Newbie: >>/shorts/2148
SFW: >>/shorts/2149
NSFW: >>/at/38287

Hope nobody else was planning to start it, as I used the date the last yearly contest holder used. As a point of no return contest, I mean.

The deadline for entries is on the 16th of September.

TWO WEEKS LEFT AND I STILL HAVEN'T WRITTEN ANYTHING AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

>>15106

I'm sure you'll make it! Don't think of it as just two week. Think of it as an entire two weeks.

>>15107
>ordering cheeseburgers with literally nothing on them
Sanae confirmed for patrician tastes our plebeian minds can't comprehend.

Oh boy, an ENTIRE two weeks left! I still have plenty of time to slack off and play games instead of writing.

I planned on submitting close to the deadline for proofreading purposes, but due to circumstances, I will be unable to do so until the 22nd. If possible, I'd like to enter then (I'd be ready by then.)

If not, I'm fine with being dead.

>>15111

Sure, I suppose. As such, unless everyone has objections, the deadline for entries is now the 22nd of September!

>>15112
>WHY CANT I HOLD ALL THESE SEALS

>>15113

>>15112
THERE'S ALWAYS AN EXTENSION. ALWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYS

21 hours until the contest's deadline! Post now or forever hold your peace!

That's a wrap! If you get your entry in before I get around to listing them, I'll make a begrudging exception. Otherwise, entries are now closed!

If you request an extension before then, I will glare at you but eventually accept.

>>15121

Yeah, gonna need a little more time to finish mine up, so thanks for the extra extension!

>>15122

As they didn't state a date, submissions are extended to the 30th at 00:01 Voting starts then, and voting will end on the 15th!

3 days remaining on the extension.

>>15122

You have 14 hours and 37 minutes until the deadline.

But not yet. I need to list out the entries for voting purposes, and am busy at the moment.

Fuck! Missed the deadline by an hour!

>>15128

Ehh, close enough. I haven't posted the list, so it's fine to count it.

The voting deadline is the 15th. There will be no extensions, as the contest is already running longer than I would have preferred.

SFW

>>/shorts/2150 Youkai Academy Part 1
->>/shorts/2151 Youkai Academy Part 2

>>/shorts/2152 Eyes On The Road

>>/shorts/2153 Paper Koishi

>>/shorts/2154 Cirno and Daiyousei, Sitting in a Tree

>>/shorts/2155 Prey

Newbie

N/A

NSFW

>>/at/38310 Sins Of The Saigyou Ayakashi

>>/at/38311 Peculiar Picqueristic Perversions
->>/at/38312 Peculiar Picqueristic Perversions Part 2

I'll give each story I am qualified to vote for a short review and touch on anything I see that could use work. That said, the NSFW stories aren't my kettle of fish, so I may or may not end up voting on that. That is, if I end up not liking either; I will most certainly read them regardless of this fact, however.

SFW

Eyes On The Road - It was enjoyable for more reasons than one; I liked the tone, and I liked the theme. You set the stage with that tense tone, which made the mysterious theme of uncertainty, fear and danger take center stage. At first I was worried it might not be enjoyable, but I was surprised to find that the long-winded sentences at the beginning were left at the door, and was soon at the end with a distinct want for more, even knowing it was no longer than it had to be.

Cirno and Daiyousei, Sitting in a Tree - Two issues: one, you should work on your usage of commas and periods. Punctuation is an important aspect of writing, and I saw a few points in which a comma was needed. As for the second, well, you simply forgot a line break; no biggie. That said, I really enjoyed the sweetness of this little story, and am glad to see Cirno treated with respect. Dense and quick to assume the meaning of words suits her far better than the blatant stupidity that other authors might give her. It's a subtle hint of the markings of a child, not the trapping of a fool, and I appreciate it quite a lot.

Prey - Good lord yes. Monster Hunter? In my Touhou? I never thought I'd see the second coming! Ohh, I want more, and I wanna just give you a nice big hug! The main errors I caught were in the end. I spied a couple of what seemed to be typos around there, though it was overall a solid story. The group had chemistry, and I could just tell that there was potential for there to be more to it. It's a tough thing, choosing just one of the three, as I loved them all. That said, you get my vote!

[X] Praying for more Prey

NSFW

Sins Of The Saigyou Ayakashi - I'll be honest, this and the other story are not ones I wanted to much read, as the tone is equally grim between the two. With that said, now that I have read it as something more than a skimming, I have to say I like the story. That isn't to say it is perfect, though I am certain it could be better with more practice. You've used periods as one uses commas and used commas in places they aren't needed. There was also a point near the end where I had to stare at the mangled words a while to figure it out, but that too is not a terrible crime. One last thing, though: be more clear with the reader. I wasn't quite sure what all was going on up until about halfway through the story.

Peculiar Picqueristic Perversions - That disclaimer both makes me shake my head and not want to read, while also making me curious as to how that combination of things mixed together would even turn out. It just reminds me of those idiotic trigger warnings things are getting nowadays, so it isn't necessarily your fault, assuming that isn't your intent. If it is, then I give to you my ire. That said, let me go read your story.

...Ohh.

Ohh, my.

Welp, you don't really need any pointers, and in fact could likely give me a number of the things. I was expecting a rushed, brutally violent story that one might normally see when a deadline is involved, and yet I was pleasantly surprised. I found a well done story better than many of the others, regardless of which category they might be from. I liked the pacing, and, more importantly, the plot was honestly fairly believable. In fact, it was downright enjoyable, not to mentions the characters easy to relate to regardless of their deviant tastes. The only thing I can give as advice is to double check your codes for italics and such, as you left one without the slash. Although, perhaps more line breaks is one thing I can say. Your paragraphs are a bit longer than I would call the norm. Perhaps they are a normal length by your standards, but some nearly take up half of my viewing space. I feel that cutting some of them into two would improve readability. There were also a couple typos as well, but they were of little consequence in such a lengthy work as this. Two words of what feels like over twice that many in thousands is a very good amount to keep it down to after all.

[X] Pecs Perilously Punctured Perfectly

[X] Paper Koishi

This shoulda been a real vidya.

>>/shorts/2150 Youkai Academy

Stereotypical story with above-average quality that I could easily see as a long running, popular story. A few errors (guerilla warfare, heh) but nothing that practice won't fix.

>>/shorts/2152 Eyes On The Road

An interesting short that made me realize, yet again, how much this tone is needed on the site.
A few noir stories scratched that particular itch but... They're long dead.

>>/shorts/2153 Paper Koishi

Highest writing quality in the contest. Very funny but not too engaging- for my particular tastes anyway. Still deserves the prize.

>>/shorts/2154 Cirno and Daiyousei, Sitting in a Tree

Surprisingly enough, another story I could see as a running story. The start of a relationship is a good end for most stories but it also make a good beginning. How much would their everyday lives change with this? Do they understand the changes that love brings to the table? Will this alienate them from other fairies or friends? Will everyone start butting in with well meaning-or not- advice?
The possibilities are, as they say, endless.

>>/shorts/2155 Prey

YES! I was expecting a Eirin Tewi Youmu and Miko team, but this works just as well.
A few mistakes and weird pacing, but I'm a sucker for crossovers.

Anyway, my vote goes for [x] Gensokyo Hi- err, Youkai Academy.
It might not be the better written story or the most fitting for a contest, but it is the one I'd like to see more of the most. And, after voting on so many contests, I feel like voting with my heart instead of my brain this time around.

Honor mention to Paper Koishi though.

>"Know your place..."

...Heh Well, I think that's decided what I'm voting for. Reviews sometime, but for now...

[x] Marisario+Flanpire Youkai Academy

FUCK YEAH CROSSOVERS

With that out of the way, have some reviews:

>>/shorts/2150 Youkai Academy

Now this is one highschool AU I might actually read! Unzan is fabulous and Rin as Shizuka is adorable. I wish there was more of it just so I could see who you cast as who.

Could do with a bit of spit and polish, but otherwise solid as a rock.

>>/shorts/2152 Eyes On The Road

Great piece, great writing, read it with a nasal NY accent and it's perfect.

>>/shorts/2153 Paper Koishi

I've never played Paper Mario, so a decent chunk of it goes over my head, but then you drop a Monty Python reference and I nearly spit my tea. You do good work.

Gets a bit wobbly toward the end though; you lost me somewhere around "sunlight".

>>/shorts/2154 Cirno and Daiyousei, Sitting in a Tree

I came in expecting memes and found d'awwwww instead. Awkward, but cute.

>>/shorts/2155 Prey

Character list sounds like it was picked with a random number generator, but it works, somehow, and more Monster Hunter is always a good thing.

This one also got worse toward the end. Nothing a bit of proofing wouldn't buff out though.



All great stories, but I only get one vote, and despite my love of crossovers I have to give it to

[x] Eyes On The Road

simply because it does what it set out to do, no more and no less.

Not in the mood for lewd right now; might add a vote on that later.

[X] Paper Koishi

I'd certainly play it. Failing that, at least have a vote for a delightful story.

7 days till the deadline!

>>15143

It'd probably be better than the more recent actual Paper Mario Games.

>>15145

There were games after Thousand Year Door?

>>15146

No. Thousand Year Door was the end of the Paper Mario series. The games with "paper" in their titles thereafter have been proven to be a plot by the Russians to destroy Nintendo. Don't be misled by the Alternative Facts populating Wikipedia.

>>15147

Man are those Russians bored...

And then I shall announce the victors!

[X] Eyes on the Road
Very interesting premise, very good execution, a darling combination. So this gets my vote.

>>15165
Er, wanted to add that the story would make for a really nice short series in /others/. I'd like to see just how deep in shit our driver can get.

[x] Eyes On The Road
I don't like noir, but it was tolerable, which is more than I can say for everything else.

No NSFW vote because neither was that good.

Woops. Almost forgot to vote.

[x] Prey
[x] Peculiar Picqueristic Perversions

Lemme tally votes and I'll get back to you guys.

SFW

[3] >>/shorts/2152 Eyes On The Road

[2] >>/shorts/2150 Youkai Academy Part 1
->>/shorts/2151 Youkai Academy Part 2

[2] >>/shorts/2153 Paper Koishi

[2] >>/shorts/2155 Prey

>>/shorts/2154 Cirno and Daiyousei, Sitting in a Tree


Newbie

N/A


NSFW

[2] >>/at/38311 Peculiar Picqueristic Perversions
->>/at/38312 Peculiar Picqueristic Perversions Part 2

>>/at/38310 Sins Of The Saigyou Ayakashi


Drat! I nearly half tied with myself! Congratulations to the winners for their lovely stories! Eyes On The Road and Peculiar Picqueristic Perversions, step forward to claim your prizes! You each get the promised crapmission, so just say what you want drawn.

Anywho, that said, it's now time for the authors to step forward and claim their stories.

>>15169

Talk about cutting it close...

I wrote Prey. In three hours.

It shows.

I wrote the questionable consent of cherry blossoms that is Sins of the Saigyou Ayakashi. I had the idea among many others. I considered writing on the late stage of the story content, but decided it didn't quite make sense. But nothing quite makes sense in Gensokyo, so I guess it was a possibility I could've continued on. I decided to write what was written now, and the result failed to take votes.

And why do I torture Yukari and Yuyuko? Because I love them so much, I guess.

Back to writing other stuff.

I wrote Cirno and Daiyousai, Sitting in a Tree.

I wasn't planning on writing an entry originally. But then I saw that there were only 3 entries after the deadline for the annual writing contest was extended twice. That was just sad and kind of pathetic, so I decided that I wasn't going to stand for it. With only a few hours to go before the final extended deadline, I slapped this story together, quickly found a somewhat fitting picture, and posted it with only minutes to spare. Since I only spent 3 hours or so on it, I'm not surprised it didn't get any votes, but at least it turned out enjoyably cute.

I haven't given myself a name because I haven't written any CYOAs, but I entered some previous contests in the past, which is why I entered the veteran category. And even if I did qualify as a noob, there were so few entries that I would have been lumped in with the veterans anyway.

I wrote Eyes On The Road basically overnight one night just to break my dry spell–I wanted to post something, anything that wasn't just more stalling. I've never written anything noirâtre before, so I'm glad people liked it.

Please draw Youmu holding a goose with the colouration of a mallard duck while her wet skirt clings to her butt.

I'm responsible for the tragedy that is Peculiar Picqueristic Perversions and I am immensely confused in this moment. For some reason, I have votes; yet more confounding is I have all the (2) votes and somehow won. I earnestly expected I'd be sitting in the place of the other story while I was writing this.

I hadn't even meant to write anything initially. Halfway through the first deadline, someone else gave me the general idea, plus a few others that helped inform the first half that sets the porn proper up. I took those ideas, removed any trace of levity or mirth the things might have had (They were far more lighthearted as presented.), and put forth the results. As a story of Yuugi learning she's a subby little thing, eager to be stabbed? Pretty okay, I guess. As porn about Yuugi getting stabbed and it being hot? Thoroughly underwhelming, as best I can tell. Actively avoiding going full guro was attempted, but it really feels like the stabs themselves want for more because of that; it's a poor middle ground. Couldn't really add more detail to fix it in a two post story, already had to cull maybe 2K words or so just to make it fit. Brevity is not my strong suit, alas.

Regardless of those musings, I've donned no name 'cause I shouldn't, really. Haven't even written for a contest before, let alone putting forth a CYOA or other story. I submitted it to NSFW instead of Newbie despite that because, well, porn should fight porn. If I've erred grievously in this assumption, do strip me of the victory and hand it off to the other guy for my damning newness. Not winning would honestly make more sense to me than the present reality. If not, however, then the art I shall request is Remilia, wine bottle of blood labeled 'Oni' in hand, looking over at Sakuya with an incredulous stare of "Why did you collect and bottle this for me?" Optional excess stock of more behind Sakuya would be amusing, if it's not overmuch trouble.

>>15174
> only spent 3 hours or so on it
> posted it with only minutes to spare
> didn't get any votes

>>15136
>>15134
>>15135

Youkai Academy was actually more or less a pilot I wrote in two sittings. I figured that I'd slap together what I could manage and end it at a satisfying moment to see how much interest it would draw.

It does get tiring to have three votes per update, so I figured I'd go for an easier story, in a style I'm more used to.

Still, I plan to start the story in earnest pretty much on the first of the month, though will post it well before the first and likely update it once or twice by then. It'll be in /other/, and I'll be using it for NaNoWriMo.

I also co-authored another entry, but I'll let my partner talk about it first.

>>15177
And people wonder why our writers are depressive.

>>15175

About 50% done with the line art so far. The hard parts are more or less complete, so it shouldn't be much longer of a wait.

>>15175

Alright, I did my best. It's more horrible than I expected, but I managed to get you your sexy mallard... goose. The coloration is all sorts of bad, but I did all I could managed. Just remember, I called it a crapmission for a reason; my art's noooot the best.

>>15183
Amazing. Fucking beautiful.
You may not believe me, but I needed an image like this for a specific purpose I can't mention and this hits pretty much all the particulars, so I'm awfully glad to see this.

>>15184

...I'm... not quite sure if you like it, or if you hate it. The picture of Sagume makes me even less sure, too.

>>15176

Next, you.

>>15185
I like it.

>>15186

Woot! I'm glad!!

>>15185
I am the recipient of that specific purpose and all I will say is Summerfield willl be tormenting me over the next year with this.
So yeah, you pulled it off perfectly, go fuck yourself, etc.

>>15185

I have stood sharp, silent vigil over that specific purpose for countless millennia, and all I will say is that your actions have doomed us all, mortal. To think, all the careful machinations of your planet's would-be savior undone by a single picture.