDh0

"The one who sired you. Tell me of him." You request politely.

All you receive in turn is a glower, and you sigh. No hope for it, then.

"The one who sired you. You will tell me of him." You repeat yourself, no longer 'requesting', but merely stating a fact, assured that it would be so.

"I do not know. The memory is fogged. I have suspicions, but I pray they are misled, for the one they point to was executed only thirty years ago." She replies, your enthralling words all but forcing the weakling's tongue to move on its own. She seems baffled by the words spilling forth, even as she tries to prevent them.

"And, if so, what vengeance you could offer remains eternally unfulfilled." You note.

"How... the imp-"

"Your nature recognizes the superior standing before you, and responds appropriately, even though your mind may not." You say, waving a hand dismissively. "It is clear that you have squandered the years following your gift, though unsought it may have been."

"Gift?" She all but snarls. "I am cursed, and have lost everything."

"You are blessed, and have been given more than you could ever have dreamed to ask." You counter. "If there is a price that must be paid in exchange for it... that is simply a sacrifice that others will have to make for you. But there will always be those who will not be missed. Perhaps a century or two hence, you will come to realize this on your own."

"... you would suggest I ingest the filthy blood of muggles?" She says, a look of palpable disgust coming across her face.

"Hm... my apologies. I had not realized that one such as you would have the luxury remaining to them, to be selective regarding their dinner."

"I would sooner die than debase myself so far." She snaps, without heat and not seeming entirely convinced of her words.

"Even now, do you not writhe through the muck, tiny worm that you are? How much lower to you believe you might burrow, I wonder. Sakuya. We're leaving."

"Of course, mistress." Is the calm reply. Neither of you hesitate at all in turning your backs to the creature living in its squalor, knowing that it could not bring any harm to you even were it motivated to make the attempt.

You head to that secondhand store, Bjorn and Burkinson's, or whatever it was called, and enter. The musty stench increases.

The rot, to a degree, is explained away by one of the items set for sale, the scent hanging and floating about it like a cloud, though restrained and prevented from advancing to eat thoroughly away at the flesh of it. The blood-scent, you do not yet see an explanation for.

"Hand of Glory... little miss." The shopkeeper rasps from near. "Place candle in its grip, and it shines a light that only the holder can see. A close friend of those who prefer to do their work unseen...."

---

[ ] What do you do?

[x]You are a creature of the night, and have no need of any trinket to help cut through its veil. Rebuke him subtly.
[x]Otherwise, let the shopkeep prattle on about his wares. While you chafe at having to listen to a plebian such as he, he might bring up something of use in his monologuing.
[x]While he does so, search among the items to find the source of the blood-stench.
[x]If you come across anything of particular interest, have Sakuya inquire as to what the price may be.

Key word subtly. While he is obviously trying to get the quick sell on what he assumes is a young lost girl, you know that he is not intentionally insulting you. Be it by revealing your nature directly, or with a few cutting words, he should be informed of your status readily.

Of course, if there is some other item he attempts to pawn off on you that is as large an insult, be free to remove your gloves, as the case may be. Be the distant, imperious lady working through your maid, until he forces your hand.

Furthermore, the blood-stench has been bothering you for a while. Even if it is a trifling, you do wish to discover what it is. Given the usefulness of the Hand of Glory to any mortal, perhaps the stench will lead you to something more suited to your tastes.

[x]You are a creature of the night, and have no need of any trinket to help cut through its veil. Rebuke him subtly.
[x]Otherwise, let the shopkeep prattle on about his wares. While you chafe at having to listen to a plebian such as he, he might bring up something of use in his monologuing.
[x]While he does so, search among the items to find the source of the blood-stench.
[x]If you come across anything of particular interest, have Sakuya inquire as to what the price may be.

I can get behind that.

[x]You are a creature of the night, and have no need of any trinket to help cut through its veil. Rebuke him subtly.
[x]Otherwise, let the shopkeep prattle on about his wares. While you chafe at having to listen to a plebian such as he, he might bring up something of use in his monologuing.
[x]While he does so, search among the items to find the source of the blood-stench.
[x]If you come across anything of particular interest, have Sakuya inquire as to what the price may be.

That's the right voice, all right

[x]You are a creature of the night, and have no need of any trinket to help cut through its veil. Rebuke him subtly.
[x]Otherwise, let the shopkeep prattle on about his wares. While you chafe at having to listen to a plebian such as he, he might bring up something of use in his monologuing.
[x]While he does so, search among the items to find the source of the blood-stench.
[x]If you come across anything of particular interest, have Sakuya inquire as to what the price may be.

Who needs a candle to see in the dark? We got time-hax maid-chan!

[x]You are a creature of the night, and have no need of any trinket to help cut through its veil. Rebuke him subtly.
[x]Otherwise, let the shopkeep prattle on about his wares. While you chafe at having to listen to a plebian such as he, he might bring up something of use in his monologuing.
[x]While he does so, search among the items to find the source of the blood-stench.
[x]If you come across anything of particular interest, have Sakuya inquire as to what the price may be.

[x]You are a creature of the night, and have no need of any trinket to help cut through its veil. Rebuke him subtly.
[x]Otherwise, let the shopkeep prattle on about his wares. While you chafe at having to listen to a plebian such as he, he might bring up something of use in his monologuing.
[x]While he does so, search among the items to find the source of the blood-stench.
[x]If you come across anything of particular interest, have Sakuya inquire as to what the price may be.
[x] Note to self: keep an ear to the ground about rumors, opinions and news regarding vampires in the outside world. while charm will deal with any immediate problems your status brings it would to wise to know in advance if there will be any annoyances to deal with if society in general notices your nature thanks to cretins like this "beast", it will also help you find him and others like him and give them the punishment they earned.

[X] No thanks. I can see in the dark.

"I have no need of such a trinket. The night holds no secrets from one such as myself." You say, chiding him without being too overt about it.

"Hm... and perhaps not. Will you be... browsing the rest of my wares?" He says, considering you a touch more carefully.

You move among the items, trying to lock down the scent's origin... no good. It seems that nearly everything in this store has, at one point or another, been spattered with or drenched in blood, to one degree or another. The shopkeeper drones, from time to time, about one thing or another, but nothing catches your interest.

Sakuya has noted something, however, and coughs to draw your attention to it.

It is at first glance an ordinary, albeit ornate and likely valuable antique teapot, that seems somehow familiar. Rather than the decorations, what draws your eye, however, is the small mark etched into it...

"I must ask you not to touch this, as with many other such items." Tha shopkeeper warns. "Unlike many, not a single cursebreaker has found anything out of the ordinary regarding it. In spite of that, the item has something of a history about it."

"Oh? Do tell, shopkeeper. I would be interested to hear of such things..." Though if your suspicion is correct, it would merely be the refreshing of your memory.

"I see? I will be brief. This teapot was ordered to be crafted by a powerful vampire, centuries ago." The man explains, voice losing its monotone drawl of a bored salesman and taking on the notes of an avid historian. "She used it only once, and then gave it as a gift to a countess which had been causing her some manner of minor inconvenience. This unfortunate woman died soon after, poison laced in the tea by a jealous handmaiden, with whom her husband had been having an affair. Since then, the teapot has gone on to claim the lives of no less than thirty seven owners following that countess, through accidents and through murder alike, but most often through poisonings. It may well be no more than simple coincidence, as I have already said that the cursebreakers have made multiple inspections of the item and found nothing out of the ordinary, but I count myself somewhat fortunate that the pot does not seem to consider being set upon a shelf for resale as being 'owned'..."

"... Ufufufu~" You chuckle. "There is a fate of misfortune, a doom threaded through the very being of this thing, which cannot help but taint the lives of those who would lay claim to it, twisting like a serpent in the hand to cut them short."

".... Yesss..." The shopkeeper says, his consideration of you now seeming more intense and sharp, somehow. "That is, indeed... word for word, even, the only recorded commentary of that ancient vampire regarding this item. You will forgive me my surprise, I understand that historical matters are no longer a popular topic of study, and those that set their interests towards it seem to focus only upon local dealings with the goblins..."

You smile, slightly.

"It seems, however, that that vampire disappeared from the face of the world at some point, which is something of a pity. Though it seems that is ever the way of things... unknown history lost forever in the passing of beings whose spans of existence dwarf mortal man. I am given to understand that one of her vampiric descendants still holds sway over a rather isolated and self sufficient village, concealed somewhere in the region of Flanders, to this day, but he refuses to make comment regarding inquiries of historical matters." He continues, a touch of bitterness in his voice.

The smile leaves your face.

You are familiar with this village, of course, as you are with certain others, but the mans statement does not immediately compute in your mind. You are, of course, a light eater. There has never been a situation where you were willing to put the effort forth to give the gift to another, and they in turn were willing to receive it. You would almost think there to be some mistake, and that your dear sister had sired progeny without your realization, were it not for the fact that you know full well that her own restraint is nothing near sufficient enough even now to allow another to survive long enough to rise up anew.

... It takes another moment for you to reach the vexing conclusion.

An impostor has set himself upon your coat-tails, sinking grubby claws into them in order to clamber up to a respected notoriety which he does not deserve.

---

[ ] What do you do?

[x] An imposter? Tarnishing our good name? Make him rue the day he was born.

[x] You remember this teapot. It was a good teapot. Inquire after the price.
[x] Find out more about the hamlet's location. You think you'll pay it a visit someday.

I'm thinking we should buy the teapot (or send Sakuya to do it). We could trade for it, but we can bug Patchy to give us some wizard money really soon and it would take effort to find something worth trading. Not to mention theft should be avoided where possible. It simply isn't proper.

As for going to see the vampire, I thing we should do that next time we go through the portal.

[x] You remember this teapot. It was a good teapot. Inquire after the price.
-[x] Or perhaps a trade is in order. You are quite ... knowledgable when it comes to historical matters. Perhaps you could elighten him on a historical event or two in exchange for the teapot?
[x] Find out more about the hamlet's location. You think you'll pay it a visit someday.

Knowledge is free and easy.

Also, I'm assuming we're not saying the first part of the first vote out loud?

[x] Inquire about this unkown vampire.
[x] Thank him for refreshing your memory. However, You'd like to have your teacup back.
-[x] Next stop, to Flanders.

[x] You remember this teapot. It was a good (and useful) teapot. Inquire after the price.
-[x] Or perhaps a trade is in order. You are quite ... knowledgable when it comes to historical matters. Perhaps you could elighten him on a historical event or two in exchange for the teapot?
[x] Find out more about the hamlet's location. You think you'll pay it a visit someday.
-[x] And by visit, you mean descending as an angry god. Or devil as the case may be. And by visit, no later than tomorrow is soon enough.

More teapots are always good. And yes, the enchantment (for lack of a better term) is still useful. It may not be too effective against any of your enemies in Gensokyo, but it would still affect the unwary and the weak within and without the borders.

As for the vampire, it must definitely not be allowed to continue usurping your hard earned reputation. On the other hand, it would not be particularly clever to go out on a wild goose chase. Take the time, learn as much as you can, and assault when you are refreshed and ready.

Perhaps you can make it a family outing too? Since this interloper has taken on your name and legacy, perhaps the little sister would help you make an example of him? She does so like to play, after all.

/incharacter

And on a side note, I had a flashback to Alice: Madness Returns, and those teapots there. Maybe Flandre would like to have one like that?

[x] You remember this teapot. It was a good (and useful) teapot. Inquire after the price.
-[x] Or perhaps a trade is in order. You are quite ... knowledgable when it comes to historical matters. Perhaps you could elighten him on a historical event or two in exchange for the teapot?
[x] Find out more about the hamlet's location. You think you'll pay it a visit someday.
-[x] And by visit, you mean descending as an angry god. Or devil as the case may be. And by visit, no later than tomorrow is soon enough.

>>52216
>And by visit, no later than tomorrow is soon enough.
Grr, that should be "And by someday" Oh well, the effect is still the same.
Sage for correction post.

[x] You remember this teapot. It was a good (and useful) teapot. Inquire after the price.
-[x] Or perhaps a trade is in order. You are quite ... knowledgable when it comes to historical matters. Perhaps you could elighten him on a historical event or two in exchange for the teapot?
[x] Find out more about the hamlet's location. You think you'll pay it a visit someday.
-[x] And by visit, you mean descending as an angry god. Or devil as the case may be. And by visit, no later than very soon is soon enough.

Wouldn't Remilia go visit during the night to show exactly how displeased she is? Anyway, seems like we need to either find a way to the place or bug Patchouli for a portal.

[x] Not not buy the teapot. Its fate of doom was expertly crafted, and it would be a pity to remove it just to get it back into your hands safely.
[x] Find out more about the hamlet's location. You think you'll pay it a visit someday.
- [x] And by visit, you mean descending as an angry god. Or devil as the case may be. And by visit, no later than very soon is soon enough.

>>52212 here.

The stuff the subvote specifes was supposed to be implied in the main vote. Not much difference unless we (unwisely, if you ask me) say the subvote out loud.

[x] You remember this teapot. It was a good (and useful) teapot. Inquire after the price.
-[x] Or perhaps a trade is in order. You are quite ... knowledgable when it comes to historical matters. Perhaps you could elighten him on a historical event or two in exchange for the teapot?
[x] Find out more about the hamlet's location. You think you'll pay it a visit someday.
-[x] And by visit, you mean descending as an angry god. Or devil as the case may be. And by visit, no later than very soon is soon enough.

[x] Leave the teapot for now, if we have further need of it's services we will come for it later.
-[x] Inquire as to Gossip and news on vampires both nearby and abroad, we may well find this imposters location as well as any who abuse their gift
--[x]To flanders!

[x] You remember this teapot. It was a good (and useful) teapot. Inquire after the price.
-[x] Or perhaps a trade is in order. You are quite... knowledgeable when it comes to historical matters. Perhaps you could enlighten him on a historical event or two in exchange for the teapot?
[x] Find out more about the hamlet's location. You think you'll pay it a visit someday.
-[x] And by "visit", you mean "descend upon as an angry god". Or devil as the case may be. And by "someday, you mean "very, very soon".

I can't believe I have sunk so far as to proofread votes instead of just copypasting and calling it a day.

[x] You remember this teapot. It was a good (and useful) teapot. Inquire after the price.
-[x] Or perhaps a trade is in order. You are quite ... knowledgable when it comes to historical matters. Perhaps you could elighten him on a historical event or two in exchange for the teapot?
[x] Find out more about the hamlet's location. You think you'll pay it a visit someday.
-[x] And by visit, you mean descending as an angry god. Or devil as the case may be. And by visit, no later than tomorrow is soon enough.

Any vampire that even pretends descent from us will have myriad traps. This is a visit that simply must be prepared for.

[x] You remember this teapot. It was a good (and useful) teapot. Inquire after the price.
-[x] Or perhaps a trade is in order. You are quite... knowledgeable when it comes to historical matters. Perhaps you could enlighten him on a historical event or two in exchange for the teapot?
[x] Find out more about the hamlet's location. You think you'll pay it a visit someday.
-[x] And by "visit", you mean "descend upon as an angry god". Or devil as the case may be. And by "someday", you mean "tomorrow".

Proofreading a vote is always good. I was actually planning on fixing it, but you already did. Thanks!

[x] You remember this teapot. It was a good (and useful) teapot. Inquire after the price.
-[x] Or perhaps a trade is in order. You are quite ... knowledgable when it comes to historical matters. Perhaps you could elighten him on a historical event or two in exchange for the teapot?
[x] Find out more about the hamlet's location. You think you'll pay it a visit someday.
-[x] And by visit, you mean descending as an angry god. Or devil as the case may be. And by visit, no later than tomorrow is soon enough.

[x] Not not buy the teapot. Its fate of doom was expertly crafted, and it would be a pity to remove it just to get it back into your hands safely.
[x] Find out more about the hamlet's location. You think you'll pay it a visit someday.
But no need to be hasty, it can wait.
[x]Check other wares, maybe there is something more interesting 'under the counter', as we showed ourselves 'competent'.

>>52227
>>52229

>>52216 here

Yeah, that's my fault for not proofreading before posting in the first place. It's a bit annoying to double check something that size in this box.

Perhaps I should write the response in wordpad and reread it there? Sounds a bit extreme for an anonymous reply post, but perhaps it would be the best thing to do.

[x] You remember this teapot. It was a good (and useful) teapot. Inquire after the price.
-[x] Or perhaps a trade is in order. You are quite ... knowledgable when it comes to historical matters. Perhaps you could elighten him on a historical event or two in exchange for the teapot?
[x] Find out more about the hamlet's location. You think you'll pay it a visit someday.

>>52233
It took me ages to figure this out, but you can actually resize the message box by click on the lower right corner of it and dragging.

>>52235
Huh, well whaddya know. That's what it's for. Thank ye much!

The impudent wretch cannot be allowed to continue with its miserable existence, of course.

But while you would like nothing more than to immediately go and rip it into finger-sized chunks without introduction or explanation, there is a certain etiquette to this sort of thing. A matter of form, of traditional theatrics...

You don't require directions, of course. You're perfectly familiar with this particular village, and its stronghold, having inhabited it at one point. You have to consider other matters, however. Proper procedure and form. Perhaps your dear sister would enjoy the outing? You can make it a family affair~

Still, the immediate matter is your teapot.

"How much?" Sakuya asks, following a sidelong glance her way.

"For an antique such as this..." The shopkeep says. "... I could not part with it for any less than twenty galleons. Even for a student of the histories, and I would warn you to take care in its keeping. Though perhaps whatever subtle curse it bears might break?" He finishes, what seems to be a note of honest regret in his tone.

"Ufufu... Such a paltry sum?" You say, ignoring that you think those are the gold coins, and you don't have any of those. "Perhaps instead of mere money, you will accept the gift of knowledge...?"

He looks a little interested.

"You seem to be well versed in the histories of the Scarlet Devil, unless your earlier suggestions were misleading..." He hints. "Unfortunately, very little remains in records pertaining to this vampire..."

You allow a sly, amused smile to grace your features.

"On that subject... you might consider me something of an expert." You say, dryly.

"... I suppose I will be the judge of that."

"Ufufun~" You chuckle. "To begin... That impostor you mentioned before is a charlatan and a fraud. The Scarlet Devil sired no vampires of her bloodline."

He takes a moment to suck thoughtfully at his teeth at that tidbit.

"A dangerous claim to make.... if it is false, yes, and more so if it is the truth. I cannot imagine that he would hesitate to make... arrangements, to remove such troublesome claims, in either case."

"That is a matter for me to concern myself with, is it not?" You say. "But even so, perhaps you should tell me what you know of... the Scarlet Devil, before I continue?"

"Very little, I fear." He admits regretfully. "Even the vampire's name is lost to the annals of time, it seems. It is generally understood, however, that the moniker came from her... intensely cruel nature, and the vivid, burning hue of her hair. I have a few artistic renditions, from the best guess at her physical appearance..."

Sakuya's amusement is palpable, as he fetches a few small paintings of some voluptuous woman with scarlet tresses. It seems as though it could be a passable rendition of Patchy's assistant, barring some details.

You are not amused.

"'General understanding' is, in this instance, incorrect." You say, shortly, some of your vexation shining through. "The matter of physical features had nothing to do with the epithet... though cruelty, yes~" You say, settling down. "I will explain.... The Scarlet Devil is... what could be considered a messy eater, though she did not often drink deep. It was her habit to dine in a dress of the purest white cloth... and by the time the meal had finished, it was invariably stained the scarlet patina of shed blood. As such... the Scarlet Devil, is it not so?"

Idle chatter continues for some time, and you enjoy the opportunity to subtly gloat over your history, though of course you do not reveal everything to the shopkeeper, or in fact anything of particular importance, though it is sufficiently intriguing to him that, in the end, he releases possession of the pot as you leave.

Sakuya does whatever it is that she does to things she doesn't feel like carrying about physically. You aren't particularly interested in the specifics, though you understand that in a very general sense it's 'temporarily removing it from time and space entirely' or something. It's convenient, in any case.

Hm, it's probably coming close to dinner time at this point, though there's still likely time enough for one or two more things. In any case, dinner will most certainly wait until Sakuya has returned to prepare it, unless she's been temporarily putting time on hold to run back to that tower and through to inspect proceedings in her kitchens and leave written notes to adjust this or that. Or, less amusingly to your mind, warping through time and space however she pleases.

---

[ ] What do you do?

[x] Bid farewell to the shopkeeper and return home.
[x] That shop was quite fascinating. You'll have to return someday and inspect more of its wares.
[x] Return home and get out your visiting card. It's simply impolite not to alert one's host of your arrival.

I'd go for some recon, but Remilia would totally do this.

[x] Bid farewell to the shopkeeper and return home.
[x] That shop was quite fascinating. You'll have to return someday and inspect more of its wares.
[x] Return home and get out your visiting card. It's simply impolite not to alert one's host of your arrival.
[x] Prepare a proper outfit befitting your visit and station. It simply would not do if your appearance is anything but perfect...ly devilish.

[x] Bid farewell to the shopkeeper and return home.
[x] That shop was quite fascinating. You'll have to return someday and inspect more of its wares.
[x] Return home and get out your visiting card. It's simply impolite not to alert one's host of your arrival.
[x] Prepare a proper outfit befitting your visit and station. It simply would not do if your appearance is anything but perfect...ly devilish.

I really like this Remilia.
And really can't wait to see what kind of vampire would be her "descendant".

[x] Bid farewell to the shopkeeper and return home.
[x] That shop was quite fascinating. You'll have to return someday and inspect more of its wares.
[x] Return home and get out your visiting card. It's simply impolite not to alert one's host of your arrival.
-[x] If you have a spare moment, take the time to remind the little devil in the library of her station, and that she should not have any particularly clever ideas about replacing the mistress of your mansion.
[x] Prepare a proper outfit befitting your visit and station. It simply would not do if your appearance is anything but perfect...ly devilish.

Indeed, the shopkeep has been relatively agreeable, for his type. And indeed, he was willing to sit and listen eagerly to your tales, even vague as you made them. Perhaps this society of wizards, weak and ignorant as it may be, is redeemable.

As such, you can call this visit a success. Later, when you return, you can make further, ahem, entreaties into the community. Now, it is time to retire and prepare.

Do make a point of visiting Patchy's little assistant. Whether by providence or sheer coincidence, it is her that your inaccurate picture had the greatest resemblance of. Your pride demands that you remind the devil of who holds the power in your household, and to forestall any attempts she may or not be planning to replace you.

/ic

Agreed with >>52243
This Remilia is very enjoyable. You see that she truly is her spiritual age, while there is enough of the impetuousness from her young physical age to flesh the character out. But even Borgin is interesting in this story, so good characterizations all around.

The only reason I added that subvote was because Remilia's pride would demand that any usurper (real or imagined) would be put in their place. Considering how she acted over the Blood Pops, and how she will act over He-Who-Stole-The-Devil's-Name, it sounds like something she would do.

[x] Bid farewell to the shopkeeper and return home.
[x] That shop was quite fascinating. You'll have to return someday and inspect more of its wares.
[x] Return home and get out your visiting card. It's simply impolite not to alert one's host of your arrival.
[x] Prepare a proper outfit befitting your visit and station. It simply would not do if your appearance is anything but perfect.

I really don't think Remilia would even spare the notion of Koa trying to usurp her a second thought. Not only has it spent the last several centuries in or near Patchy's library, misleading the outside world about our appearance is a horrible way to go about supplanting us.

Keep in mind, time doesn't even work like a linear thing to Koa. She could be summoned and be in multiple places at once during what we perceive as the current time line, just in different places in her own timeline.

It'd be an interesting point of inquiry at the very least, it's possible that it /IS/ Koa in that picture from a time far in her own past or far in her own future from Patchy's current summoning.

Maybe usurp was too strong of a word. I just think that Remilia would take it as an insult directed at her, and she would want to rectify it. Even if it's just by giving the devil a tongue lashing.
Yeah, it definitely was too strong. But Remilia is definitely offended by the picture, and who better to take off the sting of the insult?
(Also didn't mean to imply that I think Koa was trying to take over. Just that tempers may be too high and that our vamp might make a rash assumption)

Epileptic Trees and rampant speculation inbound!

Although, it does give me an interesting idea.
Let's say that since she's a devil, she works on a system of belief and faith similar to the gods. Now, a vampire with a bloody and terrible past, lost to the ages, has evolved, either erroneously or by design, to look like Koakuma. Since the association between Koakuma and the vampire hasn't been made yet, that belief has gone to merely a legend. However, if she was to return and announce/be deemed the Scarlet Devil, the belief and faith would be transferred to her, and directly empower her. (Let's assume that she only acts out the part of the vampire in public, to keep up the delusion)

Yeah, the idea requires a bit of insane logic to reach, but it's there. After all, Koakuma is the last person you'd expect to try and take Remilia's place. (sans Meiling and Sakuya, based on interpretation) So it would be interesting to see how that could play out.

>Keep in mind, time doesn't even work like a linear thing to Koa.
Crap, forgot to keep that in mind. It is possible then that she could be plotting in several concurrent timelines... Or this one already did usurp here and is simply biding her time, like the devil that she is. This Koakuma is definitely a lot more cunning than others.

I'm suddenly feeling paranoid. Where's Mad-Eye when you need him?

You've already left the shop behind, for now, but you probably wouldn't be averse to another stop there at some point in the future. He may yet have items of interest you have not seen.

For the moment, though, the Floo travel desposits you back in the village near Patchy's place of employment, and there is not particular issue in your return home.

Patchy is inspecting the portal as you arrive. Clearly, you left traces of your passage. No matter. You've made the arrangement, it isn't as though you have to excuse exercising your right to travel through as you please. For now, your mind is on another thing.

A visiting card must be delivered. Yes, no point in shirking the proper etiquette, and it would not do to arrive un-announced. You can have Sakuya deliver it for you, and it will be all the introduction required to alert the unfortunate interloper to your arrival.

Naturally, it will include the appropriate phrasings of mourning to imply that a funeral is soon to occur.

Though he will be quite fortunate if enough remains to be properly interred. Even so, you think... something in black, perhaps? With a slight veil. Yes, that would be appropriately thematic.

On another note, you believe that is Patchy's assistant, over there.

You need a quick word with her. She may not technically have done anything to deserve your pique, of course... but then, it's not like that sort of little detail has regularly stopped you from doing anything before.

---

You are Koakuma. Or at the very least, that's what you're generally called. Your real name is unimportant. You aren't half as magically skilled as Patchouli, and you're nowhere near the physical levels of capability the Vampires, or Meiling, can bring to bear. You get along fine as something of a mix between the two, though. Your current occupation can be summed up as a Librarian, though that isn't at all all there is to it, and it's really only while you're in Patchouli's service.

Which at this exact moment of time, you are not. Instead, you are very annoyed.

That psychotic little wench just walked up and murdered you, without warning or explanation. How rude is that? ... Well, it's not like you can die of it, there. Permanently. It's not like just about everyone important in the mansion hasn't killed you once or twice, either, though for the most part they ended up being careless accidents.

Still, ugh. And people call that one's little sister crazy and dangerous? At least with her, you have some warning if she's in one of her Moods, and you can tell that you probably shouldn't mess with her unless you want her to decide that she wants to use your spinal cord to floss her enormous teeth with.

Not so with Remilia. Just waltzes up, casual as you please and without any hint that something's wrong, bam. Gungnir. And suddenly, there's a big empty space where most of your torso used to be, thanks to the murderous little whore.

In any case, you're a Succubus. You seduce people, and steal their souls. Men, in specific, usually. There's a long list of reasons why, but in the end it tends to boil down to the fact that it's basically just easier in a number of ways. Easier to seduce, and since the natural order of things is to flow outwards, easier to tug the soul out, almost effortless if you've coaxed them into a moment of weakness.

Women are a lot harder. But they can be a lot more fun, too~

In any case, it looks like Patchouli is summoning/is going to summon/has summoned you back, since there's already a little thread just there for you to travel down and insert yourself into that facet of existence once more.

You don't really want to head back just now, though. Need to cool your head a little, or you'll end up starting trouble with that little bitch, and then she'll just kill you again, and then Patchouli'll have to summon you again, and it would just be a whole heap of annoyance for everyone involved.

There's a few other options available, though. There's... here. Oh! You remember these people. It's a long running war between them, and you remember having been summoned to direct strategy of all things, for whatever reason, for one side in response to something or another that the other either had done or was going to do, you can't recall.

... It looks like the summons is coming from the other side, and at about the same point as the other one was made. Well, that answers that, you guess~

Still, kind of a long-term break from what you were currently doing, to be honest. Maybe something likely to be shorter...

Oh, that'll do, most likely.

You cast yourself down through and around the thread, spinning about it to cascade into a 'place' and 'time', physical body erupting into position with a swirling vortex of black fire, both sets of wings fully outstretched, arms spread and opened. There's a certain sense of theatrics to this, naturally. Patchouli prefers that you remain in her uniform, but for this, you default to forming a snug bodice and skirt of a leathery material.

You spare a moment to inspect the array of mystic runes and wards set to call you forth and bind you to this spot. It's very fancy work. Lots of redundancies and extra glyphs and wards and circles that look terribly impressive, but in the strictest sense aren't actually required for the thing to work properly. It's all in order, anyway. No opportunity to just step out and wreak havoc on your hapless summoner, fun and amusing as it might be. For you. Perhaps for him, as well, for at least a little of it~

"I require... a death. I have summoned you forth from the abyss to ensure it." The cowled man rasps, in an aged voice, long beard shifting with his words.

.....

Well, okay. Not exactly what you'd expected from this, but still, excellent. You would be more than happy to take your frustrations out on someone with simple violence, too.

Some details wouldn't go amiss, though, and you have to go through the whole extended mess of agreeing to exact terms of a contract before you'll get let out of the circle.

---

[ ] What do you do?

...Koakuma Quest? And who just summoned Koakuma?

[x] Well, no choice but to do the boring part. Hear what he wants exactly, tell what you want and negiotate for some fun while you're at it and everything else.

[X] Ask who he wants you to kill and what you get in return. Also, try subtly testing the circle for weak points.

Incidental question to anyone who will answer it. Why is Koakuma so often depicted as a succubus?

[x] Well, no choice but to do the boring part. Hear what he wants exactly, tell what you want and negiotate for some fun while you're at it and everything else.
-[x] If for whatever reason they are unacceptable (or would take too long) agree anyway, and kill him instead and have that fun you wanted.

>>52254
More like use of logical deduction to give her character. Even her name is famade, you know? From her sprite, she appears like a devil. Then, what kind of devil is she? Considering she's a girl, the next deduction is then succubus.

At least that's how I see how it became the general assumption for her. Of course, no one forces you to believe this view. A writer may write her like this and another may write her otherwise.

Should ask who he is as well, maybe he'll be dumb enough to answer.

[x] Well, no choice but to do the boring part. Hear what he wants exactly, tell what you want and negiotate for some fun while you're at it.
-[x] If for whatever reason they are unacceptable (or would take too long) agree anyway, and kill him instead and have that fun you wanted.
-[x]Probe the circle gently to gauge the power of this particular magic user. It has been a while, after all.

Ouch, poor Koa. Didn't quite expect that when I suggested she be reminded of her station. Still, little Remi doesn't take those things lightly, does she?

Still, nothing much to do. Wait for the man to tell us what he wants, and see how it could us have our fun.

As for interpretation, it is that and the lack of a seducer among the residents of the SDM. First, ou've got Meiling who's become a bit of a joke character, and innocent in most depictions. Patchouli definitely doesn't have enthusiasm and health for the art, much less the proclivity. Sakuya is loyal to Remilia over everything, so she would seek out such activities on her own. Granted, she could do it if she was ordered to, but that's a different story. Remilia and Flandre, simply enough, appear too young to fill the role, and it doesn't fit their canon personalities. While all the characters could be written as such, it's easier to take Koakuma's blank slate and write it thusly.

Plus, as he said, the only think we know about Koakuma is that she's a trickster, and that she's a devil. The only two creatures she could be (off the top of my head) are either an imp or a succubus. Which one would win, especially considering we've got fairies as a minor imp substitute?

Anonymous 12/04/16(Mon)18:40 No. 52259
[x] Well, no choice but to do the boring part. Hear what he wants exactly, tell what you want and negiotate for some fun while you're at it.
-[x]Probe the circle gently to gauge the power of this particular magic user. It has been a while, after all.
She already tested the circle for weaknesses.

[x] It could really be a lot worse. That's what, the first time you got intentionally killed without cause in centuries of work? WAY better than some other summonings you could mention.
[x] Well, no choice but to do the boring part. Hear what he wants exactly, tell what you want and negiotate for some fun while you're at it.
-[x] Ask your summoner if it's true what they say about men with long beards~

Man, what. Remi just straight up killed her? Of course, there's the 'getting better' thing that came into play with Alice.

[x] Well, no choice but to do the boring part. Hear what he wants exactly, tell what you want and negiotate for some fun while you're at it.
-[x] Inquire who summoned you, whatever.
-[x] If for whatever reason they are unacceptable (or would take too long) agree anyway, and kill him instead and have that fun you wanted.
-[x]Probe the circle gently to gauge the power of this particular magic user. It has been a while, after all.

Never expected THIS development, I like it anyway.
I thought Koakuma was depicted as a succubus because someone drew her with headwings (like Morrigan from Darkstalkers) and everything snowballed from there.

>>52263
Her sprite in EoSD has the headwings (and no normal wings) but yeah, that association is part of it I'm sure.

[x] It could really be a lot worse. That's what, the first time you got intentionally killed without cause in centuries of work? WAY better than some other summonings you could mention.
[x] Well, no choice but to do the boring part. Hear what he wants exactly, tell what you want and negiotate for some fun while you're at it.
-[x] Ask your summoner if it's true what they say about men with long beards~

Demonic pacts don't work like that, you can't just break them. And this guy's good, there's no way he'd leave such a gaping hole in the agreement.

And we already looked for weakspots, and presumably would have "probed the circle" as well.

Yeah, this guy is good and intelligent, but I think we'd be curious to how strong he was instead. As far as I can tell, we observed the summoning circle meticulously, and saw that he had good technique and a lot of failsafes. But we didn't test and see how strong the enchantments were, as we are instead assuming.

I'm not expecting the circle to budge at all, but I'm sure Koa could get some feedback. This is assuming that the runes are directly related to the power of the wizard casting them, instead of the runes containing a set amount of magical power, directly related to the magic inherent in them.

Besides, we're a devil. He would expect us to make some move to break free, so we should indulge him. There's no need to keep him off balance by being surprisingly docile and obedient.

>>52266
I think it might be a better idea not to touch the barrier just in case it's set to actually harm us if we make contact with it.

>>52268

I may not have a master's degree in wizardry, but even I could tell you that setting up a summoning circle that intentionally harms whatever you summon is not the best way to get any sort of contract worked out.

My guess is; it's set up so Koa can't go outside the circle, harm the summoner or his possessions in any way, or kill herself...and that's it.

>>52264
And Official works where she cameo'd in added backwings.

[x] It could really be a lot worse. That's what, the first time you got intentionally killed without cause in centuries of work? WAY better than some other summonings you could mention.
[x] Well, no choice but to do the boring part. Hear what he wants exactly, tell what you want and negiotate for some fun while you're at it.
-[x] Make plenty of innuendo regarding the man's long beard.

People don't say anything about men with long beards.

>>52271
>[x] Make plenty of innuendo regarding the man's long beard.
Classy.

Oh I'm fairly sure that is some HP wizard (deatch muncher) that got a more than he intended due to [GAPED]
and it will bite him in the ass - or wherever Koakuma starts first.

"Who is it that has summoned me forth?" You ask, more out of simple tradition than any expectations that you'll get an answer. That beard looks suspiciously long and distinctive, after all, so you're guessing if he has one at all it's much shorter.

"That, devil, is none of your concern." He barks, as you test the power of the circle. Not bad. It could be stronger, of course, but it's more than enough to keep you restrained. It's not like this particular circle is meant to summon anything really big and nasty, after all. ... Though you might be able to crack this one by overpowering it, though there would be no point. It would leave you wiped out and exhausted from the effort and it would only take him a moment to dismiss you back to where you came from. No opportunity to that at all. Looks like you're stuck with the normal way of things.

"Speak then, mortal." You demand.

"Your target is Miriam Stocker, a muggleborn witch of little public renown and of average talent and power. You may do as you please with her, though she must die. For this, I offer you a soul."

The man twitches a gnarled wand, and candles erupt into light, shining down upon over a dozen people of wildly varying age and both genders. You see a chance.

"I may take any of my choice, from the selection before me?" You clarify, hoping that he'll slip up and say-

"Barring myself." Damn. "Yes. In addition, take the witch's soul, if you please. Though she must die... even a soulless husk, a legilimencer might peer into its mind for evidence."

"Assuage my curiosity, mortal... what has this witch done to offend you so? Where is she, and what is it that she is doing?"

"My reasons are none of your concern, devil." He snaps. "She resides in a small cottage some kilometers from Godric's Hollow, and you will know her for the thesis she is writing, which will reveal a flaw in a previously published magical theory-"

"... Your magical theory." You note, smiling as he stiffens to reveal you guessed correctly.

Ufufufu... This is why you love academics and scholars, even though they don't usually slip up the way others might. They get so delightfully intense about this sort of thing~

"... I am a fool, and my identity is revealed. You will not speak of it." He demands. "But yes. And do not believe I have not tried to be reasonable with the onerous woman. I have suggested that perhaps she should delay publication. Perhaps she would sell the discovery, for a fitting sum. Perhaps she would at the very least wait until I am dead so that I need not face the shame of seeing some muggleborn upstart overturn my most cherished work! But in vain. She will not be turned aside, and refuses to allow even a delay in her eagerness for fame and riches... and so she must die."

Well, that seems perfectly reasonable to you. The only really remaining matter is to pick your fee... Hm. Yes, you think that one. The youngest female present, despoiling her innocence would be the most delicious. Her soul, of course, would be a more difficult thing to claim, but in all respects equally worth the effort, provided you are willing to take the time.

Well, not that any of the others are bad choices. You inspect them again, thoughtfully. You might try to drive the price up more, of course, or make other offers, but that runs the risk of the summoner dismissing you and attempting to call forth someone more pliable...

---

[ ] What do you do?

>>52272
We're the succubus now. We must of course act the part.

>>52273
What the fuck is this shit? I can understand it, but it's barely recognizable as English. What did the language ever do to you to deserve this?

[x] Accept this offer.
[x] Go out into the world and amuse yourself. The contact said nothing about when she had to die, or whether you had to have a hand in it. The mortal will pass into the next life on her own.

Loophole!

[x] Accept this offer.
-[x] Take the young girl, and see if you can negotiate for a second one. If you can, pick your second favorite.
[x] Go out into the world and amuse yourself. The contact said nothing about when she had to die, or whether you had to have a hand in it. The mortal will pass into the next life on her own.
-[x] Well, you will have to check in now and then to be sure she doesn't make herself immortal.

>>52273
Oh I'm fairly sure that is some THP anon (pour gramnar) that got a different than he intended due to [BAD TYPINGED]
and it will bite us in the brain - or wherever post starts first.

[x] Accept this offer.
-[x] Take the young girl, and see if you can negotiate for a second one. If you can, pick your second favorite.
[x] Go out into the world and amuse yourself. The contact said nothing about when she had to die, or whether you had to have a hand in it. The mortal will pass into the next life on her own, or when you grow bored.
-[x] Well, you will have to check in now and then to be sure she doesn't make herself immortal.

[X] Accept the offer
[x] Go out into the world and amuse yourself. The contact said nothing about when she had to die, or whether you had to have a hand in it. The mortal will pass into the next life on her own.
-[x] Well, you will have to check in now and then to be sure she doesn't make herself immortal.
-[x] During checkups, encourage her to publish more widely. Do what you can to help.

>>52282
You guys are dicks. I'm never summoning any of you to do my bidding, that's for sure.

[x] Accept this offer.
-[x] Take the young girl, and see if you can negotiate for a second one. If you can, pick your second favorite.
[x] Go out into the world and amuse yourself. The contact said nothing about when she had to die, or whether you had to have a hand in it. The mortal will pass into the next life on her own, or when you grow bored.
-[x] Well, you will have to check in now and then to be sure she doesn't make herself immortal.

>>52283
Pfff, anyone who summons a demon and expects things to be honest and straightforward is kidding themselves.

[x] Accept this offer.
[x] Go out into the world and amuse yourself for a while. The contact said nothing about when she had to die, or whether you had to have a hand in it.
[x] Check out the witch? Maybe she'll be interesting? Maybe she could 'convince' you to not kill her (since she won't know the mortal made a mistake)?
-[x] In any case, if she has to 'die' after learning that she is a target, see if she can just pass her research to someone else who would finish it, just to screw with the mortal.

[X] Accept the offer
[x] Go out into the world and amuse yourself. The contact said nothing about when she had to die, or whether you had to have a hand in it. The mortal will pass into the next life on her own.
-[x] Well, you will have to check in now and then to be sure she doesn't make herself immortal.
-[x] During checkups, encourage her to publish more widely.

I'm curious as to whether this muggleborn is anybody of particular note. I can't recall any Miriam Stocker in HP, or general history, but the last name is similar enough to Stoker to pique my interest. Perhaps she is a relative of Bram Stoker?

[X] Accept the offer
[x] Go out into the world and amuse yourself. The contact said nothing about when she had to die, or whether you had to have a hand in it. The mortal will pass into the next life on her own.
-[x] Well, you will have to check in now and then to be sure she doesn't make herself immortal.
-[x] During checkups, encourage her to publish more widely. Do what you can to help.

Yea I'm not sure Kahi thought this one through all the way.

>>52288
I think he left in the loophole to see if we caught it. Kahi plans for tons of stuff.

[X] Accept the offer
-[x] Take the young girl, and see if you can negotiate for a second one. If you can, pick your second favorite.
[x] Go out into the world and amuse yourself. The contact said nothing about when she had to die, or whether you had to have a hand in it. The mortal will pass into the next life on her own.
-[x] Well, you will have to check in now and then to be sure she doesn't make herself immortal.
-[x] During checkups, encourage her to publish more widely. Do what you can to help.

The summoner might be waiting until everything else is squared away before issuing a deadline. There are still ways to mess with him should this happen, however.

>>52291
True, but I'd be pretty disappointed if that happens just to fence us off from an option we noticed.

Not that I don't want to screw over the guy, but anybody remember Koa only plan to be here to cool off? And I'll assume we can't go back until the deed is done.

I'm more curious about the people he "Offered for trade" were.

Just curious, but what would happen if we were ordered to kill Patchy?

>>52295
Failure if Koa wanted to try I think.

>>52295
Patchy would kill us.

>>52297
Don't call up what you can't put down and whatnot.

[x] Accept this offer.
[x] Go out into the world and amuse yourself for a while. The contact said nothing about when she had to die, or whether you had to have a hand in it.
[x] Check out the witch? Maybe she'll be interesting? Maybe she could 'convince' you to not kill her (since she won't know the mortal made a mistake)?
-[x] In any case, if she has to 'die' after learning that she is a target, see if she can just pass her research to someone else who would finish it, just to screw with the mortal.

[X] Accept the offer
-[x] Take the young girl, and see if you can negotiate for a second one. If you can, pick your second favorite.
-[x] Note that he has made two requests of you, after all.
[x] Go out into the world and amuse yourself. The contact said nothing about when she had to die, or whether you had to have a hand in it. The mortal will pass into the next life on her own.
-[x] Well, you will have to check in now and then to be sure she doesn't try to make herself immortal.
-[x] During checkups, encourage her to publish more widely. Do what you can to help.

Also remember that the demon world is more or less timeless (from our perspective), so Koa can take as long as she wants to "cool off" and still respond to Patchy's summon without a perceivable delay... Meaning there may actually be two of her around for the rest of the story...

[X] Accept the offer
-[x] Take the young girl, and see if you can negotiate for a second one. If you can, pick your second favorite.
-[x] Note that he has made two requests of you, after all.
[x] Go out into the world and amuse yourself. The contact said nothing about when she had to die, or whether you had to have a hand in it. The mortal will pass into the next life on her own.
-[x] Well, you will have to check in now and then to be sure she doesn't try to make herself immortal.
-[x] During checkups, encourage her to publish more widely. Do what you can to help.
-[X] But see if she will try and convince you not to first.

[x] Accept the offer.
[x] Go out into the world and amuse yourself. The contact said nothing about when she had to die, or whether you had to have a hand in it. The mortal will pass into the next life on her own.
-[x] Well, you will have to check in now and then to be sure she doesn't make herself immortal.
-[x] During checkups, encourage her to publish more widely. Do what you can to help.

Well, this will either fail, and we'll have to go after some promising new wizard, or we'll get away with it, and see how decent Koakuma's trollface is.

>-[x] During checkups, encourage her to publish more widely. Do what you can to help.

Wouldn't that go directly against the reason for the contract to even exist? Sure, he wants her dead, but there is a reason for that wish, which is the real motive for the contract to exist.

[X] Accept the offer
-[x] Take the young girl, and see if you can negotiate for a second one. If you can, pick your second favorite.
[x] Go out into the world and amuse yourself. The contact said nothing about when she had to die, or whether you had to have a hand in it. The mortal will pass into the next life on her own.
-[x] Well, you will have to check in now and then to be sure she doesn't make herself immortal.
-[x] During checkups, encourage her to publish more widely. Do what you can to help.
[x] As for what to do, first obtain the innocence and soul of the people you got. After that, you've heard lots of good things about France.

It would be perfect if this turned out to be be at some point between the disappearance of the Scarlet Devil and the present day, and we end up getting a portrait made...

>>52304
I kinda figured that at some point in this new KoaKwest I'd have to post a [x] pretend your a vampire and drain their blood vote.

>>52303
When making deals with a devil, you get what you ask for, in some form, not what you want. You can try to work around it by being more specific, but that only means that it's slightly harder for your contract partner to mess around. Of course, some devils might actually do what you mean anyway, because they are really nice, or just because it's good business.

"This offer is... acceptable enough." You say, concealing as best you can the vast loophole left in the current terms. "But I will take two of the souls, and in exchange the woman will die. If you agree, you may release me, and I will go about my business, mortal."

"Do I look like such a fool?" He says, seeming honestly curious. "Inside my bindings you rest, and inside my bindings you will remain, until I am satisfied with the terms. I have no intention of becoming a cautionary tale for future diabolists."

.... Tch.

"One can always hope. And of course... I am all but obligated to make the attempt." You say, soothingly, still looking for a way to get the better of this fellow but seeing no reason to make this a matter of mutual hostility.

"Harrumph." He grumbles. "And you are a greedy beast as well. It is of no consequence, however. The assembled are those who will not be missed... vagabonds, orphans, drifters and outlaws. Two vanishing will pass with as little incident as one. Now then."

He coughs into his fist, seeming to arrange his thoughts.

"The terms are as such. First, that you will not, through deliberate action or inaction, oppose, subvert, or evade my commands given within these terms. Second, that you shall neither reveal my identity, through action or inaction, and nor will you direct attention to my door, or in any way attempt to bring harm to my person, my public image, my financial dealings, or my intellectual studies. Third, that you will cause the death of Miriam Stocker, through means either direct or indirect, as you please, so long as she dies by your hand, no evidence is left to either implicate myself or make obvious your own nature, and she does not live long enough to publish the thesis she is preparing. Fourth, in repayment for these services rendered, you will recieve your choice of, yes, two souls, from any of those presently gathered save my own, to be received following your success in the task given. Prior to this point, they will remain in my possession... consider it additional incentive to be efficient about your business."

Hm, he does seem to have been thorough about it, there. Well, not so thorough as Patchouli, of course. .... Though you doubt that he could have been, the first time you were summoned to her service, she kept you sitting in her circle for three weeks going through mountains of carefully specified and incredibly specific clauses and counterclauses, detailing what seemed to be every possible nuance to every conceivable situation, and a very great deal which were scarcely imaginable. You don't think that even some of the really nasty and twisty minded sort out there could find a way to slip through the net.

Still, as humans went, pretty good. You'll have to think, if there's a loophole, and whether you want to actually exploit it, if so. If the opportunity is just too good, of course, that's one thing, but screw too many summoners over and eventually you end up finding yourself with nobody willing to summon you at all. Well, in any case, it seems like he's made his intended contract clear.

.... Actually, you can already see a little one he missed~

---

[ ] What do you do?

Well, there's the option of killing her just before the matter is published. That hardly seems worth the bother, though.

Let's think more carefully about this.

[x] Accept the contract.
[x] Advise Miriam Stocker to change her name, or infiltrate a place of government and change it for her, thus causing the death of Miriam Stocker. That a Mariam Stocker is born at the same moment is not part of your contract.
[x] While you have to put off getting those two souls, you'll be free to get plenty others while roaming the world.

[x] Accept the contract.
[x] Advise Miriam Stocker to change her name, or infiltrate a place of government and change it for her, thus causing the death of Miriam Stocker. That a Mariam Stocker is born at the same moment is not part of your contract.
[x] While you have to put off getting those two souls, you'll be free to get plenty others while roaming the world.

[x] Accept the contract.
[x] Go have some fun around before getting any info or looking for the target.

Why are you guys so intent to letting the woman live?

>[x] Advise Miriam Stocker to change her name, or infiltrate a place of government and change it for her, thus causing the death of Miriam Stocker. That a Mariam Stocker is born at the same moment is not part of your contract.

That's stupid. He wants more than just the death of a "Miriam Stocker", he wants the death of the woman writing a thesis that will bring shame to him, and thus, to avoid said thesis to be published.

>>52313
On the contrary:
>you will cause the death of Miriam Stocker [...] does not live long enough to publish the thesis she is preparing.
The contract only applies to people named Miriam Stocker who are writing theses. Once the name change happens, the thesis will no longer be the thesis being prepared by the she that is Miriam Stocker, but instead the thesis being prepared by the she that is Mariam Stocker.

[x] Accept the contract.
[x] Advise Miriam Stocker to change her name, or infiltrate a place of government and change it for her, thus causing the death of Miriam Stocker. That a Mariam Stocker is born at the same moment is not part of your contract.
[x] While you have to put off getting those two souls, you'll be free to get plenty others while roaming the world.

>>52315

Advising Miriam Stocker to change her name would fall squarely under opposing his will.

>>52316
Better yet...

[X] Accept the contract.
[X] Leave. Wander around for a while and ascertain your surroundings and time period.
[X] Locate the human Miriam Stocker and warn her that she's made enemies who are trying to kill her with devils. It's not our fault if she investigates.
[X] Create a female homunculus, or a golem if a homunculus is implausible.
[X] Name it Miriam Stocker, and instruct it to write the thesis "mortals are stupid".
[X] With the intent to publish this thesis, begin copying down the first half of it, except kill the homunculus or golem without completing it.
[X] According to all the commands in the contract, killing Miriam Stocker with your own hands before her thesis gets published has been accomplished.

Destroying a golem might not be considered killing it since it's not alive. Homunculi are alive, so...

>>52316
Your weak link is this:
>kill/death
>By definition, neither kill nor death actually require a living organism.

Actually:
Kill: To deprive of life
Death: The act of dying; termination of life

>>52319
Can she create homunculous? If she can, that post is good to go.

We can't create humunculi, as far as I know. There's an equivalent method, though.

[x] Accept the contract.
[x] Since you're getting two souls, you might as well go the extra mile and kill her twice.
-[x] Maybe after a vacation in France.
[x] Advise Miriam Stocker to change her name, or infiltrate a place of government and change it for her, thus causing the death of Miriam Stocker. That a Mariam Stocker is born at the same moment is not part of your contract.
[x] Get a female puppy, name it Miriam Stocker, and put ink on its paws and have it walk upon a parchment. End its life before it can complete its insightful thesis, "Bark Barkbark Bark Barkbarkbark".
-[x] If desired, replace puppy with some other animal.

Neither of these go against the contract. These each kill Miriam Stocker before she can complete her thesis.

>>52320

Those are only one definition of the words. since he did not specify the definition he wanted, I used these ones;

Death : the passing or destruction of something inanimate <the death of vaudeville>

Kill : to destroy the vital or essential quality of<killed the pain with drugs>

>>52322

Why can't we? Doesn't seem very hard.

>>52316 here. Chaningg to the superior;

[X] Accept the contract.
[X] Leave. Wander around for a while and ascertain your surroundings and time period.
[X] Create a female homunculus, or a golem if a homunculus is implausible.
[X] Name it Miriam Stocker, and instruct it to write the thesis "mortals are stupid".
[X] With the intent to publish this thesis, begin copying down the first half of it, except kill the homunculus or golem without completing it.
[X] According to all the commands in the contract, killing Miriam Stocker with your own hands before her thesis gets published has been accomplished.

>>52320
Well, technically he's correct:
>to destroy; do away with; extinguish: His response killed our hopes.

But we can do this without getting into the definition of kill, just use a dog. Or another type of animal, if you prefer not to kill dogs.

The funny thing is, it's totally IC to be dickish right now, because guess what? We happen to be a little pissed off right now *anyway*.

You know, while this is all well and good, have we considered that this is thesis could be something we don't want published ourselves? While I dislike this wizard as much as the next, I'd still rather find out what we would be helping this girl with before acting out in her favor.

[X] Accept the contract.
[X] Leave. Wander around for a while and ascertain your surroundings and time period.
-[x] Generally have fun. You're supposed to hide your nature, so perhaps you should masquerade as a vampire?
-[x] And France has always been fun. Except that one time in the 2360s. Nasty business.
[X] Create a female homunculus. Name it Miriam Stocker, and instruct it to write the thesis "mortals are stupid". Kill the homunculus before it is finished.
-[x] If a homunculus is impossible, get a female puppy, name it Miriam Stocker, and put ink on its paws and have it walk upon a parchment. End its life before it can complete its insightful thesis, "Bark Barkbark Bark Barkbarkbark".
[X] With the intent to publish this thesis, begin copying down the first half of it, except kill the homunculus or golem without completing it.
[X] According to all the commands in the contract, killing Miriam Stocker with your own hands before her thesis gets published has been accomplished.

I don't know if we can really intend to publish something like that. Better to kill it before it's finished, the thesis still can't be published and it's less wonky regarding fulfillment.

This wizard is dumb...since not harming him or his possessions is part of the contract, Koaa can kill him right after she completes the contract and revives her souls.

He really should have specified that the not killing him part still applies after the contract is completed. Not that Koa honestly has an incentive to kill him though, since he does seem to be a competent summoner, even if he would make the world's shittiest lawyer.

>>52328
>>52322

"Bark Barkbark Bark Barkbarkbark" fits none of the definitions of "thesis" I can find, and as such, is not a thesis. Killing a dog walking on paper would not complete the contract.

>>52324
>Those are only one definition of the words. since he did not specify the definition he wanted, I used these ones;
Good point. Intent doesn't matter shit in this type of contracts

>>52329
Didn't even think of that... It's rather hilarious. We could take all of the souls for ourselves, in that case. And we didn't even need to negotiate for the extra one. Such as we did.

But hearing some of the thoughts, I had an epileptic trees moment. We were talking about changing the name of Stocker, so that she would be in essence 'killed' I can't remember if this is canon or fanon, but I've heard that Remilia is able to change the names of people, in order to affect their fate. Seeing how we're ticked off at her, I don't see us actually going out of the way to seek her help.

However, consider that there is one human that works for Remilia, and has nearly magical powers, and uses a focus. And, again, can't remember if this was fanon or canon, she had her name changed to her current one. So, thus, we might in this timeline be sent to kill Sakuya, before she actually becomes her.

Oh, this is probably a dumb idea, but I thought I'd throw it out. It would be amusing if this was actually the case, though.

>First, that you will not, through deliberate action or inaction, oppose, subvert, or evade my commands given within these terms.

So we can't deliberately oppose his given commands whether it be through action or inaction. That means Koakoma can't do something which can be construed as

>Second, that you shall neither reveal my identity, through action or inaction, and nor will you direct attention to my door, or in any way attempt to bring harm to my person, my public image, my financial dealings, or my intellectual studies.

That rules out alerting her by any means or allowing anyone to bring harm to his public image and financial dealings. So we can't actually allow for Stoker or anyone we know of whose thesis being published will discredit the contractor.

>Third, that you will cause the death of Miriam Stocker, through means either direct or indirect, as you please, so long as she dies by your hand, no evidence is left to either implicate myself or make obvious your own nature, and she does not live long enough to publish the thesis she is preparing.

As we noticed before, it was never stated which Miriam Stocker we had to kill; only that the one we target is writing a thesis.

>Fourth, in repayment for these services rendered, you will recieve your choice of, yes, two souls, from any of those presently gathered save my own, to be received following your success in the task given.

We only get our two souls once we kill our Miriam Stocker before she could publish her thesis

So now that I got the contract out of the way, we can discuss what we want to do. Since the subject of our ire is the Scarlet Devil, let's use that title for when people wish to learn our name. We will act completely like a vampire to anyone except our contractor. We will also kill Miriam Stocker and implicate her death to the Scarlet Devil. Since the Scarlet Devil is a vampire with no links or relations to our contractor or demons, it would count as implicating our contractor or letting people know a demon did the attack. While and after we finished our task, we can do even more things as the Scarlet Devil. We'll make her pay for spearing us.

[x] Accept the contract
[x] For all intents and purposes except toward your contractor, you are now the Scarlet Devil, the vampire from Flanders who is totally not a demon.
[x] You shall kill Miriam Stocker as the Scarlet Devil and implicate the death of the witch toward the vampire.
[x] Have fun acting out as a vampire. You do need to vent.
[x] Collect the souls when you kill Miriam Stocker.

[X] Accept the contract.
[X] Leave. Wander around for a while and ascertain your surroundings and time period.
-[x] Generally have fun. You're supposed to hide your nature, so perhaps you should masquerade as a vampire?
-[x] And France has always been fun. Except that one time in the 2360s. Nasty business.
[X] Create a female homunculus. Name it Miriam Stocker, and instruct it to write the thesis "mortals are stupid". Kill the homunculus before it is finished.
-[x] If a homunculus is impossible, get a female puppy, name it Miriam Stocker, and put ink on its paws and have it walk upon a parchment. End its life before it can complete its insightful thesis, "Bark Barkbark Bark Barkbarkbark".
[X] With the intent to publish this thesis, begin copying down the first half of it, except kill the homunculus or golem without completing it.
[X] According to all the commands in the contract, killing Miriam Stocker with your own hands before her thesis gets published has been accomplished.

Someone please explain to me why do you want to save the woman and screw the summoner up? He summoned Koa, he will pay her, she/us agreed to do the job. Yet, you all want to breach the contract and save the woman. Why?

>>52334
>only that the one we target is writing a thesis.

The thesis has been specified. It's not just "any" thesis, but "the" thesis that will undo the summoner's work and ruin him.

Guys...it's likely this will backfire on you all. It's won't be the first time I've seen Anonymous make a stupid decision then get punished HORRIBLY when it doesn't go the way they want.

Just warning.

>>52336

I'm >>52334
I really don't want to screw up our contractor since that would be bad business and we have no ill feelings toward the man. I agree with you on that. Instead, we should be going out of our way to steal the title of the Scarlet Devil. Besides, I like the concept that Remilia is her own cause of someone stealing her title should Koakoma be summoned at the right time.

>>52337

His exact words were;

>you will know her for the thesis she is writing, which will reveal a flaw in a previously published magical theory

"Mortals are stupid" if published would reveal a flaw in pretty much every previously published magical theory created by a mortal including the "one that would ruin him" the summoner alluded to.

So even by your logic, the golem plan still completes the contract nicely.

>>52338
I realize you're much smarter than us, but please deign to tell us how this course of action could end any worse than death or wasted time, which isn't a problem for us at the moment. Additionally, you're apparently the author in disguise since you seem to know that this will "punish us horribly".

>>52337
The contract specifies "the thesis [Miriam Stocker] is preparing", not the one that will ruin him.

>>52336
It's our duty as a demon to try to subvert the contact.

>>52310 here, changing vote.
[X] Accept the contract.
[X] Leave. Wander around for a while and ascertain your surroundings and time period.
-[x] Generally have fun. You're supposed to hide your nature, so perhaps you should masquerade as a vampire?
-[x] And France has always been fun. Except that one time in the 2360s. Nasty business.
[x] Since you're getting two souls, you might as well go the extra mile and kill her twice.
[x] Advise Miriam Stocker to change her name, or infiltrate a place of government and change it for her, thus causing the death of Miriam Stocker. That a Mariam Stocker is born at the same moment is not part of your contract.
[X] Create a female homunculus. Name it Miriam Stocker, and instruct it to write the thesis "mortals are stupid". Kill the homunculus before it is finished.
-[x] If a homunculus is impossible, get a female puppy, name it Miriam Stocker, and put ink on its paws and have it walk upon a parchment. End its life before it can complete its insightful thesis, "Bark Barkbark Bark Barkbarkbark".
[X] According to all the commands in the contract, killing Miriam Stocker with your own hands before her thesis gets published has been accomplished.

>>52336

If i was a demon, I would be pretty pissed if some wizard tried to bind me with a half-assed contract. Koa said Patchy's contact took 3 weeks to recite, so I would honestly expect at least at least a few hours of contract reciting. Anything less would just be plain insulting.

>>52342
Well, Patchouli is Patchouli. And remember Koa mentioned that many of the conditions were so outlandish she hadn't even considered them.

But still, I like the idea of implicating Remilia. However, I also don't want to go along what this incompetent baffoon of a wizard wants us to do. So, how can we blame Remilia, while at the same time keeping her alive?

Probably having our cake and eating it too, but still.

[x] Accept the contract.
[x] Find Miriam Stocker and steal her thesis.
[x] Publish her thesis under your summoner's name.
[x] Cause Miriam Stocker to contract some kind of diseas that would kill her after many years.
[x] Harvest your own souls.

[X] Accept the contract.
[X] Leave. Wander around for a while and ascertain your surroundings and time period.
-[x] Generally have fun. You're supposed to hide your nature, so perhaps you should masquerade as a vampire?
-[x] And France has always been fun. Except that one time in the 2360s. Nasty business.
[x] Since you're getting two souls, you might as well go the extra mile and kill her twice.
[x] Advise Miriam Stocker to change her name, or infiltrate a place of government and change it for her, thus causing the death of Miriam Stocker. That a Mariam Stocker is born at the same moment is not part of your contract.
[X] Create a female homunculus. Name it Miriam Stocker, and instruct it to write the thesis "mortals are stupid". Kill the homunculus before it is finished.
-[x] If a homunculus is impossible, get a female puppy, name it Miriam Stocker, and put ink on its paws and have it walk upon a parchment. End its life before it can complete its insightful thesis, "Bark Barkbark Bark Barkbarkbark".
[X] According to all the commands in the contract, killing Miriam Stocker with your own hands before her thesis gets published has been accomplished.

Doing it twice will actually help us complete the contract in case one of the methods is a no-go.

>>52334

>So now that I got the contract out of the way, we can discuss what we want to do. Since the subject of our ire is the Scarlet Devil, let's use that title for when people wish to learn our name. We will act completely like a vampire to anyone except our contractor. We will also kill Miriam Stocker and implicate her death to the Scarlet Devil. Since the Scarlet Devil is a vampire with no links or relations to our contractor or demons, it would count as implicating our contractor or letting people know a demon did the attack. While and after we finished our task, we can do even more things as the Scarlet Devil. We'll make her pay for spearing us.

Problems. Touhou-style winged vampires are a subspecies of devil (literally, akuma), and B) Koakuma is also a devil. (Demons are mamodo and originate from Makai.) Therefore, masquerading as the Scarlet Devil would make obvious our nature, violating part of the contract:

>no evidence is left to either implicate myself or make obvious your own nature

[X] Accept the contract.
[X] Leave. Wander around for a while and ascertain your surroundings and time period.
-[x] Generally have fun. You're supposed to hide your nature, so perhaps you should masquerade as a vampire?
-[x] And France has always been fun. Except that one time in the 2360s. Nasty business.
[x] Since you're getting two souls, you might as well go the extra mile and kill her twice.
[x] Advise Miriam Stocker to change her name, or infiltrate a place of government and change it for her, thus causing the death of Miriam Stocker. That a Mariam Stocker is born at the same moment is not part of your contract.
[X] Create a female homunculus. Name it Miriam Stocker, and instruct it to write the thesis "mortals are stupid". Kill the homunculus before it is finished.
-[x] If a homunculus is impossible, get a female puppy, name it Miriam Stocker, and put ink on its paws and have it walk upon a parchment. End its life before it can complete its insightful thesis, "Bark Barkbark Bark Barkbarkbark".
[X] According to all the commands in the contract, killing Miriam Stocker with your own hands before her thesis gets published has been accomplished.
>>52336
We aren't really saving her. The way I see it, we're screwing both sides over. First, the summoner is screwed because basically he fails. Yet the woman is screwed as if the man is desperate enough to summon a demon for an assassination, he has backup plans and probably will lash out at her once he realizes he's been had. Lose-lose for pesky humans, win-win for us.

[x] Accept the contract
[x] For all intents and purposes except toward your contractor, you are now the Scarlet Devil, the vampire from Flanders who is totally not a demon.
[x] You shall kill Miriam Stocker as the Scarlet Devil and implicate the death of the witch toward the vampire.
[x] Have fun acting out as a vampire. You do need to vent.
[x] Collect the souls when you kill Miriam Stocker.

Frankly this strikes me as more fun than going out of our way to keep this woman alive.

>>52347
I think you're taking that line of thought too far. In western culture vampires are not considered devils and we are in England. Either way making it look like a vampire killed her is unlikely to make anyone think a summoned devil (or specifically what is essentially a succubus) is the culprit.
I think implicating a vampire is sufficiently different from reality to easily bypass that clause.

>>52350

new thread.