literally whomst'd've'ly'll

A good question, one I've asked to little use.

Even so I'll share what little info I've gotten out of her in the hopes that it shall prove useful to those among you: Kana Anaberal is a poltergeist, her features are as shown on the image and despite the fact that she has been dead for some years now, Anaberal and I are kindred spirits, and by that I mean she is a spirit and I hate her.

We have nothing in common, she was a part of a “Great Society” and I think fire bombing society is great. The only time she stops yelling is when I post these images.

To display her terrible monstrosity, she strives on the attention given and again any aid given would be massively appreciated in disposing of her.

House of Leaves called, it wants its schizoposting back

I appreciate you literary reference and commend your cultural knowledge. There aren't many I know who knew of that book and my interest in you grows as a result.

Sadly, I am not here to make friends. Nor am I imagining things.

True, It is only when I am alone when the ghost of Kana Anaberal howls her undead demands at me. They are usually of an impossible nature, something she refuses to acknowledge, and generally involves the death of an Scientist that I have no way to access or communicate with . The posting of these images are the one thing that I am physically able to do for her. It is my ultimate hope that she will “pass on” once enough time has passed or the proper method found.

In the meantime, I am stroking her ego in order to live as long as possible.
Nothing else seems to console this illegal citizen. The bastard.

You may not believe my words, you may even shrug at them but I ask for you to at least to amuse the possibility of this situation and how to properly remedy it. Help me in whatever sarcastic tone you desire.

No answer it seems, a shame but not an unexpected one.

Either way it's far too late right now, as in the time zone and so I must the small moment of peace offered to me during the night to procure myself a healthy nap.

I can only hope that tomorrow there will be more fruitful answers, goodnight people of thp. I shall send an update in the morn if I haven't been killed in my sleep.

No image this time, since she isn't watching. Though even if she is, she's too dumb to bother reading the text...unless she can't read English at all? A mystery for certain.

Goodnight for real now.

>>25168
>Kana Anaberal is a poltergeist
>she has been dead for some years now
Poltergeists are psychic constructs, not departed spirits. It’s possible she was created in the image of someone now among the dead, but if she’s truly a poltergeist she is not, herself, deceased.

Just drop her off at the shrine; I'm sure Reimu'd be happy to have the company.

Forgive my tardyness, my sleep schedule has become a roullette wheel due to a certain individual.

“You really should be more grateful” is all she says to me after weeks of me losing sleep and mental torment. Every time I drop my pen the ghost (correction: Poltergeist) of Anaberal starts rattling chains, dishes and whatever object can make an annoying noise in my home. She wants these pictures posted and any time not spent doing this is an insult to her. “You could have been haunted by a Bake Bake.” I don’t know what a Bake Bake but I suspect it'd make a better haunting partner.

Either way I'm not sure if ghostly pedantics will help me resolve this issue in any way but if it pleases you then I shall refer to her as an Poltergeist only from now on. Coincidentally do you know how to dispose of one?

>>25177

Please explain further which shrine you are referring to, if you meant the Hakurei Shrine then I'm afraid to say I've got no idea where that is or even how to end up in Gensokyo for that matter. Assuming it's even real for that matter but at this point I'm willing to give a try at litteraly anything to fix this dillema.

Additionally, who's the purple haired girl? I'm fairly certain that the Hakurei has brown hair if my recently acquired touhou knowdledge is to say anything.

Finally, I do have some good news. An friend of mine has contacted me today because today is unique.

It's Pokesunday! And so there will be a party held this evening with a bunch of drinks and you know the usual friendly mingling everyone tends to do.

Seeing how Anaberal does not bother me when I'm surrounded by many I will take this opportunity to rest and regain some of my strenght and attempt to communicate with the religouis among them.

I will send the results tommorow and again thank you for your answers. Even the tiniest one is fine.

Correction: I meant phone not pen, I'm not sure what has that lead to that miss typing but frankly speaking that'd be one silly image: Imagine such a...

What in the heck am I talking about? It doesn't matter, everything will be fine and I'll see you all later.

Have you tried talking it out? Surely a compromise can be made until you find a way to secretly get rid of her.

>>25180

No.

can't say more than that right now, can't look anti-social with so many people around nor do I want my friends to know I frequent this site.

More details will come later, now I just need to find a way to get one of those catholic girls to give me some holy water or whatever other holy relics people have these days.

See ya'll later.

Morning has come, and like the sun has rising so has my hope.
Is what I would say if yesterday had brought any sort of positive resolution.

But to answer your question of before, cooperation and peaceful living with the Poltergeist of Anaberal has proven impossible despite my former good intentions.

In fact during an ill attempt at bonding with the Poltergeist of Anaberal I had brought up the only thing we have in common; an artistic soul. Before Anaberal has come to haunt me, she had made over 17,000 masterful hauntings in the abodes of others, her interest in causing noise and misery are seen as a soulful, honest, and timeless profession that she prides on being an expert off. She took one look at my apartment, specifically the fact that it's a new building that connects to a bunch of other ones as well and seemed overjoyed for some reason.

Naturally I foolishly asked her what she's so happy about.

After a long pause her lips parted as if to say something, she let this futility pass. Suddenly: “THE HOWLING MADNESS!” she bellowed before laughing once more, her voice resounding everywhere at once as plates were thrown around.

If you've paid attention, then you would know she is a fan of vandalism.
Specifically objects that I'm in the middle of using like my game-cube just 2 days ago.
The only exceptions being my phone and computer cause otherwise no images could be sent.
I wonder if I threatened suicide, would she leave my tv intact or would she encourage the fact?
I'm starting to suffer from a lack of good comedies to watch, I may even purchase Netflix.

To this day, she seems fully convinced that this "Howling Madness" can be found somewhere nearby and to this day I do not see how this relates to haunting me.
Perhaps I am but a side project to distract her until the real deal begins, if so that would be a proper description of our relationship: That of bully and victim.

Either way I'd rather not talk more about her than I need to, time is off the essence and I'm not certain if I could tolerate one more week with her.

Also if you wonder, the party did not go so well. Despite my best attempt at appearing charismatic, the girls who were there were somehow weirded out by my attempts at offering them money for their holy water. Before I could change the offer to having them bless my water instead, their boyfriends appeared.

I am no longer invited at my friend parties, to no fault of my own. Also how come they had boyfriends anyway? Doesn't god own all those virgin bussies or what?

It doesn't matter, but if anyone would like to help then I'd massively appreciate if you could tell me the recipe on how to make holy water oneself or if it's simpler where one could buy it online for a cheap price and fast delivery.

That said, I have to go once more now. I'm going to visit one of those "Let's say hi to each other" job meetings for my third part time job. The constant damages caused by the Poltergeist of Anaberal have a quick way of burning through my pockets. I can only hope she'll stop someday.

I know she won't, the kooky bitch. But a person can dream.

Okay, I've got good news and bad news.

The good news is that my job meeting was a complete success, though the details were a bit vague I've obtained myself a spot as the cameraman for a duo of famous "Ghost/Demon Hunters" or something along those lines.

It's a sketchy title to be sure and there's a clause that says they won't cover any potential injuries or risk of death, but the money is good so frankly I couldn't care less if my employers are a Japanese priest some red haired cosplayer. On that note I forgot to ask their names but frankly who gives a carbon these days?

Either way, I've been paid half my gig in advance already and will get the next this evening if I follow them into an abandoned underground railway with my camera in tow. They believe they would gain more exposure if a successful exorcism were recorded on camera, exorcism they say as they believe some creature might be responsible for the rumours of disappearances in there.

I doubt in both this creature's existence and the fact that anyone might watch an amateur show about ghosts in this day and age. But money is money and if they are somehow successful...

Well then, I'd have the prime opportunity to hire some legitimate ghost hunters now, don't I?

So that's my plan for today. It's an idea that could not possibly go wrong.

There's only one problem though: Aka the bad news.
The camera I've boasted off is inside my house, it's a state-of-the-art piece of technology.
I am currently outside of my house, but the door won't open no matter how many times I try.

The culprit of my current issue is laughing right behind the door. Once more the Poltergeist of Anaberal has come to inconvenience me at the worst possible moment. But that is not all, in fact she refuses to let me enter except for one condition: "If you want to enter so badly, then give me an offering worthy of a lady of my stature!" her voice brims with mischievous mirth, knowing she's requesting something unreasonable but feeling satisfaction in knowing that if I do not cooperate then I cannot enter my abode anymore.

If someone knows of a way to open a door (behold the image) such as this, then I would be all ears. If that's not possible then I'd need to think about what a gift would be that's worthy of her.

But please consider the latter as a last resort, I'd hate to fuel her ego anymore than need be and I fear she might make even more demands such as these if I amuse her one too many times.

>>25185
>some red haired cosplayer
What cosplay?

That aside, if the door is being held shut by her powers no standard method of non-destructive entry is gonna work. I have a gut feeling she’ll appreciate a simple noisemaker, though, given her nature as a poltergeist.

[x] jump in the lake

>>25188

I can see how that choice is a recurring meme or a funny joke to you but that doesn't really help me in any way. Please avoid adding more of those in the future. That's all I ask of you; I value and respect the time you take to read this so please do the same for me. The mere fact that I'm posting and seeking help on an online board should be enough of a sign on how burned out and out of options I am. Thanks in advance.

>>25187

To answer your question, the cosplayer (Will just call her this until her name is known) wore what looked a flamboyant priestess kind of guise. Red robes with overly pretty patterns, flowing red hair made as long as possible, a bunch of antlers like horns on her head and crimson red eyes. The whole appearance gave me demon like vibe as a contrast to the white and blue robed male priest. I believe they're going for a hunter and beast kind of theme or something weebish like that, not that I have anything against their dress code, but it honestly makes me wonder if I'm not about to follow some rich chuunibyous in what's most likely going to be some hidden repose for the homeless and crackheads. With recent my luck that could very well happen, but goddamit I'm a poor bitch that needs their money so whether there's a creature or just a bunch of junkies down there doesn't matter at all!

On that matter, I'm rather surprised that they've given me half of the money in advance in the first place. Has the notion that I simply wouldn't appear afterwards not come to them since they've already paid me? Their faith in random strangers sure is something. Perhaps they've got that much money to throw away? Oh, well I'll show up regardless. So, they're lucky this time.

Snark aside, I do have to personally thank you. For I followed your advice and have managed to fool the Poltergeist of Anaberal into believing that the Vuvuzela that I've purchased was in fact an extremely rare instrument from a foreign country rather than it being a cheap and fancy looking toy bought from a store. A gift very fitting for her stature as wanted.

She's allowed me entry again after barely half an hour and hasn't even done anything since then. That is, she hasn't done anything else but blare the instrument, giggle for a few seconds, and then blare the instrument again somewhere in the house. She's so distracted that she isn't even glaring into my back as I'm typing this so that's one hell of an achievement.

I can only hope that this infatuation with the instrument will keep her in the harmless state she's currently in. I'd say she doesn't look that bad when she's all relaxed and happy like this but that would be a massive lie as I hate her with my everything.

She eats my food, personally insults me, and destroys my stuff. Without even paying the damn rent. But I'm not here to ramble, in fact I should go out soon since the whole camera gig is going to happen in around 2 hours from now. The location's rather close to my house so that's quite convenient for I fear the day that the Poltergeist of Anaberal crashes any vehicle I find myself in for the lolz. Hence I'm currently stuck in using foot-fuelled transport. It's safer for me and everyone else.

Either way, I'll be sure to keep you updated on the gig once I'm able to do so. Thank you for the aid and until later.

>>25189
This might seem like a bit of a strange question, but have you ever seen the two of them together in the same room?

[x] call for Tewi

>>25191

Again, please do not make votes like these. I'm aware of the phenomenon in which one is more tempted to do something when told they shouldn't. But I'm certain that you're mature enough to understand that there are occasions for jokes and occasions for none of them. This is not the joking occasion, so stop.

>>25190

The interview has been done by them separately, in other words I have only spoken with each of them one at a time. So uh, yes, I have not seen the two together in the same room or outside of it.

Coincidentally, I'm currently packing my things and hoping that one of my friends could harbour me for a few days while the police is handling the.... some stuff that could have been prevented in the railways.

Turns out their definition of exorcism was far more different than what the media shows it as.
And though I did not encourage their actions, I did not move to prevent it so I may count as an accomplice. Seeing how I believe myself to be too young for jail and how I don't want the hunter duo to know I've been a snitch; I'm going to do my best to hide until the heat has passed over.

The least I could do was give an anonymous tip to the police, I hope that was the right thing to do.

Now that I think about it. I'm not certain if the Priest lad is aware of what has happened since I’ve only accompanied the Cosplayer last evening. If so, then I must warn the guy that that girl is far more demonic than her silly clothes make her out to be. Surely, he could be innocent in all of this.

Luckily, I have his number, so I'll call him soon and explain everything that has happened. I can only hope that he’ll believe me and goes to get himself a new partner once justice has been brought.

For some reason the Poltergeist of Anaberal is laughing her guts out at this move, as if this is the funniest thing ever.

I can never understand her humour, but either way I'll be sure to update later today again.

Well, never mind all that, OP. This has nothing to do with this thread, but would you just listen to me for a little bit? See, I went to the local Yoshinoya today. Right. Yoshinoya. And the damn place was packed so full of people, I couldn't even find a seat. So I looked around a bit, and I found a sign that said "150 yen off". What the hell is wrong with you people? Are you idiots or something? Any other day you wouldn't even think of going to Yoshinoya, but if it's 150 yen off, you all flock in here? It's just 150 fucking yen! 150 yen! And you're bringing the kids too. Look at that, a family of four going to Yoshinoya. Con-fucking-gratulations. And now the guy's going, "All right! Daddy's going to order the extra-large!" Shit, I can't watch any more of this.
Yoshinoya should be fucking brutal. Two guys sit facing each other across a U-shaped table, and you never quite know if they'll suddenly just start a fight right there. It's stab-or-be-stabbed, and that's what so damn great about the place. Women and kids should stay the fuck away.
Well, I finally found a seat, but then the guy next to me goes, "I'll have a large bowl with extra gravy!". So now I'm pissed off again. Who the fuck orders extra gravy these days? Why are you looking so goddamn proud when you say that? I was gonna ask you, are you really going to fucking eat all that gravy? I wanted to fucking interrogate you. For about a fucking hour. You know what? I think you just wanted to say "extra gravy".
Now, take it from the Yoshinoya veteran. The latest thing among the Yoshinoya pros is this: Extra green onions. That's the ticket. A large bowl with extra onions, and egg. This is what someone who knows his shit orders. They put in more onions, and less meat. A large bowl with the raw egg, that's really fucking awesome. Now, you should know, if you keep ordering this, there's a risk employees might write you up. This really is a double-edged sword. I really can't recommend this for amateurs.
And you, OP, well, you should really just stick to today's special.

>>25193

A fascinating story, one I've even read in its entirety but I'm going to have to warn you one last time that unless you have something productive to say then do NOT bother posting.

Also fuck you for making me hungry, I'm currently seated at a local restaurant because of that as a secondary reason. Having the usual garbage fries with mayonnaise and cheeseburger to fill the cavity inside my stomach, one can only hope I won't grow obese from these.

"I hate this taste, but odd as it maybe I can't get enough of it", the Poltergeist of Anaberal comments across from me about her strawberry milk shake. To my immense displeasure she has decided to haunt me outside the apartment as well, the reason of which is quite rude.

"You look terrible, do keep in mind that I want to watch if you kill yourself" she says those words with a kind smile and a sweet tone to stay under the radar of other clients that are nearby. Her words failing to sting me in the slightest smile as I've grown used to ignoring her regardless of her corporeality. Is that even a word?

It doesn't matter, grammar doesn't matter, her dumb vuvuzela playing ass doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is that that red haired freak doesn't get to walk freely around the street anymore. I'll do everything in my power to make that a reality.

On that matter, I'm currently waiting for the Priest lad. To my surprise he fully believed every word that I've told him and will come pick me up soon so that we can speak about this problem in a more private location. Now I wasn't so sure at first since doing something like this is a common horror trope, but he sounded genuinely worried and overall seems like a nice person.

Far kinder than my own friends in fact, those bastards refused to let me sleep at their house. In fact, they've even gone off the deep slope and are acting all offended about rumours that have absolutely no basis in any possible reality ever.

I did not ask those nuns for sexual favours.
I did not ask those nuns for their bath water.
All I wanted was some damn holy water.
But now everyone thinks I'm a piss baby freak.

This day is not going well, I can only hope it gets better later. If it does then I may elaborate on some other things that I've failed to mention but once again this is where I bid, you all goodbye for now.

I'm an alien who implanted a piece of metal in OP's body.
The other day I visited the earth, abducted OP as a sample of the earthlings. I tampered with his body to gather data of the earthlings.
But I made a terrible mistake.
OP's fat body is a nonstandardized article as an earthling.
He is unemployed, and on top of that he has no friends.
All day long he is sitting in front of the personal computer, clattering clattering, clattering the keyboard.
I am fed up with this job.
Boss from mother planet yelled at me for this failure.
He said, "Select your specimen more carefully!"
This is the first penalty I get since I have been assigned to The Earth Observation Party.
The human mutilation is not easy task.
Next year I am demoted to the charge of the cattle mutilation.
I am just about to go to The Area 51.
As for OP, I leave him entirely up to you. Do as you like.

>>25194
...Were the nuns wearing actual nun’s habits or sexy nun costumes?

>>25192
Hey, OP, this is Wada from the Public Security Intelligence Agency. You don't know me, but that's fine; I've got a few questions for you, if you wouldn't mind answering them for me willingly.

Don't worry about the details. Just pick up your phone when you get the call.

How many numbers are there?

Okay, that's a little unspecific. How many counting numbers are there? To give them a more formal name, how many natural numbers are there? These are the numbers you use to count things:

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, ...
Some people like to include 0 in there as well. For the purposes of today's question, that's not important. We're talking about positive (or non-negative) whole numbers. No fractions, no irrational numbers, no other weird numbers. Okay, so how many are there?
Here's the thing. You use natural numbers to count the number of objects in a collection. It doesn't matter how big your collection of objects is, there needs to be a natural number matching it. (They don't need to be physical objects, by the way - you can count other things just as easily, for example the number of flavours of ice cream, or the number of times you've seen Star Wars.) But it doesn't matter how many objects are in your collection, it's always conceivable to add one more. And when you add one more, you need one more natural number to describe how many you have now.

So the natural numbers never "run out". There is no "biggest" natural number. Name any natural number you care to. I can name one that is bigger. Not to be outdone, you can always name one that is bigger than that. And so on.

So how many natural number are there?

A thousand? No - give me a thousand different natural numbers and I can name one you don't have already. A million? No - same deal. A billion? No again. If we start counting at 1, by the time we get to a billion, we've collected a billion natural numbers. But there's still a billion and one, and two billion, and a hundred billion, and 50 trillion, and... well, there are still lots of numbers we haven't counted yet.

And it doesn't matter how far you go, whatever number you count up to, I can name numbers you haven't counted yet. Lots of them.

So: How many natural numbers are there?

It should be pretty clear that we can't say how many natural numbers there are by giving the answer as a natural number itself. Because any number we name, we always find that there are more than that. Every single natural number we can think of is too small.

We describe this situation by saying that there are an infinite number of natural numbers.

Now, the concept of "an infinite number" is a very tricky idea, and it's incredibly easy to get a slightly incorrect understanding of what it really means. Some people think of "an infinite number" as essentially "a really, really big number". This is wrong. A really, really big number, no matter how big it is, you can count up to if you have enough time and enough patience. By "enough time" I may actually mean more time than the age of the universe - physical considerations don't come into it. Assuming you did (somehow) have all the time you needed, you could count up to any really, really big number. But you will never reach an infinite number. Never. Ever. That's what an infinite number means - it's a number you can never reach by counting, no matter how long you have.

All right, so there are an infinite number of natural numbers. Let's try a trickier question. How many integers are there? Integers are the set of positive and negative whole numbers (and zero):

... -6, -5, -4, -3, -2, -1, 0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, ...
Let's start by comparing the integers to the naturals. The naturals start at 1 (or 0, if you prefer), and go off forever in one direction. Which gives us an infinite number of naturals. The integers kind of start in the middle, and go off forever in two directions. On the positive side, no matter how big an integer you name, I can name a bigger one (just like the naturals). But also on the negative side, no matter how big a negative number you name, I can name one even more negative.
So it looks like there are twice as many integers as there are naturals! That kind of seems to make sense. Only what is two times an infinite number? Well, we know there are no numbers bigger than an infinite number, so if you multiply it by 2, you must get... the same infinite number? Now things are getting slightly confusing. Are there twice as many integers as naturals, or the same number? Does this question even make sense?

The question does make sense, and here's how to think about. If we write the integers in a different order, we don't change how many there are, as long as they're all still there. So let's do this:

Naturals 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 ...
Integers 0 1 -1 2 -2 3 -3 4 -4 5 -5 6 -6 ...
On the bottom row, I've written the integers, starting at 0, then going to 1, followed by -1, and... well, you can see the pattern. I hope it's obvious that every single integer is in the list on the bottom row (which notionally extends forever). Any integer you can name, 17, -435, 983021, -4372745996273, is in that list of numbers. It's true, it takes twice as long to get there if you start at the 0 and work your way to the right one number at a time, but the number is there.
Now the interesting thing about this rearrangement is that we've gotten rid of the two-ended "going off forever" thing. The integers now start at one point and go off forever in only one direction! In fact, by using the list of natural numbers in the top row, we can count the number of integers. Not only can we count them, we can count them using exactly the same numbers we used to count the natural numbers. And we never miss any.

So how many integers are there? An infinite number of them, yes, but we can see that we can match the integers up one-for-one with the naturals. In some very real sense, there are exactly the same number of integers as natural numbers.

This is just one of the many surprising and counter-intuitive things that happens when you deal with infinite collections of things. The naturals are an infinite collection of things (numbers), and the integers are an infinite collection of things. And we can match them up one-for-one. Forget about the intuitive idea that there must be twice as many integers. If you take two collections of things and you can match them up one-for-one, and not leave any out in either collection, then the two collections are the same size.

But let's not stop there. How many rational numbers are there? These are the numbers formed by dividing one integer by another non-zero integer. Fractions.

Well. With naturals and integers there are obvious gaps between the numbers - between 1 and 2 there are no other natural numbers. But with rationals, there is always another number between any two rational numbers. Between 1/3 and 1/2 there is 5/12. Between 5/12 and 1/2 there is 11/24. And so on. You can always add any two rational numbers together and divide by 2 to get another rational number in between. No matter how close together they are (assuming they're not actually the same number to start with).

If you think about it for a minute, this means that between 1 and 2, there are an infinite number of rational numbers! Because it doesn't matter how many rationals you name, you can always find more, by splitting the gaps. The gaps will get incredibly small, but you can always keep splitting them with more in-between rational numbers. Good lord. Between 1 and 2 we already have an infinite number of rationals! How are we ever going to count them all?

rational number countingWell, rearranging worked for the integers. Let's try a similar thing here. Take a look at the diagram (based on an original diagram by Cronholm144 and released under Creative Commons Attribution ShareAlike). I've written the natural numbers along the top and down the side of a grid. In the grid, each position is filled with a rational number formed by dividing the row number by the column number. The grid continues forever to the right and downwards. Since every (positive) rational number can - by definition - be written as one natural number divided by another, this means that every positive rational number is in this grid somewhere.

17/235? It's in the 17th row, 235th column. 561 and 34/291? That equals 163285/291, and sits in the 163285th row, 291st column.

Okay. But the grid has an infinite number of rows, and an infinite number of columns. This is even worse than the integers, which went on forever in two directions. The rationals head off forever in an infinite number of different rows and columns!

But take a look at the grey arrows. They start at 1/1, head down to 2/1, then diagonally up to 1/2, then across to 1/3, then diagonally through 2/2 to 3/1, down again, diagonally up, and so on. If you follow this path, you cover every slot in the grid. It doesn't matter which slot of the grid you pick, you'll be able to get there by following this path. That means that whatever positive rational number you can think of, you can reach by following this path.

At this point notice that some of the numbers in the grid are actually the same number. 2/2 for example, is just 1, which is the same as 1/1. Likewise 3/3, 4/4 and so on. And 2/4 is the same as 1/2. If we follow the grey arrow path, whenever we reach a number that is equal to a number we've already seen (in a different form), we'll shade it red and skip over it, so we don't count it more than once. Okay, so by following the grey arrows we can reach every positive rational number, and we don't count any of them more than once.

To add the negative rational numbers, we just do the same trick we did with the integers. And we can add 0 at the beginning to cover that as well. So, take a look at this list:

Naturals 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 ...
Rational 0 1 -1 2 -2 1/2 -1/2 1/3 -1/3 3 -3 4 -4 3/2 -3/2 2/3 -2/3 1/4 -1/4 ...
Because we're following the grey path on the diagram, every single positive rational number is in this list somewhere, and because we follow it with the negative, every negative rational number is there too, and so is 0. In other words, every single rational number is in this list, matched one-for-one with a natural number.
So the collection of natural numbers can be matched one-for-one with the collection of rational numbers. Which means the collections are the same size. Sure, there are an infinite number of rationals, but it's the same infinite number as the infinite number of naturals. Wow.

All right, let's get even more ambitious. How many real numbers are there?

Real numbers can be thought of as any number you can express with decimal notation, with any finite string of digits before the decimal point and any string of digits at all, finite or infinitely long, after the decimal point. All rationals are real numbers, since any fraction can be expressed as a finite or infinitely repeating string of decimal digits. But there are real numbers which aren't rational - numbers such as the square root of 2, or π. These numbers are only expressible as an infinitely long sequence of decimal digits that does not fall into a recurring pattern.

Such numbers are densely packed, like the rationals. Between any two different real numbers, we can always find another real number. For example, between these two real numbers:

0.32984573286498143827395826...
0.32984573286498143827395841...
is the number:
0.32984573286498143827395839...
All you have to do is find the first digit in the decimal expansion where the numbers differ, and you can insert something in between. (Or in cases where they only differ by 1, like 0.3434 and 0.4294 you do the inserting in the next place, like so: 0.3728) So, like the rationals, there are an infinite number of real numbers between 1 and 2, for example.
Okay, so by now you may be thinking that I can pull out some tricky re-ordering of the real numbers to show how you can match them up one-for-one with the naturals, just like I did with the rationals. Well, actually, the guy who first came up with that clever piece of ordering of the rationals was Georg Cantor, a German mathematician of the late 19th century.

real number countingRight then, let's assume we can order the real numbers in such a way that we match them all up one-for-one with the naturals. For now, it doesn't much matter what this particular ordering is, let's just assume we can do it. An example of what such an ordering might look like is shown in the diagram on the right. This time we're listing the numbers down the page: the naturals down the left and the reals down the right, paired up one-for-one. Each real number carries on for an infinite number of decimal places, and both lists of numbers carry on down the page for an infinite number of numbers. Ignore the bit below the line for now; we'll get to that very soon. Let's think about that diagram for a bit.

Notice that some of the digits are red. The first digit after the decimal point in the first real number, the second digit in the second number, the third in the third, and so on. Below the line, I'm going to write down all the red digits, in their respective decimal places. This forms a new number, the number shown below the line in red. So far, so good.

Now I'm going to make a new number, by simply writing down a different digit to the red number in each decimal place. Where the red number has a 2 right after the decimal place, I'm going to write a 7. The next red digit is a 9, I'll write a 4. And so on down the line - I pick a different digit to the red digit immediately above at every decimal place. [There is a tiny extra detail here that I don't want to go into today. If you know what I'm talking about, then rest assured I know about it too. If you don't, then don't worry, it doesn't affect the basic argument.]

This new number I've made, the black one at the bottom, is a real number. It's an infinitely long string of decimal digits, and that's what a real number is. So it's definitely a real number. If it's a real number, it must be somewhere in the (infinitely long) list of all the real numbers that we have above the line. Where is it?

Well, it's not in the first place on the list, since the first digit after the decimal is different to that one. It's not in the second place, since the second digit is different. It's not in the third place, since the third digit is different. And so on. In fact, it's not equal to any of the real numbers in our "list of all the real numbers", because whatever entry in the list we look at, our new number is different in the corresponding decimal place. (It's guaranteed to be different, since that's how we made this new number.)

So we have a real number that is not in our "list of all the real numbers". This cannot possibly be the case, so we've made a mistake somewhere. The mistake we made was in assuming that we could write down this "list of all the real numbers" in a one-for-one pairing with the natural numbers. We've just proved that you can't match the collection of real numbers one-for-one with the collection of natural numbers. It doesn't matter how you try to do such a matching, there will always be real numbers left over that you haven't matched up to a natural.

This is mind-blowing stuff.

We've shown that:

-The integers, although they look to be twice as numerous as the naturals, match up one-for-one with the naturals. There are, effectively, the same number of integers as there are natural numbers. You can pack all the integers into the same space as the natural numbers.

-The rationals, although they look to be much more numerous than the naturals, also match up one-for-one. There are effectively the same number of rational numbers as there are natural numbers. You can pack all the rationals into the same space as the natural numbers.

-The reals, although they don't particularly look all that much more numerous than the rationals, actually cannot possibly be matched one-for-one with the naturals. There are, in a very deep and true sense, more real numbers than rational numbers. You cannot pack all the reals into the same space as the natural numbers.

-Your story sucks and you should stop writing it.

diagonalisation argument more like die-in-agony-from-all-this-bloviation argument

Yeah, I'm going to have to break character now.

I didn't mind the meme responses nor the lmao op is dumb responses but that whole math thing is just a what the fuck moment to me. If you dislike the whole thing that badly then don't bother posting lad.

That said, I'm going to continue responding in character to the other posts though. Since any good and bad comments have an influence on the narrative whether that's by giving good advice or genuinely pissing off the *Moron who posted on thp for help* and thus making them less willing to listen here or sometimes outright more motivated to move out of sheer spite and all that gizmo.

Either way, I'm going to continue writing this. And if some mathematical ass doesn't like it.

Then they can cope about it, until tomorrow to the rest of you and thank you for participating so far.

Props to the one who figured out which old ass 2hu it was, feel free to inform the inc poster about the fact that the priest and the girl are the same person or not. Cause that's a big decision on it's own.

OOC Talk done.

>>25205
It's /blue/, my friend. Che sarà, sarà.

Or maybe I should say—che era sarin, era già. I think you ought to show up a little early to your scheduled meet-up with this priest, just to avoid any last-minute hastiness.

Actually, that's fair enough yeah. Just got mildly heated there for no real reason.

Shitpost all you want, try not to make that much of a wall of text tho cause damn that's ugly as fuck.

https://www.irregularwebcomic.net/2292.html

Also got the reference, kind of a boring copy pasta. Either way I'm just going to take the shitposts as jests rather than insults and continue enjoying myself by writing this.

Wait, in hindsight I kind of ruined the vibe by no longer making it vaque whether the poster was for real a schizo in RL or not now didn't I? Damn, that's a dumb move from me.

Anyway until the next update y'all.

>complaining about shitposting on /blue/
you must be nue here

>She eats my food, personally insults me, and destroys my stuff. Without even paying the damn rent.
That's a wife anon. You're married.
Also one of these women is kana, but i cant tell which, so I'm posting all three.

>>25208 I am but will get used to this quickly enough. Anyway, here we go again

---

>>25196
Aliens aren't real, also you've got no information on what my body's like. Not only that but I'm already employed in multiple jobs, which I wouldn't need to if a certain someone was gone already. That said, you're probably just shitposting again and I'll just say it one final time: Cease now, or else.

>>25196
Good question, I'm not too sure what kind of fashion it was meant to represent so it seemed bland and uncreative to me. But the short answer is that they were wearing cloths all over their body, it's like they were a bunch of walking blankets in a way but who am I to judge catholic these days?
Why be covered head to toe in fabric if you're going to a party anyway? you'd just look stupid and any dirt from food and drinks are going to put stains on you. They also spoke the weirdest of Latin.

Still don't get how they have misunderstood my intentions though, but then again, some people are just paranoid and any time trying to fix this misunderstanding would be useless since the damage has already been spread. Guess that means visiting a church is a last case option now.

>>25197
Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure, nice try buddy but unless the cops are knocking at my door tomorrow morning, I'm not going to feel threatened by that. My tip was anonymous and so there shouldn't be any possible way for anyone to track this back to me. Hopefully, I think?

>>25200
Too long didn't read, not sure if your math would have been useful but keep your shit short if you want anyone to read it. You're more boring than my math teacher and I aced math.
Try and keep your points concise and to the point next time, if you do only then I might read it.


>>25212

...

You're joking right?
Why did you say that like it was a normal sentence?
In what universe, in what reality is that the logical conclusion here?
Just no, no, no, no, no, no, NO, NO, in an infinite expanse of NO’s from the Dimension of NO with a statue dedicated to their great creator, the God of NO, who wept tears of NO that filled the oceans with NO and brought about billions of creatures who were NO!
You're having a MASSIVE misunderstanding here; do you not remember why I posted here?
It's not because I want to, I'm doing it because she's telling me to and also because I've tried everything in my power to be rid of her yet have failed in that endeavour. I am out of options.
I do not consent to having her in my house, I do not want to spend a single second with her if I can help it and the biggest feelings, I feel for her can be summarized as the desire to strangle her.
I get out of every bed every day with the miniscule hope of her not being there anymore and every day I have to see that dumb face of hers as our torturous co-habitation continues.
How am I?
Who am I?
Where am I?
You don't know the answers to that, nor do you care for it.
As long as you get your amusement, you're satisfied.
You think this is all a joke and the moment I stop posting you'll simply shrug and move on instead of wondering whether I'm dead or not (hint: I'm not at the moment, duh) and so my life does not matter to you or to her.
Even so, I'll continue to exist out of spite.
Spite towards myself
Rage towards her
Malice towards you.
Pity to whoever will be her next victim if I perish.
As long as I exist, As long as I can move, this isn't going to be over.
I will move, I will try, I will fail. I will try again as many times as need be. Never stopping.
Until either she or I are gone from this shitty apartment.
What in the fucking hell made you say that nonsense?

It doesn't matter, I'm too pissed to continue writing now, not only were your full off shit but so was the Priest lad.
I'll tell you all more about it tomorrow, alongside what happened in the railway. Context is always nice.
Or maybe I won't?
It's not like anyone gives a shit.

I think I understand now.

OP, were the women dressed like this?

>>25214
He never said you were HAPPILY married. Or that you agreed to it in the first place. Or that there’s any love in the relationship. Or that it’s even legally recognized.
Man, this marriage has problems. Have you considered counseling?

>>25215

Why yes, they were dressed exactly like that. And to this day I do not understand the reasoning behind such a dress-code. Do they feel warm in there? Is it to hide their bodies or something? I've seen no mention of covering one's women like a gift basket in the bible so why do they do it?

Perhaps it's simple another variant of Christianity, but in the end these women aren't important. What they have failed to provide however...could be a real gamechanger.

I am fully convinced that if ghosts are real, not that I believe that but the continued presence of the Poltergeist of Anaberal is a strong convincer. Ahem, I am fully convinced that if I were to be able to procure something of a nature divine, I should be able to use to exorcise the gal out of my home.

I've even looked it up online already, but I do not believe that any water in a bottle delivered to me would be the genuine article. Though desperate I may be, I am not a fool and will not fall for such an obvious scam.

That said, perhaps I'll have to go try and make some myself? I doubt it'd be possible for any and all faith I had in my life was only in the belief of Santa Claus, The Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy rather than God.
Through no fault of my own mind you! It was simple the fact that their advantages were more alluring.

But perhaps...there is another way? If churches can make holy water....then perhaps they have the recipe written down? It's kind of a far stretch but once my current problem has been solved I may go the nearest town with a church in hopes of procuring the secret behind this. Through whatever means are necessary.

Food for thought.

Also just a minute, someone's being rather noisy.

Okay, I'm back! Wait, this is written in text so you wouldn't be able to tell time h-uh never mind that.

For a moment, I mistook this as one of those social media apps one has on their phone. Let's continue.

>>25216

This is NOT a marriage, unless you yourself are a person of faith or the fricking president you have no right to tell me whether I'm married to someone or not. Also no, I've never done counselling. No idea what you mean by that frankly so you'll have to elaborate so I can see whether or not you are giving me a bad idea.

That all said and done, I now have a story to tell. It's a long story and frankly I cannot simply refuse to tell it lest every other action from now on would be lost without context. So I'm going to give you all a choice.

Do you want the long story or the short story? I'd rather not waste my time if you care not for it.

>>25218
I'm a fan of long, hard, and deep recollections.

>>25218

>Women wearing blankets

Those aren't Christians, they're Muslims OP!

Those don't sell holy water, of course they'd think yo're weird. Imagine being those girls and having some stranger aggresively demand 'holy water'.

My fucking sides are dead, how are you still alive?

>>25224

Again, no memes please. I saw what I saw and frankly that isn't funny at all.

>>25220

Understood, I shall tell a story then. Just give me a moment to deal with someone at the door.
Someone one of you, or perhaps a neighbour has decided to commit a funny and cosplay as a police officer before my abode.

The real deal has no reason to be here and so I'm currently thinking on what to do about this conundrum. I should have a water gun capable of shooting slime laying somewhere.

How foolish this person was, but I shall outprank the prankster. Be back soon.

>>25232
Rip in pips, HauntedAnon.

>>25232
You know what to do, Anon.

So now that he’s dead, can I be haunted next?

Okay so, for a matter that is unrelated to my last post: How would one dispose of a human body?

McDonald's can sort you out, fam

My personal recommendation is:
Pete’s pizzeria and abortion clinic; Where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce. We accept copses too!

Correction to previous post, *corpses not copses.

Another recommendation of mine is the trustworthy Joe’s Crematorium, where “You Kill ‘em, We Grill ‘em”

I'd also like to ask for what reason do you seek our services, perhaps I could help you if you need more.. discrete services. though as you can probably guess, the places I've recommended aren't the most... reputable establishments.

Necro Neko’s Corpse Collection is my personal recommendation.

OOC: Got busy, can continue again.

---

The officer broke her neck.
And was twitching on my floor for a while.
This isn't something you could call an accident.
And I don't think she's going to survive.
But I'm not a killer...sure I was an idiot for believing that shooting slime on an filthy officer would be enough to cause them to run away. And sure I panicked a bit once they took out their rod and walked towards me with the intent of beating the dumbness out of me for the assault.
But I'm not a killer, because I haven't touched a single hair on her.
The poltergeist of Anaberal however...she's sipping some tea pinkie in air like nothing's wrong.
I didn't know one's neck could bend in such an odd way, and wonder why I'm still myself alive.
This isn't the Howling Madness, but even so the fact remains that a murder happened in my house and naturally everyone's going to believe I'm the culprit. I can't go to prison at my age!
It's been like an hour now, or maybe three? I'm not sure how much time has passed but I'm certain that if I don't hurry and do something then someone will notice this girl's absence.
It's fucked up but I need to get this body out of my house before it has a chance to stench up the whole place, before anyone has a chance to look for her. It's dark outside right now so there shouldn't be many people roaming out. If need be I could cover the body in garbage b...
This reasoning makes me feel like a serial killer or some nut they see in the movies.
But I'm not a killer, I can't and would never be! It's all the fault of that damned Anaberal!
I want to run away, far from here, go back to the country side but I know I can't the evidence's still here.
I have my own car, and really anything a middle-class citizen can possibly have in an apartment these days.
Please help.

>>25255
Gasoline and matches. Only way to be sure.
It's too bad you don't own any land. Or pigs.

...Weeelllll shit man, you're in a bad spot right now, ain't ya? Can that poltergeist of yours clean it up? though I don't suppose she ever had to worry about cleaning up after herself, because who would believe someone who says "the ghost did it!"

Hey, did they have anything on them which indicates where they live? If they're your neighbor you should be able to get there quickly and frame it as an accident, fell down the stairs you know? maybe nobody will investigate to see if there was foul play.

... I do have to ask though, are you SURE it was a cosplayer? Becuase that might have been a real cop, in which case you should hand yourself over rather that get charged with Obstruction of justice, on top of murder of a law enforcement officer.

(ooc: I am really tempted to start referring to the SCP foundation because of the urban fantasy feeling of this story)

>>25256 I just read this and yeah pigs would get rid of the body fast but don't stick around while they do it unless you want to have even more trauma.

Sorry for the late response, I've read your answers just now and it's a solid midnight now.
I'm afraid I don't have any pigs that are close to the city but the countryside itself would be nothing more than a 4-hour ride or so to gain access to. Ergo finding a farm wouldn't be that difficult, the real problem lies in dumping a corpse inside my car and carrying it that far away in the hopes a bunch of pig’s feasts on it faster than some farmer can wake up in the middle of the night or something like that. Also, it'd be 4 am by then.

Not to forget the fact only a few specific people are allowed to leave the city anyway (but you already knew this, I'm sure), I'd need to ask permission from the government to visit the outside a few weeks in advance if I wanted to visit my humbler parents and ugh, having to smuggle a dead body past the security wouldn't be possible without making the body unrecognizable to fool them and even then they might figure out that these bars of meat are man-made in a literal way. There's only so much I can do and the new James Bond I am not. To clarify my father is a butcher and so I am fully aware on how to drain creatures of their blood, section their meats, and all those fruity bits that I frankly don't believe would work on a human creature, in theory that is.

The plan of setting the corpse on fire isn't a great idea either, since if the internet is correct doing such a thing would take lots of time and make the corpse stink a whole lot. Making anyone who comes visit the house quite aware to what has occurred in here. I'm going to need better methods than these anon.
As far as I can tell these methods have all been attempted in the past and most of the times failed.

I guess I have no choice but to make my own decision...which is something I don't want to do, see it's not because I'm indecisive but somehow in someway every decision I make tends to backfire on me. From releasing a dog from a cage only for it to attack me and various other aspects in my life. Things seem to never end well when I fully commit to doing something, and to this day I cannot tell the reason behind that.

All this brainstorming aside though, doesn't change the fact that there's a dead body in my hallway that I haven't moved or touched for the six hours. Instead, here I am hiding in my room like a coward. The police could come anytime or perhaps they've already tried to contact her via phone or something but I'm too far away to register it from this distance. I don't know but I know that if I don't get up and do something, then my future and my dreams will all be gone as morning comes.

Brb.

Okay, I've gone to take a proper look at the dead body now. It wasn't a neighbour or someone I knew for one.
And for two the badge in their pocket may be the real deal, the girl herself has...just some average blonde girl. They don't look too old so they might have been a rookie, in fact I haven't seen them around before so that might really be possible. I may or may not have murdered someone who was just trying to go through their first day of the job, but if so how come no one el-

Correction: I didn't kill her, the poltergeist of Anaberal did. That aside, there wasn't much on the girl other than a tazer, a real gun and a baton on her alongside 2 mini pouches to put things in. One of them contained her wallet and aside from the money there wasn't much else other than...other than...a picture the girl holding a pose with 2 younger boys around a birthday cake. They look so happy and peaceful and even though I don't know if they're her sons or younger brothers I can tell that because of me they will never see her again. Their reliable rookie officer mom/big sister has died because I was a selfish little troll. What was I thinking!?

I am the ruler of morontown. If that damn poltergeist wasn't here, then it wouldn't have happened sure. But doesn't the fact that I haven't made an actual move to be rid of her not make me responsible for any antics she might feel comfortable doing in my house? If only I was a braver person, if only I had more spirituality, if only I had done anything then this wouldn't have happened. From the bottom of my heart, I apologize to you police girl whose name is...not something I should write in here.

But I know how to make it even to you, I'll make sure that your life wasn't taken in vain. Are words I genuinely want to say but what can I even do? I don't know how to exorcise a ghost and unless the power of this gun on your dead body can shoot a g-poltergeist I highly doubt it's...I'm just making excuses now aren't I? I always do that; it reminds me of that small river back home with the stones one could use to platform across. The rocks were solid and the water not that deep so jumping on top of those was a fun past-time for kids and a shortcut for adults as well. The rocks were barely a foot or so apart so a walk and jump was more than enough to get across...even then every single time I tried to cross it, my body would seize still, my heart would beat faster and scenarios of me getting hurt if not outright dying would race in my head. The simple task of doing a small jump somehow terrified me and no matter I tried to rationalize it or pep myself up I have never been able to commit to it.

I guess that's the kind of person I've always been: The kind that's afraid to take risks on their own iniative, always led around by the suggestions of others rather than what they could want to do. I'm not one who deserved to win the sperm-race!

But that changes now, I've got her gun in my hand (It feels like a comfortable weight of metal. There’s an interesting, energetic feel, knowing that a trigger pull will send a bullet to wherever the barrel is pointed but oddly enough it makes me feel more vulnerable, one mistake and it could hurt me as much as it could hurt her, one shot and everyone in the vicinity will hear it) and am making my way to the living room. The Poltergeist of Anaberal enjoys relaxing on the vibrating chair and would you know that means she won't see me coming (Because her back is away from the entrance). All I need is to walk into the room, aim the thing at the back of her head and pull the trigger. If everything goes well then that will be the end of everything. No more people to haunt, no more howling madness (Whatever that is) and no more possible victims. Or she just no sells the bullet. Or I miss the shot, unless it’s point-blank I highly doubt that novice luck would work.

That's a jump I'm going to have to make. I can feel it in my bones that if I don't do this, if I go ahead and hide the body or simply turn myself in then I'll be nothing more than the Poltergeist's bitch for as long as she doesn't get tired of me before moving on to her next target. Nothing will be learned, nothing will change and nothing will get better unless I act for once in my fucking life.

I could handle the bullying; I could even tolerate the "Ooh I'm so spooky" bullshit she was pulling on me every day. But I cannot and I will not tolerate this torture to be inflicted on others. To this day I still don't know what the Demon Hunter's Duo deal was but I'm sure I can get answers about that after dealing with this crazy bitch of an era long gone. And if I don't survive this...

Well then, I'm sorry for wasting everyone's time. Until tomorrow and if not, it was a pleasure to have been with you all.

Not, I believe most of you are just dumb memers or are just entertained by this "Creepy Pasta Wannabe" but to those who don't qualify for that I'd like to say thank you for your time and insight. Some of ya'll have been decent chaps and this site isn't that bad.

See ya.

>>25259
>using a weapon designed to throw physical projectiles against a type of creature most well-known for a. being incorporeal and b. having levitative control over physical objects
OP's TV never saw it coming.

"Not to forget the fact only a few specific people are allowed to leave the city anyway (but you already knew this, I'm sure)"

Wait what? What country do you live in, Russia?

>>25259
>I've got her gun in my hand
F I N G E R P R I N T S .

24 hours have passed, there is no update.

OP is probably dead, if so that's a shame. I was genuinely waiting for more urban ghost shenanigans.

If only we could do something...

yeah, RIP

I am alive.

I am well.

>>25266
Charge your phone.

Have you somehow gotten into an white, darker version of the Backrooms?

To be frank, I only know as much about my current situation as anyone else here. The fact I’m not dead is an obvious one, but whether or not I’ve got the police and the media waiting outside for me once I find my way out of here is another thing entirely. Cause short story made shorter: I’ve woken up in a place unknown to me, accompanied with nothing else but a painful sensation in my gut and bruises around my body. Also, my phone and clothes, but uh…I’m quite lost on what’s happening.

Well, for the time it takes me to get a better bearing on the present, I might as well recount the past. Like I’ve said before there were some important moments (recent and not so recent) that I’ve not had the opportunity to tell yet due to constant distractions. But now that I’m stuck inside a dark hallway with nothing to get in the way as far as I know, I may as well take a seat, take a rest and write this all down, now don’t I?

Hmm, though on the other hand. My batter IS indeed not at an optimal state. If it were to run out now of all times then I’d have nobody else to communicate my troubles with until I find a charger.

And as sad as it may be (No offense of course), you people are currently the only ones I can talk to.
So, I’ll leave it to you all to choose once more, should I prioritize getting out of here or should I tell you about the stuff that’s already passed for more context? Honestly, I’ll probably do the former anyway since sitting in place for several hours sounds like a foolish thing to do. If not timewasting.

Yeah, I’m just going to partake in some minor exploring and will keep you all updated throughout it.
Exploring that I’m doing right now actually since walking and typing something on one’s phone is a necessary skill to have these days. I’m just rambling at the moment, but do forgive me for typing my thoughts down somehow feels calming. I rather dislike the darkness and silence in this place…

Also, I don’t know what a backroom is, sorry but I’ll answer the less important questions later. That said I should properly describe the surroundings, now shouldn’t I? Hold on, I’ll simply take another picture. That should be far easier to showcase and it’d be far less effort for me to describe things.
…
Uh, that’s odd. I’m pressing on the flash button but the camera refuses to snap. Is it a memory problem or am I messing something up here? I knew I shouldn’t have gone for something as retro as a Samsung Galaxy S22 Ultra. Blasted things are nothing more than bricks compared to the…okay I don’t keep track of the current trends fine, but still this is what happens when you buy cheap stuff.

Well anyway, if I had to describe my surroundings the first words would be white and isolating, the walls, floors and ceilings are all of the same color and there’s next to nothing in this fricking place.

Not a single person, rat or even bug is something I’ve met at the moment. That’s how isolating this place is, actually the proper word would be empty or deserted I think, since occasionally I do hear some footsteps in the distance. No idea to who they belong to hence I’m following the noise the same way a dog would follow a thrown stick since what else can a person do this in this situation? NOT follow the oh so mysterouis foot-steps? Please, I've seen enough horrors to know that doing so will aways lead to something interesting.

It’s a real pain to walk though, fear aside every few minutes I need to stop and rest because a sharp pain one could compare to having a bunch of scissors in their tummy rings up consistently within. I’m sure the cruder ones among you would jokingly refer this as diarrhea, but I’ve already found a bathroom before and sat on it for a few minutes with no result whatsoever. So, it can’t be that.

Never mind this anyway, the noise’s gotten more frequent. Like whoever is walking has noticed me pursuing them and is now taunting me to pick up the pace or be lost forever or some shit. So, I’m just going to put my phone on rest now, hope this isn’t some prank from the Poltergeist and will message you all as much as I’m able in hourly basis? I believe that’s a good plan to follow, so I shall do so.

Getting massive hospital slash abandoned house vibes from this place though, but I’ll come back later with more details, can’t waste any battery and all that so see you all later.

Also why is it so dark when it's supposed to be 4 pm right now?

>>25266
>>25269

What are you doing? You think just cause I'm gone for a few days you can just pretend to be me and try to take over the story like some phantom thief?

I really don't apreciate that, not only do I have to deal with a medical and police interrogations but now even you lads are adding in fake news to mock me.

I have my own share of problems to deal with here, just wait for a fucking moment and maybe I'll bring in an update about the circumstances. Dear god.

If there's an way to avoid people pretending to be me, I'd apreciate if anyone told me so.

Additionally, if anyone knows a great lawyer be sure to tell them to contact me. REAL OP out.

OP here, ha ha disregard that I suck cocks

REMOVE KANA remove kana you are worst ghost. you are the ghost idiot you are the ghost smell. return to hell. to our hell cousins you may come our eastern contry. you may live in the shrine....ahahahaha ,makai we will never forgeve you. demon rascal FUck but fuck asshole ghost stink hell polyushka polye..ghost genocide best day of my life. take a bath of dead ghost..ahahahahahMAKAI WE WILL GET YOU!! do not forget th5 .banmaden we kill the shinki , banmaden return to your precious genmukai....hahahahaha idiot ghost and demon smell so bad..wow i can smell it. REMOVE KANA FROM THE PREMISES. you will get caught. reimu+marisa+mima+yuuka=kill makai...you will th5/ ellen alive in eastern country, ellen making magic shop of eastern country . fuwafuwa ellen eastern country. we are rich and have sweets now hahahaha ha because of ellen... you are ppoor stink ghost... you live in a bottle hahahaha, you live in a shrine

ellen alive numbr one #1 in eastern country ....fuck the hell ,..FUCKk ashol ghosts no good i spit in the mouth eye of ur grave and legcy. e11en aliv and real strong magician kill all the zombie goast skelton with fuwafuwa magic now we the HUMA rule .ape of the zoo god shinki fukc the great sariel and lay egg this egg hatch and makai wa;s born. stupid baby form the eggn give bak our clay we will crush u lik a eye of sigma. eastern countrey greattst wonderland

>>25271 should have started with a tripcode.

So, detective time!
>>25266 and >>25269 seem to be the most likely real ones. >>25269 especially, with the writing style being the same. Also the name of >>25269 is similar in style as the original ones as well as "Best Ghost!" being written the same.

Anyways, even if I'm wrong, I'm still going to answer some of them.

>>25269
The backrooms are a practically infinite series of rooms with yellow walls and bright florescent lights. You access said backrooms by essentially noclipping out of reality. It is a very dangerous place due to monsters roaming around. Anyways, that's irrelevant for now. You have two options in my opinion. Option one is you continue what you are doing and hope whoever is making those footsteps is friendly. Option two is to find your own way our. If you choose option two you should start wandering around, not necessarily towards the footsteps but instead choosing a random direction. You should mark the walls in some manner regularly, that way you can always re trace your step and also know if some time-space bullshit is going on (despite how unlikely this is, you know a poltergeist, not much can be surprising anymore).you could also do something like this: get something to mark the walls, doesn't matter what, as long as its permanent. mark your starting location, then start running a mark across the wall. if you end up back where you started, you now know which paths you've explored, and which you haven't. THEORECTICALLY, you should eventually find the exit. Good luck.

>>25271 You probably should ask for lawyers on a internet chatroom.

>>25276

Don't have the time to answer every question or reply to every response right now, that said yours was the most useful out of them all. For that I do have to give you my thanks again for such a straightforward way of navigating an unknown terrain was very insightful if not quite the useful manoeuvre to abuse in my current situation.

A shame it proved hard to do, due to the absence of proper lighting it has become quite difficult to tell any wall from one another let alone notice any marking I may put on them. Though I have gone ahead and damaged some of the walls by scratching my keys against them like one would scratch a car these days.

All while still following the sounds of footsteps that is, I've come to the discovery that it doesn't really matter how fast or slow I go as the sound is always just there at the edge of my auditory range. Hence any running would be nothing more than a waste of stamina, breath and overall futile in my long-term body health.

Speaking of body-health, I suspect I understand the pain in my stomach now. For it has started to swell and feels warm, tender even and even more painful now. I have managed to shoot myself in the stomach somehow, at least I assume that's the case for I'm unable to take a proper gander in these circumstances...actually wait.

Yeah, never mind. It looks like a bullet wound all right. It's a round, red and squeamish open spot that's the size of a golf ball situated right above my belly button. The fact I'm still walking and haven't started bleeding out after like 10 minutes surprises me quite a bit but then again, I'm sure one would find greater achievements on the net itself.

Humans are varied like that; one could die from falling down the stair while someone else could survive being speared in the head. I'd like to count myself lucky for being alive now, but frankly I cannot find the joy in it.

Due to my current circumstances that is, I am certain a quick trip to the hospital, followed by a proper meal could make this day one that is far more supportable than having to live alongside a certain Poltergeist of Anaberal.

But I won't spare her any-more thoughts than need be, in fact I do have to ask: Would it be morbid if I were to trace my steps with the occasional hint of blood prints or something similar? I do not believe so due to risk of infection, but a person can dream. Now to hope it is not an actual dream I am in because boy would that be an anti-climax and also the mere fact that I am sending these messages should be proof off the opposite.

You may have noticed that I have not described the surroundings any further, nor have I updated the current situation with the oh so mysterious footsteps. The reason for that is simple for nothing has changed at all.

I am still walking around hallways, leaving marks here and there to keep track of my current position. While the sounds of footsteps can be heard in the distance, only stopping the same moment that I do. Quite the oddity.

I shall update again once more information comes.

...

Okay, I have figured out a few things out. One: despite any moment of doubt, the footsteps I am hearing further are not my own. The impact and texture of my shoes create a sound that are mildly different compared to the shoes of whoever is taunting me. In simpler terms my tap taps are different than their toks toks. Thus, the second discovery: Whoever's shoes they may be, the shoes themselves must be either made of heels or wood. The sound they make against the ground is only something shoes with those qualities could be responsible for.

The exact kind of shoes the Poltergeist of Anaberal would wear, coincidence? I believe not. I do not know why I am here or where I am but that does not change the fact that I have no intention of giving up here or anywhere else. I will make the Poltergeist hold responsibility for her actions, for not only because it is the right thing to do but also because of a simple thing.

Nothing short of proving her the culprit will let me return to a life of peace, not a single soul in town would believe my tale without tangential evidence. For all I know, my name is already being gossiped around due to recent circumstances.

Of course, this does not explain anything at all, starting with how am I here? Why am I here? And what is the point of being here in the first place? All those are answers I am going to wring out of her undead body once I find a way to do so.

Has that said, here is the third tale: I have finally found an exit I believe? There is a hole in the wall before me (look at pic) though it may be hard to notice it is rather large enough for me to pass through if I wish to. Unlike the others, this wall is made of pure stone and adorned all around are letters that have been engraved permanently into it.

"E"

"K"

"K"

"R"

"C"

"Y"

"S"

"E"

Its purpose is unknown to me, does it mean a word? Frankly, I do not care much for it at the moment and would like to prioritize some of the more urgent matters. And since this hole is the only thing that seems special to me...

Should I go through it? Or try to find another way out? I'm going to leave this decision up to you once more. Again, I'll answer any questions of lesser importance later. Please stay focused on what could help me right now. Oh, and fourthly: I swear this place has a familiar vibe to it, less so a hospital and more a... place of habitation? Again, that can be answered later, just give the decision as soon as you're able.

I may even prioritize the first one this time.
That said, final question: Is the image more viewable this time? I'm quite lost what's wrong with it, for now I'm capable of making pictures or using the flashlight function but not both at the same time which looks like too large of an oversight to be real.

Right long thing to unpack here. First, the gunshot wound as well as the bruises you have may explain how you got there without remembering anything. the Adrenaline from getting shot mixed with the presumably high stress and fear situation can often cause memory loss. Considering the fact that you haven't torn your insides to shreds from moving around, I'm going to assume either the bullet's been removed or you're just lucky. I don't know how the hell you haven't bled to death yet, but you should get that dealt with as soon as you get out. You could also take precautions by preparing a piece of cloth to hold over the wound, just incase it decides to start bleeding. I've really gotta wonder what the hell you've gotten yourself into.

Right, so the footsteps might that poltergeist you keep talking about, a serial killer taunting you, or a hallucination. I am not discounting the possibility of it being all three. don't both paying attention to the footsteps for now, your priority is getting out. Do pay just enough attention to make sure that the footsteps don't start sounding closer though.

About the exit, "EKKCYSE" seems somewhat like a poorly spelt "exercise." Aside from that I have no idea. anyways, you should go through, but proceed carefully and make VERY SURE to mark the walls there VERY CLEARLY. For all you know you may be going deeper into the place, not out.

Place of habitation huh? abandoned apartment building maybe? If it weren't for the color and lack of lights I'd be tempted to say that you are in the backrooms.

The image is fine, a tad dark but I was able to tell what it was after a few seconds.

What's the image like? Only see darkness here.

The hole he is poining out is a literal hole in the wall, just like what a hole into a cave looks like.

Ah okay then, that explains it nicely.

(Also OOC: I'm getting silent hill vibes here, could this be a Touhou (Pc98) X Silent Hil crossover slash urban fantasy thing?
I've got no idea where this is going but consider me hooked on for the moment).

OOC: same here, I have to consciously keep myself from referencing the SCP foundation all the time.

>>25277
Is camera flash turned on?
Also, when you say “adorned all around” do you mean it’s arranged in a ring? Because assuming it’s ciphertext, it’s neither a pure transposition nor a pure substitution. If it’s arranged in an ordered ring, though, it wouldn’t be too hard to brute force a substitution decryption for all 7 permutations; that being said, if it’s arranged randomly, that’s over 5000 permutations to try decrypting.

Too tirwd to say much, but I did it.
I nadw my way out of tHat shithole, ended up in aomw abandoned mall and cslled an ambilance to get my ass into the hospital, one eternity later aNd here I am drugged to shit afrer an operation tgat prpbably went well since otherwisr I'd be dead and all yhat gizmo. GGonna slee. p now and let shit like medical payment,, cops coming ti visit a nd every other shit be a proBlem for to.mmoroe me.
Dee ya and until tmrw. Ucklmign hwllM I'll take more rhen. ALAO FUCK YOU KANNA AND FUCK YOU DTRAY DPGGOES! I feel like shit and want to comopirtite a telegerande dutck bag looking ass net.

Night.

well seems like he's alive, but drugged to kingdom come. Wonder how he's going to explain to the cops what happened

when do we get to the ghost blowjob part

Going to make this quick: I feel like shit.

More importantly: How does one survive a police interrogation?

I promise to give a longass wall of text and all that narration yada yada tommorow but right now I have only like half an hour to get my shit together before the coppers start asking me questions that I don't have good answers for.

Help.

---

OOC: Every single unanswered post is going to be replied to tomorrow alongside narration of past events. Kind of awkward to do for a story but that's the cost of pretending it's in real time. Answer this last question or don't, cause it'll lead to a different path depending on if Op fucks up or not by following it.

Also last real question: Do you prefer the you format or the me format for the next update?
Cause it'll be a summary of what has passed so far, the influence of your posts and the next chappy all in one blow. Wait for it warmly.

Thank you for participating so far and until then.

Welp, gotta say this isn't my area of expertise. All I can suggest is telling them exactly what happened. You don't really know much, and with what happened they probably would just assume that you're a drug addict that had a hell of a trip and got himself into trouble.

OOC: wdym by you format or me format?

>>25290

That's a good idea yeah and one of the two obvouis choices ('Tell the cops' or 'Be quiet cause nobody will believe it' to be speficic) that one could make here.

You'd be right on the money too, since saying nothing would potentially make one look even more suspicouis due to the belief that "Innocent people have nothing to hide" but at least OP wouldn't be treated like a nutcase, whether that's better or worse is for you to decide since telling the best outcome would be a spoiler in itself.

As for the you or me format that's simple, do you want the summary and conclusion of part 1 to be narrated like:

1-With the you did x format (short and simple): Seeing how the door won't open, you've decided to visit a store to find a gift suitable for Anaberal whatever it may be...if only you didn't meet a certain bloke in there then the day would have been passable.

2- First-person narration (Longer and the default choice): It was no use, the door was sealed tight and nothing short of amusing the ghostly broad would let me back inside. The people on that chat-board or was it a fanfiction net? It doesn't matter which were of the same opinion and somehow that did a number on my nerves...though the instrument idea might be worth pursuing? Oh well, may at least give it a try and so the busy streets meet my footsteps once more as I seek a place where one could buy such useluss tools for a price that didn't approach the double or triple digits.

Worst-case scenario, just nabbing the thing works too. Security is a joke these days after all. Nothing more than some cameras that can see in the dark or monitors that scan your heartrate for signs of nervouisness as if that's an indication of potential criminality, those fat capitalistic blokes still haven't thought of the possibility of someone simply walking in, fetching what they want like they already paid for it and then walking out like nothing bad has happened.

It was tempting but then the thought of getting shot in the back by the owner came to mind, quickly dissuading me of that train of activity....being caught doing a crime was no joke and could be a permanent stain in one's future if they even survived it. Criminals have no rights here after all, and as cutthroat that may be it doesn't change the fact that it's effective.

Little did I know at the time, that I was about to meet an old friend again. If I did I wouldn't have gone at all.

Course the narration wouldn't be this long but it's a nice thing to do to shed all prevouis actions in a new light alongside seeing context that has not been given. (Due to it being none of your business ic from their perspective).

The you-format is more of a formality than anything since I've seen most stories use that way to describe things. Why that is I don't know. (Perhaps for immersion? or self-projection? Something else?)

Either way the choice is yours, I'll wait warmly.

Concerning what to do about the police, it really depends on the local police's attitude. If they're lazy and just want to get through their day, they probably would be fine just letting you go after you tell them your story (as they'd just wave you off as a nutcase). If they're bored or diligent, they may decide to investigate you to make sure you don't harm anyone. BTW when I said "tell them exactly what happened" I meant from you waking up with a wound, not the whole story. They're much more likely to wave you off as a druggie if they think you were temporarily hallucinating and injured yourself in the process. The moment you start telling them that a poltergeist is hanging around your house, the quicker they're gonna lock you up in a nice, padded room with a nice and tight jacket to go along with it.

Considering the type of story this is First-person narration makes the most sense.

https://youtu.be/Vd_VNKkZgLk
Jack Orlando: 01 Main theme (Cause why not)

Let’s keep one thing straight, this isn’t a dairy or a journal. I’m an adult after all, got my own job, my own home, and my own rules to live by. Got no debts or troubles with nobody and no close friends to ask me for favours or other things to waste my time and energy. Nah, I’ve got the job and some time for myself and that’s all I need in this filthy place. Anymore and the city would drain the life out of you, work this and work that, do this and do that, it’s all take and no play but one’s got to know when to rest or you’ll drop dead one day, bald and overworked as your life has flashed by. Your only legacy being the irksome cadaver mucking up the hall for the janitor to clean as your co-worker’s step over you. Sure, they could call an ambulance but they ain’t got the time for it, nobody does anymore.

Hence, I took a job with a big pay and flexible hours, being a camera-man sure isn’t glamorous but there’s plenty of people that want to be on the screen nowadays, one day I sit across a local celebrity of some shitty show and the next I’m filming a bunch of sweaty teens play with a ball in a grassy field for the amusement of the others in the side-lines. The field keeps me hoping and the money keeps dropping. And if the hour’s too long or the pay too low? I can always find another gig.

Some tie-wearing smoe works 12 hours a day to get the money I get in 4, that may sound like a scam but it’s the complete truth and the *trick* behind it’s an easy one too: Only work for rich blokes. Those sovereign citizens love nothing more than to be in front of my device, even more if the quality is only accessible to the most ‘premium’ of folks even though that doesn’t mean anything at all.

You can work hard and break your back or you can take the easy way out and still get nothing for it, nah if you want to survive in this cutthroat petri dish of a ‘City of the Future’ then you have to work smart, make yourself look more valuable than you really are and only put in as much effort as need be, any more and the expectations of those suckers will simply continue to grow until the line between you at your average has simply crossed into always doing your best and not a penny less.

But that’s enough rambling, or rather self-monologuing. I’ve got a problem that needs to be dealt with, a problem that’s gone and overstayed it’s welcome…one I’ve been too complacent about.

The Poltergeist of Anaberal, that’s what I’m calling her now appeared a long time ago. Well by long ago I mean the start of February, it was raining that day, grey clouds and fogs adorned the overly blueish streets with their depressing atmosphere and refused to leave even up to this day the same way a wasp annoys someone who poured honey over their pants…for lack of a better allegory.

Anyway, I didn’t mind the rain, that simply meant most of my jobs were going to be indoors and I never lacked the sun either, so it was all swell for me. Everything was swell…until that girl walked into my life, one look at her was it all it took to twist my stomach into knot, I could simply feel it the moment I saw her outside my office window that the girl was going to be trouble.

Mainly because my office is on the third floor, so either she was some freak that came to break into my house, or my days were about to get a whole lot worse. To this day I wish that the former happened instead.

But that’s a story for another time, right now I had a bigger problem to deal with. One that I couldn’t daydream on, the coppers were beside my cheap hospital bed asking me questions about the day of the murder. Murder was the word they thought about, cause what else could one conclude out of a scene where three gunshots have been heard and a dame covered in green goo with a neck in all the wrong angles? Not a whole lot of other scenarios to put there I tell you, the way one of them seared a flashlight into my eyes while the other colleague stood by the door with a cold gaze told me enough.

“XX Lovecraft, You’re not under arrest; We just want to ask you a few questions” my ass!

I was already guilty in their eyes; the only problem was how to prove it or perhaps there was something else confusing them? I’d assume that’s why they haven’t handcuffed me yet, that or I looked like I would curl up and die the moment a small breeze touched me. Either assumption works out but that still didn’t change what I should do right now, should I talk, or should I keep quiet? I remembered a comment on that fanfiction site that said I should simply tell the basic thing like how I woke up with a wound in another place entirely and nothing more…and so I did. I did exactly that.

“So you woke up in a mall with no memory of how you got there? That’s…” a loaf of bullshit said their expression, but if it’s true then that would be a problem since how could I possibly have covered the distance needed to go from the living area to the slums while wounded and walking in such a short time? Did the killer try to dispose of me? And if so, why not take the lady cop too? Was there even a third person? Could there be a third culprit? “Quite the statement” they ended their statement on that and wrote it down on some paper, as they took a step closer, I realized the light burning my eyes came from the ceiling rather than some flash-light but that didn’t change the fact that if I had guts for it then I’d spit on the filthy, blue-dressed wankers that these incompetent motherfuckers truly are.

Maybe they’d beat me so hard I’d fall asleep again, what a temptation that would be. My eyes felt rather heavy and nothing short of a heavy lungeon felt like it'd give me the punch to get up from this bed without help.

But dreams won’t save me now, I felt like I had to say something else or get some info or else the moment they leave the room I’ll be stuck doing nothing for the rest of the night in paranoia and guilt, the reminder of the victim who’s name I don’t even know did a number for my stomach acids, but I quickly swallowed those feelings in an emotional and physical way before making my move.

“What happened officers? I don’t remember much other than that” I told them a half-truth; I really didn’t remember most of it but my previous post on that site alongside the corridor nonsense painted enough of an image for me to guess the next actions that came after it. I got mad, tried to use the gun, and most likely got my ass handed hard to me. I lost my cool and made the wrong decision again, for all the sass and snark that came out of me I was one hell of a brick head.

I didn’t get to keep up that tone sadly, the coppers continued asking their questions. Their attitude still firmly on the ‘You probably committed the crime; we just need extra confirmation before we can put you in a cell or whatever it is we cops do to you dumb citizens these days’ spectrum of attitude. Then again why shouldn’t they have that attitude?

You don’t need more than a mouse hole under a sink to know the culprit wasn’t an elephant.
And here I was looking rather small and…. mousy?

I needed to get better metaphors and I would, once they stopped asking me the same questions over and over only to refuse any that I give them because of some confidentiality bullshit. The crime was in my house, in my room and so why shouldn’t I get an update on what the fuck happened?!

“Ah there you are” but before I could unleash that vitriol someone else walked into the room. Someone I’d rather not have see now of all times…is a statement I retract the moment I recognize that brown hair, blue cap on their head and white robes adorning them “I’ve seen the news and came to check up on you my new employee. Are you well and safe?” It’s the Priest Lad, he simply waltzed into the room without a single care or perhaps fuck to give about the two coppers that were in the middle of something else to check up on me, something that does not go unrecognized to me.

Nor the coppers “Excuse us sir, but we are in the middle of something” the stupid blue-jacket wearing government dogs clear their throat and insist that they’re in the middle of an interrogation, which they were true but…I’d rather not waste this opportunity to be rid of them so here I go!

“Oh, I see but do you have a warrant for this?” Never mind, the Priest lad seems to be up to something as he puts both of his hands together to do a ‘Don’t worry’ kind of gesture “Cause if you don’t, then I’ll be taking their time for now. I’ve got my own questions to ask as well, I hope you don’t mind” if anyone else said that they’d be smacked but there’s something about his tone and smile that make the words seem rather harmless and innocuous…perhaps they are, and I’m simply jaded? That could be the case, I’m rather a fun of assuming the worst in most situations.

Either way the cops stare at him for a while, then he returns the favour by continuing to smile. Not letting out a single blink or twitch of the slightest muscle. After a few more seconds, one of the cops sighs audibly “We’ll continue this talk once we got a warrant XXXX, we’ve also got your number and also before we leave I’d like to warn you that you are not allowed to re-enter your house for the moment nor are you allowed to leave the area with more of a blab la blab la” after a few more words that I couldn’t care about, both of the coppers leave the room. The last sight of the two blab la blondies being their dumb hair as they finally leave me be in peace, for now that is.

Priest lad claps his hands in joy once, then takes a seat next to me. “With those people out of the way, I’d like to say hello and everything but first I need to ask you an important question….”

“If you’re going to ask if I murdered that girl then no, I’m not the culprit here” I reply swiftly, putting my voice more on edge than I’d like “Nobody but a monster could do such a thing” or an Anaberal then again I’m not 100% sure if she did it either but if It wasn’t me then it had to be her all right.
“Oh no, no. I had a feeling you weren’t that kind of person” Priest lad moves one hand like a paper fan, as if to imply such a claim would be ridiculous “Nah, I’ve got something more important to ask”.

“Then go ahead”

“Would you like to go to McDonalds?”

This is the part where one would put visible silence, the silly three dots of . . . , that one moment where one needs to take a three second break before repeating the question in a tone of incredulity “You want to go to Macdonald?” and I fell for the cliche for that sentence came out of nowhere, was he hungry? Did he think that was my favourite food? I had no clue why he would mention a shitty fast-food place now of all times and places.

“Yes” he replies with a calm nod, then waits for my answer with a serene expression.

“I’m not hungry so no, thanks” I decide to not overthink it and simply say no to the offer, as odd as it may be.

“Oh, but we’re not going there for food?” At this point he has lost me again and I simply reply by asking why he would want to enter a restaurant if one won’t eat there.

His answer is as follows, “Why, to slay a vampire of course”.

And at this point I gave up on logic and gave him a simple and firm sentence back.
[X] I’m in the middle of a Ghost problem myself, so no thank you.
[X] What kind of drugs are you on to have gotten that idea?
[X] Fuck it, I’ll come with if you pay for the food and everything.

---

Yeah, first-person narration works fine. Actually didn't do the whole wall of text since oh god there was a lot in there like you wouldn't believe it. So I may need to like put stuff in separate posts and stuff.

Also yeah this one has a choice in it, since Op taking out his phone to let a bunch of strangers decide here doesn't make a lot of sense. Until the next vote!

[X] Fuck it, I’ll come with if you pay for the food and everything.

I have a feeling that OP is desensitized by the supernatural things going on and would likely just be all like "Vampires? sure, fuck it, why not?"

Late to the party but it's time for another update. As it turns out the cops do NOT have any uh solid proof that I'm the murderer yet I'm still the main suspect since there isn't any proof that I'm innocent either.

Also I can't go home either, cause it's the crime scene d'uh. So I'm stuck living in this hospital for a few days until it's determined safe for me to be discharged. I'm fairly certain I could just sign a waiver or something to leave prematurely but I'll leave that shit for later.

Right now I'm just partaking in a meal at the Macdonalds just accross the street with the Priest lad. He's paying for everything and stuff so don't mind if I go ahead and have a nice bite myself.

One problem though: I'm not sure what to order. I'd rather not eat something that will make me want to shit myself just a few hours later but I'm fully aware that their Mcsalad isn't a healthy choice either.

Oh and about the resto itself? Well again I'm on phone so I'd rather not make this too long but I know you people get a real fiddle for those sexy long descriptions about one's surroundings now don't ya?

Shame for you then, cause I don't feel like it.

I don't like this place now that I think of it, it reeks with the smell of fried grease. So badly that it feels like there's a thin layer of it settling over my skin. The lights are bright and tinted orange and their glaring colour only emphasizes the blurry and dull grey off the fogs lurking outside, giving it all an odd vibe.

Macdonalds more like, you go outside and you'll be shanked by some freak most likelyonalds.

Jokes aside, we're in a one room restaurant. Booths line the walls leading up to the counter.

One lonely cashier sits at the far right end. Some girl with brown hair, that's the only thing I can care to tell about her since she's just some unimportant employee, probably a loser who couldn't get a real job too. Her fancy degree not so useful after all.

She's not a bad person though, in fact she is impossibly cheerful for someone working at 11PM, but in a sweet way, not a creepy way.

She gives me a number even though I'm the only one ordering. Priest lad has already taken a seat in wait.

She also very deliberately punched in my order too, while asking me if I wanted fries with that. (I did).

And that was the extent of our social interaction.
So I headed on my way back ready to wait for the food (Not that I was going to eat it, nah that was just the Priest lad's share. I'll order something later).

One lonely customer slouches in the booth nearest her. I went ahead and passed by them without giving them a single glance since who gives a tard anyway?

Is what I wanted to do, instead I dropped to the ground the moment I got near them.

The adorable cashier and helpful priest quickly rush over to help me. They both make sure that I'm okay. Priest lad (I should really ask for his name even though I'm certain he told me before and that would be admitting I forgot it) helps me to a sheet as the Cashier stands by and offers a free burger to "Help the sugar and blood come back".

I simply told her I needed to sit for another second. Then immediately look back at creepy slouching stranger dude out of the corner of my eye.

It's complete bullshit and though I answered sarcastically at the Priest's offer. His words about there being a vampire at macdonald's could be true.

Black haired, black clothed, pale skin motherfucker is a vampire no doubt. It can be hard to tell under the halogen lamps that make everyone look dead but the creepy whispering of the people he's killed really give it all away....uh, I guess I got to explain the last part but it was really odd, like I could just hear the words 'Help me' , 'Run away!' , 'He'll kill you!' the moments I laid eyes on him, as if a bunch of people were warning me. It makes no sense at all to be honest.

And guess who's he eyeing at the moment? The cashier girl of course, as if I'd ever let that happen.

I'm sure Priest lad will slay the fuck out of that guy.
While I calmly film it all in the sidelines of course, I'm in no condition to get in any sort of fight right now.

That said there's still a problem though: How to lure him out of here? Priest lad seems confident and says he could easily take the thing down since and I qoute.

「Vampires are easy mode when it comes to monster hunting.
There are about a gazillion ways to kill them.

Fire. Stakes. Garlic.

If you've read it in a book or seen it in a video game, it probably works. Even easier if it's just a spawn like this one...that said if you don't have one of their many weaknesses on hand they can be pretty deadly.

They're stronger than normal people, and if they get their fangs in you you're done for. Not to forget their overwhelming physical and magical strenght and oh in hindsight this person could probably kill all of us in the flash of an eye if I mess this procedure up...」

You could imagine the look on my face when he said that, though he quickly reassured that everything would be fine as long as we followed his plan.

Said plan being 「See the funny thing is that one of their weaknesses is that Vampires can't go places if they're not invited. All restaurants have a universal-invitation-aura (With their welcome signs and all) that mean they can come and go, but if a cashier rescinded his invitation? He'd have to get right out.」

So his plan is to tell the cashier that the lad is a vampire in the hopes that she'll kick him out.

A basic plan really, I don't think it'll succeed but again I'm not the hunter here so I may as well sit back, eat some food and enjoy the ensuing show.

That said, I still don't know what to order. Anyone got any ideas here?

"his plan is to tell the cashier that the lad is a vampire in the hopes that she'll kick him out."

Well that's a stupid as fuck plan. That'll probably just get you kicked out instead. Order some fries, cant go too wrong with that. Then try to think of a way to make the "vampire" cause a scene. IDK how the hell you're going to do this though, you cant draw attention to yourself, but you need to get his out somehow. About those spirits that you said you were hearing earlier, if you aren't hallucinating, it could be that you're just really in touch with the spiritual world, with the poltergeist living in you house and all.

(OOC: Is the cashier Renko doing a side job? just wondering cause the brown hair and cheery attitude make me think of her. Wait if it is her then she might actually go along with the priest's plan. But its too much of a risk that it isn't her)

>>25298

I completely agree with you, though I have to note that the whole spirit thing was me just adding in some fluff to keep things more dramatic in a sarcastic way. Actually, I was being half-sarcastic the whole way through, but that kind of thing does not convey that well in text, doesn't it? Everyone can read things a certain way and, in the end, it is the way we perceive things that in the end can really lead to the wrong conclusions. One should be careful to never mistake personal take for fact.

I am just a normal person stuck in a place filled with weirdos, speaking off the latter I do not think I am going to interfere with his approach anyway. I still have doubts about his competence and the fact he is simply a delusional person out to bully some random fan of the gothic sounds far more plausible in the droll thing called real life.

There is no Santa Claus, pixies, or vampires here. Only sheep wearing the clothes of men. Anyone who says otherwise is either full of it or needs to go to an asylum. At least that’s what I personally believe for even IF some creature like the Poltergeist is a real thing that doesn’t potentially mean everything else is real as well isn’t it? I’d believe such a thought to be quite shallow really and I only believe in the things that I can see with my own eyes to this day. However, those that do believe in it are free to do so for who am I to dismiss them as crazy in my current context?

If he gets kicked out for being a creep, then clearly, he is not the guy who can solve my problem and if by miracle this 'vampire' is the real deal then I've just obtained a few more. I am paid to film stuff and so film his deeds I will, whether they are good or bad. Perhaps I could even share it with you all later if given consent.

I guess one could say inaction is my natural state, but that could simply be an excuse too since watching this man goof his shit up could be a sight to invoke some schadenfreude. But that is enough of me now.

Let us see what he is doing now.

"Hey," he whispers conspiratorially to the girl, having closed the distance already since I typed this.

"Hi!" she says back, not noticing the whisper theme. "How can I help you?"

"That's an easy thing girl. You know that guy in that booth over there?" he blatantly points towards the vampire/goth person, a rude and dumb gesture that his target definitely notices. What a good start.

"Yes?" she replies, waiting for him to continue but not looking towards the person directly. The person is not either, having decided that a nearby wall has become quite fascinating for some reason.

"He's a vampire" he announces, voice so straight and devoid of irony that it is painful to overhear.

The girl does not respond, simply blinking at him a few times. Thoughts like 'Excuse me what?' or something similar coursing through her as she makes sense of the sentence probably, it takes her a few seconds before the words come out "Um what?" exactly the way I predicted them to be.
"Twilight has lied to you. They are not cuddly, sexy, or looking for a young maiden to thaw their icy heart during a long and potentially very spicy paramour adventure with maybe some symbolism" I am not joking, he did say that.

"Uuuuh." It confuses the girl all right, as for myself I am on the edge of my seat for what he will say next.

"Has he ordered anything? I bet he has not. You know why?"

"I'm sorry bu-"

"It's because he eats BLOOD, like many others this creature of the night has felt a call towards this city reeking of evil. There is something hiding in here, waiting to rise again and its howl attracts others too. You should leave this place if you value your life" Frankly, I have half a regret at letting him speak but I am filled with bemusement too. This man either has no self-awareness or is as dense as a brick when it comes to social customs. I cannot tell which one is worse nor do I care for it.

“I’m really not allowed to talk to customers…about other customers.” And now she’s uncomfortable, shoulders straight, eyes darting to his hands occasionally. She thinks he’s mad.

“Well, I sure don’t want you to get in trouble. I just want to stop him from murdering and eating you.” And she’s fair to feel that way, I’d think the same thing if someone approached me like that.

“…do you want to order something?” And so, she ends the conversation instantly, that was odd if not a bit satisfying to watch. I’ve never seen someone say things like that so directly to someone’s face and it makes me wonder whether he will say ‘I told you so’ if she does indeed become a corpse.

I sure hope not. Either way I signal from my spot for him to order some Garlic Parmesans, not that I care much for fries, them being nothing more than chemical sticks of unhealthynes made by the corporate elite to fatten the sheeple, but at least these have garlic in the name…you guess the rest.

He does order them and quickly makes his way back here. “I think that went well” is what he says to me as he calmly takes a seat again, all relaxed in his demeanour and maybe even looking wise and mysterious if it wasn’t for his words earlier. The way the girl is glancing at his back and then back to me before avoiding eye-contact tells a different story however, one I kindly informed him off.

“What do you mean? She was perfectly kind to me.” He didn’t believe me; the fact one would question things he says because they are ‘true’ seemed like an alien concept to him. Why would you not try to antagonize someone who’s sanity you doubt? Why would you stay polite towards people that with a single complaint could cost you your job if you do not keep that smile up? His lack of self-awareness and view of the world reminded me of the purity a child would have. It disturbed me to my very core, but I didn’t show any of it, simply eating my due with a voracious appetite as my gaze went back to the corner of the room.

The alleged ‘vampire’ glanced back at the same time, our eyes meet and for a moment my world starts to feel a lot lighter, like a spell had been cast on me that lets me walk among the clouds, I felt happy and safe for I had nothing to fear, this guy was completely trus-a painful sting on my cheek ended it all. The pain returning my reason thanks to the taste of the priest’s backhand. I clench my fist to return the favour, none too happy with that. “Calm down buster, your eyes looked all empty and charmed so I had to wake you up.” I didn’t follow “Oh really? Have you never heard of a charming gaze? I was certain that was a popular vampire power. You know the whole look into their eyes or let them say your name and you’ll become helpless to them, if not putty in their hands. Willing to do anything for them until they decide it’s dinner time.” it took a few more seconds but soon I could see where he was coming from, some part in me still didn’t want to believe what he was saying but frankly a majority inside me wasn’t that surprised. I already had a poltergeist so fuck it why aren’t there vampires? Throw werewolves down the lot why don’t you!? “Calm down friend, we still have a job to do” he points at the vampire who isn’t there.

He points at the vampire who isn’t there, for he’s already moving towards the Cashier. Our cover already blown, he plans to charm his snack and leave as quickly as possible. “Exactly, but one thing our cover isn’t blown that badly. At least not yours...” I didn’t get what he meant to say, but when I did, I didn’t like it either. He wanted to go into the bathroom to prep something ‘magical’ up while I distract (act like bait) the creep to buy him some time. Clearly that’s something I can’t possibly accept to do but…

“Don’t you trust me? It’ll only take a minute” the way those words came out of his mouth had a hint of authority in them, reminding that although he’s friendly and quite generous. He still has paid for my services, and a cameraman once paid never refuses to do a gig. No matter how dangerous it may be…goddamit and he already started walking towards the bathroom, why give a choice huh.

Guess I must do this then I thought reluctantly and with the elegance of a pelican. I quickly stand up from my seat, smash my knee against the table, keep the curse in and quickly hobble my way towards him. Stopping right in front of him while leaning against a wall as…’seductively’ as possible? I had no idea what I was doing okay but I frankly remember saying something along the lines “Hey handsome~” as greeting, confident in my superio-okay I just fucked up the first impression, that’s it.

The guy let out a rude “hmph” as if I were nothing more than garbage as he took a glance behind me to seek the more succulent prey, prey that had moved to the storage room to clean some stuff up quickly I assume for she wasn’t at the cashier. He moved to the left only for a table to become my new leaning spot and then to the right only for the wall to help once again support my body, how clumsy of me. Seeing my demeanour, the vampire seemed confused for a moment. Only to realize upon seeing my blushing face (I was holding in air) and rhythmically swinging booty (I have no excuse for this) that I was indeed trying to flirt with him. It was an embarrassing experience that made me want to die if it wasn’t for the fact that nobody but the cameras on display saw me acting this quirky at 11 pm. It was just me and the vampire, so I committed the final deed and showed my neck. It’s veiny and flushed appearance was enough to catch his attention in a more solid way as he stopped trying to move past me and instead came closer. Trying to look me into the eyes as I instead stared at his nose, trying to not become mesmerized once more and desperately praying in my head.

He must have thought that I’d gotten nervous the moment he returned my interest. For he smiled as he put a hand on my hips. “You have one hell of a body,” opening it all with a compliment to establish a positive tone, “The booty’s especially bountiful if not…a tad fatty” only to insult me over something he thinks I’m sensitive about, trying to make me more insecure and easier to manipulate in the process. “But I love them that way” ending it all with a pseudo-compliment, making it hard for me to call him out on the insult, soothing the insecurity caused and establishing himself as the authority on whether or not my body was likeable. It’s a pathetic trick only the lowliest pick-up artists would use but then again when you’re a fricking vampire you don’t really have to try now do you. All this guy needs to do is look me in the eyes and bam that’s an easy meal slash lay slash whatever they do, I can only hope that whatever the priest is doing, he’ll do it quick before I lose heart and let the scum go back to his primary target if he even will at this point and oooh….

It was that very moment that I realized the situation I was in. And it was also the moment I froze up in fright, my but stuck in the air like a hunting cat about to pounce. I really fucked it all up again and this time I might not even survive it. The urge to cry or say that I was just joking came to mind, but I knew that bridge has already been burned. “Oh…uh…I…. thanks?” never did I feel so vulnerable.

Somehow that attracted him even more, he leaned forward. Putting his hands on my hips to enter my personal space, establishing intimacy, and does it without asking to establish dominance as well. “I like that outfit you’ve got, but the silly hat doesn’t really match...” this is yet another compliment with a hook—he says something nice about me, then criticizes it to keep me off-balance. Which is once again a pathetic display you should not try as FYI my hat is an amazing hat that I wear because not only does it protect me against cold and sun, but it feels nice to have on me.

Of course I couldn’t say this because I was already established as the submissive one and so had to abide by my role. I said something along the lines off “Oh. Well. I just, uh put this on” and looked down dejectedly as if what he said had a real effect on my confidence. His hands lowered a bit more “You’re far too pretty for this place,” he tells me, hands THIS close to my butt. Feeling that I’m submissive enough to process to solid compliments “I know a club down the block, let’s go there.” He is trying to get me alone so he can murder and eat me or eat me and murder me, something in that order…and at this point my fear started to reach an all-time high. Never in my life had I had to face such an intense and impossible situation before, and I wasn’t certain whether or not my hermit lifestyle used heart could take more of this.

The answer was it didn’t, as it didn’t need to. I simply had to stand up, stop my nonsense and dump him right here and now and he would probably not instantly murder me for being a tease. Or I could simply take him towards the bathroom and hope that the priest lad was ready with whatever he was doing. But if he weren’t or if the vampire grew wise of what I was trying to do then I’d be dead either way…the decision I had to make was one that could affect my entire life from now on so I….

So I…

I’m sorry, this is just…the next event gave me a new level of embarrassment even higher than this and I don’t feel like I could share it yet with a bunch of strangers on the net. I’ll try to give a summary later or if I don’t and simply skip it over then I wish for none of you to mention this incident ever again. I swear I’ll delete everything and just quit this on the spot if you do. Don’t think I won’t for this should not come back ever again.

Goodbye for now.

I'm away for like what? 3 or 4 days or so and once again someone uses that absence as an excuse to pretend to be me? I'm frankly dissapointed in all of you.

But fine, if you're going to be like that then expect my next posts to be in /Others with an actual tripcode.

Because clearly you cannot behave yourselves.

Shameful, to think that two people are impersonating me at once.
So anyway, I was hungry during all this so I ordered a pizza. Then I opened the pizza and then Kana or whatever her name is comes out and hits me with a go sign.
Ridiculous occurrence I know, I hardly believed go signs were real either, but here we are.
So anyway, Jeri hits me with the go sign, and of course I die as I am a pathetic squishy op and she is a ghost or something. THIS IS UNPLEASANT. So I order another pizza because stress eating makes me feel better and then she pops out of this one too, and I'm getting sick of it now so I says to her: "What the fuck janet, can a man not even have a fucking goddamn pizza anymore you spiteful sceptic cunt?!" And then she has the gall to act like she's the aggrieved party and then SHE hits ME again with the stop sign.
So of course I'm done with this shit, this is domestic abuse, so I call the cops and I tells em "I've had it up to FUCKING HERE this fat cow Margret keeps FUCKING HITTING ME!" and then they ask if anyone is there and hang up, cause I'm a ghost now see? She already killed my ass in line 2 of this post.
But anyway, that's getting me over there so I try and grab some salt from the kitchen, gonna show this weevil motherfucker how she likes being "Marcille Flambe in HELL" when I purify her ass, but cause I've only been a ghost for half an hour at this point and I ain't got no practice, hand goes right through the mill, fist closes around the salt, searing burns all around the inside of my hand and I had to type this entirely with my left one.
Whaddami gunna do about this?