[x] The utensils behind you could be sharp enough...if you were too lean back a bit then perhaps you could grab one and cut your ropes free.

Indeed, out of all the options this one was the simplest and least outlandish of them all. This wasn’t the time to test your limits or to try and come up with some quirky random action that would only work if all off the stars aligned.

No, this was a bid for survival and survive you will.

You wiggle in your chair a bit to test its leanness in a way, if you were to push it too far you could have bashed your head against the table resulting in a deadly injury or have some of the sharp tools fall on you after a failed chair dive or perhaps even broken one’s neck from the impact of hitting the floor with your full body weight. Even in this optimistic moment of silence there were many ways for your body to succumb were you to leave it to random chance.

Such is the nature of a human’s body, but you are a smart one. Deceitful if need be or Honest when it was more convenient. All problems were just a question of what you wanted, what did you have already, and how you would use the latter to obtain the former. A true survivor in words.

After confirming that the chair hits some part of the table, you try to reach for one of the utensils…but they are barely out of reach. However, you refuse to give up and put more force into the feet making the chair barely hop a bit closer and that was just the distance you needed.

Your hands closely tied to the back of the chair managed to barely grasp the surface of a knife and almost let it slip from the table before properly grasping it! Now all you needed to do is cut these ropes off.

…Your hands were positioned awkwardly, palms touching each other so you had to be careful with the slow, methodical and ultimately very repetitive gestures of moving the knife back and forth, back and forth, back and forth until the rope showed actual sign of getting looser.

Who lives here anyway? And Why did they kidnap you? Never mind the second, How did they even get you? These thoughts were what distracted you as you repeated the dull gestures over and over and over and over for indeed the rope was an sturdy one and a knife meant for cutting fruits, breads and the occasional meat was horribly underqualified for the job it was supposed to achieve with the rope…but you ha-Oh it’s done!

You get up and massage your palms a bit, they felt sore and hurt a bit since all that effort also had to expose them to the constant rubbing of rope. Which doesn’t really demand an explanation since you were familiar with them.
Your back and feet felt like they were asleep but you could walk and pick up stuff just fine so it didn’t matter. The feeling in them would eventually return.

Now then, that is the first step of your escape done successfully. All that was left was leaving the primary location before your would-be chef returns…or were they perhaps watching you along? That was indeed one of the quirks some of the more theatrical maneaters tended to have, they could be watching you from the window, or perhaps under the bed? That did seem like a place someone your size or lower could hide beneath in…if they were hiding at all instead of waiting right outside the door. Your reward for escaping the room being certain death anyw-Enough.

Your emotions were almost getting to you, but you cannot let them. You must not submit to those lesser feelings. Sure, you were in the maneater forest and yes once the sun finally comes down your odds of survival would become slim to none but it was more efficient to Act than wail about how the world gave you an unfair deck.

A minor chill comes over your back, a breeze from beneath the door had entered the room which all but guaranteed it indeed led outside…but without your clothes hypothermia could become a real threat alongside the many not bare feet friendly obstacles and forest c-NO you were wailing again.

Now was time for another course of action. The second step if you will.

[x] Inspect the room more thoroughly, get perhaps an improvised cover for your body if the owner did not have any other clothes they owned.

On second thought that’s something you can already do without trouble and so you try it, the floors creaks under your step as you explore every corner of the room.

No cloth closet or anything like it was to be found, this indicated whoever lived here must feel satisfied with the clothes they spawned with however the fact they bad books meant they could read. Yes, why do monstrous creatures come with their frilly dresses was a valid question but it was one to be asked when you were no longer in threat of death.

For now the red bed sheet of the guess what would do, you put over your entire body but it only covers you from shoulders to knees. It felt a bit like wearing a superhero cloak but again that thought was redundant too.

Now was really the time for the metaphorical and physical second step.


[x] You would leave the premise simple as that, open the door and hope it isn’t locked.
-[] If it is locked then try to slam it open regardless, hopefully it wasn’t too sturdy.
- [] If it is locked then try to find a second key? Maybe they had one

[x] Again, you would leave the premise simple as that. Try to leave via the window.
-[x] If it is locked, then try to break it open. Not with your bare hands of course but maybe some heavy item?
-[x] The same search for a key that may not be there.

[x] You would search the premise with even more fervor, pull out every book, look at every angle (under the bed included) and overall spend time that could have been spent trying to escape on indulging your curiosity.

[x] You would do something else, something else yes. (Write in).

Those were the options that came to you, and you chose on which to act on.

d leave the premise simple as that. Try to leave via the window.
-[x] If it is locked, then try to break it open. Not with your bare hands of course but maybe some heavy item?

You look at the window, out of the whole place it should be the least sturdy and least risky way of exiting the hut. After all, IF someone was waiting right outside the door then they’d never expect you to climb out the window and uh…the next step would be to find a path back and walk home? Most likely yes.

You walk towards it and try to push it open…only for it to do without any sort of resistance, with some remote awkwardness while trying to pass through it you manage to get outside without a fuss.

Now that was easy, perhaps too easy but who are you to complain about it? Regardless by taking a few steps back from the house (To the behind of it) one can see that it’s not that big after all. It really is just a common shack in the woods made with wood for the layout and stone tiles for the roof, yet that is suspicious as well since only humans knew how to make roof tiles. Guess it meant they either robbed some merchant or managed to buy it directly from the village but regardless a youkai who could make a house was a youkai whose intellect was at least decent making it even more dangerous. Oh, other than that there a small path made of rocks that just lead deeper into the woods but that doesn’t seem to head anywhere specific. Perhaps it was there for the sake of flavor? It did give the house a more homely vibe. The last relevant detail was the sun giving a reddish glint over the house, sundown was close if not about to happen in maybe an hour or two? Jogging in the forest it is.

*Squeeee. The sound of a door being opened (at the Front side) is heard and you immediately hide yourself behind a tree nearby. Seems the owner has come back and it won’t take long for them to discover you’re no longer her. You bless the door for being squeaky enough to have warned you.

“Hey sleepyhead! I’m ho-WHAT!? Where did they go? I was only gone for a minute!” you hear a girly voice (but again almost all maneaters are girls) filled with surprise and confusion at your swift escape. Some more noise can be heard as the squeaky floor tiles told that she was heading deeper in it but other than sound you have nothing to go with. Nor did you want to risk getting closer and end being seen via the window by bad luck.

You look back behind yourself and see that the forest itself surrounds the house as well…wait you already said that but anyway you could probably just make a run for the woods now but the odds of being found by another predator or if heavens forbid have your previous captor track you down is another possibility. You are a well oiled and salted human so for all you know that might give the same scent of a well roasted pig to them. Not to forget their many grander abilities…life is unfair…

*Crash* Oh dear, by the sound of that the kidnapper is having either a hissy fit or looking around every corner of the house to look for you. That might be the perfect time to leave…but another idea comes over you: If the person is so agitated by your absence then perhaps you could wait for them to come out, seek for you in the forest and then take opposite way instead! That would drastically lower the odds of it finding you no? But again, there’s still the oil on you so she might just sniff you out after regaining her cool if not see you trying to hide behind a tree or bush like a wannabe kitty cat…all actions have risks.

But not all is lost, all you must do is find your way out of the forest and into some farm nearby if the village is too far way to cross in this time with your naked foot pace. All you need is a place to survive the night.


[x] You would head out into the woods, the risk felt like 50% either way. Remain here and she might find you either way. A non open terrain were picking one up from the sky is harder is better.

[x] You would hide somewhere nearby, maybe gain a glimpse on your captor that way as well before heading the opposite way of wherever she would go. An immobile target was less likely to be seen.

[x] You would….You would….do something else? True anything within your power was to be considered and so you did the following instead (write in).

May you never become soup.

“Oh, I almost forgot about the fire! Got to turn it out!” or NOT since the girl is about to come back, shit shit shit you know you vowed to turn the situation around but how does someone beat up a little girl? You must decide before it’s too late: LITTERALY Anything would do!!


Uuuh, you could take the chair and swing it in her face the moment she enters? Hoping it’ll knock her out? Or just dump the whole tub of soup in front of her hoping it’ll make her go into despair? “Dudu dudu dududu dudun” her singing voice is getting louder.

Okay think quickly: Smash her head with a table, break her emotionally by destroying her hard worked soup, lie on the bed seducti-EW NO! NO NO NO you are not a child offender! That’s fucking disgusting dear god!

Nevertheless this is the third step for survival. DO YOUR BEST!

[x] Ambush her by smashing a heavy object into her as she enters, the surprise would stagger her if not hopefully knock her out.

[x] Just whoop the whole soup in front of her, if she acts like a little girl then maybe she has the emotional defense of one?

[x] Take a whole bunch of those unknown potions and chuck it at her. One of those has to some sort of acid or something right?

[x] On second thought, just hiding somewhere or leaving the room again would be best.

[x] Write in.

May you never become soup.

[x] Take a whole bunch of those unknown potions and chuck it at her. One of those has to have some sort of acid or something right?
[x] Regardless of the outcome, use the chair. A true bar fight staple.

Right, Right! You run to the right side of the room and take out as many of the potions of whatever out of the closet they're in. Now isn't the time for reading or careful thought out actions No! Now it is war! and you were going to win it.

Green, red, blue you've got a whole bunch of different colored glasses on hand and lean back a bit from the door...just gotta wait for the monster to pass by so she'll be unable to dodge.

"Dee di Dum, Doo di do huh?" she enters the house with a smile on her face but freezes as she makes eye contact with you...awkward, "Oh so you were inside all al-*Crash* MY SHOULDER WHY!?" The youkai is shocked by your brazen throw as it hits the shoulder blade and makes her flinch. Who wouldn't when hit by a bottle flying at a reasonable pace that shatters on impact?

Naturally you were not going to give her breathing room and continue your bottle throwing assault with the fervor of a fish needing a bicycle which is a lot, a really lot of alot by measurement.

"Wu" Shaken out of it by the second *Crash* the maneater frantically tries "Wait!" *Crash* to dodge the incoming barrage by flying up"Stop!" *Crash*, up,down,down,left, left, right, right "You're not supposed to fight back you cheater!" and you pause.

"There are rules?" You speak for the first time since you've been stuck here.

"Uh Y-yeah there are!" not expecting you to stop, the youkai takes a deep brea-*Crash* and you got a headshot this time! it's releasing a red gas too "My eyes! IT HURTS!" Now she's rolling around on the ground and clawing at her own face.

Yo-"I'm going to kill you! I'll make you pay a thousand times for this! You disgusting creature, how dare you hurt me! HOW DARE YOU!? I'll kill you! I'll kill you! KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL!" ….

Congratulations, you've made her so mad she broke into a robot rage. most humans would be dead by now so I guess that's an achievement?

Well whatever, she's being too loud and all that shouting could attract unwanted guests...so you pick up the chair to finish the job….wait a minute.

Yup, she's glowing with some fierce aura allright and you slam the chair into her immediately! you're smart enough to not wait for people to go fullpower and keep hitting her until she stops those shenanigans which she does after like the 30th hit? Damn youkai are some durable dames.

Speaking of durable, so is the chair, you swear it should have broken with all the power you've put into each swing but no the moment there's a crack it automatically repairs itself...guess you took the right way of escaping after all.

"I'......m…..k..i...l……" oh shit she's still conscious after all this? you've been smashing that head the way rabbits pound mochi for like a whole minute.

Oh well, seeing how she's got another rash, a third arm, several burn wounds and what seems to be a lizard tail now? The potions did their job basically. and I guess you're fine for now?

Hurray you survived, you're a hero! Best ending obtained. You're a winner!

Oh wait, there's like a whole forest filled with things like her which may or may not be even stronger or smarter than her. You're not sure if you survived this encounter via sheer luck, guts or wit but hey at least you're not dead.

What to do now though?

[x] Into the woods? there's nothing here left for you (except the attic but who cares about that)

[x] Spend the night here? it IS a house but there's no guarantee the girl won't recover or if she doesn't have any guests expected.

[x] Are you taking anything with you? (Y/N if Y specify).

[x] Anywhere else ya wanna go?

Also you totally like broke a vow of silence thing, so as repentanc- just kidding do you feel like talking more or staying quiet? [Answer here].

[x] Into the woods? there's nothing here left for you (except the attic but who cares about that)
As if we're going to stay the night right next to a Maneater.

[x] Are you taking anything with you? Anything useful for survival; rope, bags, clothes, fire-starting equipment - not to forget an ember from the fire, a knife or a small axe, a bottle or water pouch and a pan or a pot. We're a survivalist now.
Look for personal belongings.
Might be worth looking what a few of the intact potion bottles have in store for us - only if they have a label. Otherwise, they at least have shown their worth as improvised throwing weapons.

You let out a deep sigh and sit on the chair for a breather, the enemy was down but there were still many things to do. Like getting your stuff back such as clothes, weapons, all that stuff that lets one survive a trek though the forest.

Also most of the floor was covered in broken glass now so getting shoes became a real priority uno, you won’t go far if your feet get jabbed into glass shards, sharp rocks or like thorny plants. Any agony of whatever kind was best avoided for later. You’re being a true survivalist now!

Getting up once more you get to action: The closet as always was filled with potions and books but you don’t have any pockets on you right now. the table behind had some salad on it with tomatoes, green leaves and the whatever we all know what a salad looks like, point being that you were clearly supposed to be the main dish which in a odd way makes you relieved to know you won’t be finding the head of any other fellow hidden wherever she put food down.

After a few seconds you realize that just standing around is technically not doing anything and so drop your red semi robe onto the ground so you can put your feet on it and voila! Temporary measure against the floor hazards. You look at the shoes of the youkai but those are clearly too small for you a shame.

This may take a while………………………………………….and it did.

Having taken off the table sheet (which was green) and put a knot in it, you have made an improvised bag of sorts. You know the ones those hobos in those books tend to have which look like picnic cloaks. Inside of it are several potions which they themselves also deserved a proper description.

The *Potions* as you called them, cause they are just that: a bunch of different colored liquids inside fragile jars with numerous effects were not that hard to understand after a while: the red ones burst into fire, the green become gas, blue/dark blue is kind of random? , yellow does weird stuff to the body and the other colors are yet to be figured out…if only these things had labels.

The Rope and Knife were an easy thing to get an hand on, since they were like the first two things you’ve used since you awakened. Sadly, the rope was damaged so you had to put a knot where it was cut and as for the knife weeelll you somehow managed to sort of holster with the youkai’s dumb hat (Since no one expects you to draw it from there then like one’s actual waist height).

Actually, it’d be easier to list what you don’t have! Water pouch (Yes), No axes to be seen (Cause that’s a human tool ), A small bag was found (Probably for a book or two to take out and kind of girlish with its pink color but way too little space to carry all the stuff in it) to contain some stuff in, fire starting equipment (No but yes? There weren’t any embers so it’s safe to assume the girl was a magician or something. Bet she just gathered the wood and casted fire on it or something) and finally your own stuff/clothes (Nope).

Additionally some of the food like the tomatoes were taken since why not, sure they won’t last long but it’s not like you’re going onto a multiple day long journey, you were simply going to go home and pretend this never happened. Maybe share the story with some of the gang on a drunken night.

You look for once at the ceiling and see indeed an entrance to the attic, however there was no real feasible way for you to reach it without support to stand on and that was simply too risky. Not because you could break your neck or what other human fragility but because there was glass on the floor.

“Hmm, yo..You’re not gonna …survive ynkwo?” Ah, the youkai is still on Earth yes, you almost forgot about due to how silent she was but those creatures are indeed a resilient folk. It doesn’t matter if you’d cut them, smash them or even boiled them into pieces since they’d come back the next day just fine.

“Hoi…wa-wat are ya*Splash!*Glgublgbgljug” You drop her into the soup since you did vow to do that and kind of remembered it now, but that was enough.

Regardless of all this nonsense, you take one good look at yourself. You were modestly covered from shoulders to toe with a table sheet ( Which was too big hence you cut in half, one part covering your body and the other a semi inventory bag ), had a girly bag on your right shoulder and a hobo shack on the other (Stick included), some wooden flip flops for the feet and finally ending it with the girl’s bamboo hat on your…well head cause where else your arse? Sarcasm aside your fashion choice was horrid if not woefully underequipped versus any serious element such as say a rainstorm or that’s all you can imagine in a forest like this but luckily for you when you went outside the skies seemed empty of any such indication. Let’s just hope you won’t meet anyone out there who actually knows you or wants to eat you or both even which sadly yes some qualify for.

Beggars can’t be choosers, but you were no beggar you were you!

The You that could make any garbage into gold!


Now then are you ready survivor or is there something else left!?

[x] Into the woods! (Choose a number between 1 and 4 by the way)

[x] One more thing! (Specify what)


Short summary: Anon woke up, managed to escape in 1 minute or so from their bindings and went outside, sneaked their way back into the house, beat up the youkai who kidnapped them and turned them into soup instead and are now wearing various goodies and stuff before facing the Youkai Forest.

Some part of me asks if that fails to be spooky enough for the real spooktember or not but hey, we still got more occasions/obstacles until you’ve reached true safety fellow readers. I hope you’re enjoying yourself just as I am enjoying writing this down.

[x] One more thing!
Alright, so hear me out. The chair. Yes, I'm serious. If it has magic to fix itself, then can you take parts of it to just use as like a torch? Or can you straight up set a leg on fire and it will function perfectly like a candle? This anon has to know!


You look at the eponymous object: The chair. Your Alpha, ergo the beginning of this all this…OF WHICH THERE SHALL BE NO END!
You kick the chair HARD at the declaration and watch as it falls over and gets damaged due the force, only for whatever damage to be repaired shortly afterwards. You forgot it could do that for a second and it gives you an idea!

You drag the chair outside and try to break it into pieces, it’s a hard effort to accomplish since if you don’t kick it every 3 seconds whatever damage is done gets healed faster than you can hurt it. After half a minute a leg shatters.

You pick it up and hold it in the air dramatically and can feel a force behind it trying to reunite itself with the main body as if forced by a magnetic pull. Yes, you followed Kamiwashara’s classes back when you were a wee lad, though you were never able to properly spell her name due to it having too many A and S’s in it. Utterly ridiculous name I know. How come she doesn’t look a drop older anyway? Such a mystery was to be solve-the weight of the leg suddenly changed and forced you to use both of your hands now.

What was once a leg was now a second chair in your arms, you’d ask how this is possible the fact remains magic is and always has been beyond the understanding of the common folk. Of which you are a part off.

Either way let’s properly think about this: The chair repairs itself whenever it’s damaged. And whenever a part of it is separated and not retrieved it itself turns into a replica of the same chair the way the seed of a tree would grow.

This could be useful if you ever needed firewood, speaking of fire is this thing even flammable in the first place? Let’s find out!

You repeat the previous process to obtain a leg and return to the house to put it under the fire, it doesn’t react for a few seconds but goes aflame just fine after all….it seems to be regenerating? Yet the fire keeps burning the part that would regrow. Taking it carefully with one protected hand you managed to obtain a never burning out torch of sorts? Odd but effective.

With that discovery made, you decide to keep the chair and take it with you as well. Though having to carry it by hand would be tedious if heavily slow one down which could be deadly if a chase were to happen…. hmmmm.
Oh, never mind you can ply it just fine, and so you attach it to your back with the power of rope kind. Think that’s all there was to take from this anyway.

You head outside once more and look at the house one last time, one part of you wants to just tie up the youkai and spent the night there but the risk of the magician escaping and harming you is simply too great. With a heavy heart and marginal courage fueled by the desire to live you head into the woods.

May you never become soup.

May you never become soup.

Nothing really interesting was happening during the walking trip.

Truth to be told that was fine with you, since in this scenario the less things happen the less chances of bloody failure come with it, no matter if it was exciting or intense or character developing. Simply going home is fine too.

As you went deeper/not deeper? Into or ou-you didn’t know where you were going basically other than the fact you were following the sun itself. Since regardless of where someone is the sun rises from the East and sets into the West, the eponymic mad god was the closest thing to a compass one could use here to avoid walking into circles. Aside from the stars at night but then you’d be fucked and you’re no Star Reader anyway…. missed opportunity.

Apologies, that was a non sequitur: The forest was just that: A forest with green leaves and wood that’s brown. The trees themselves reaching heights greater than the village walls and were just thick enough for fairies to build their houses in which they did but you had yet to meet any. The air was airy and very humid though the ground was pretty dry so it couldn’t have rained recentl-tap~ You heard an noise.

You look to the side and see nothing, you could have sworn a bush had been touched by something but for all one knew it could have simply been the wind.
That was a cliché thought to have yet ending up too cautious would make one a prime victim for the one endearing trait among many not so lovely traits this sea of trees and shrubberies had: MUSHROOMS EVERYWHERE!

Now you’re not really against the consumption of such things, but in here any sort of close proximity to em can result in hallucinations, dementia, poisoning and overall losing one’s touch with reality due to the sheer magical toxicity they emanate over the human mind. Sure, magicians LOVE them but that’s mostly cause they’re magical as hell and mages are already loopy themselves.
The fact remained the more stressed you were, the easier it’d be for an illusion to pry into that weakness and convince you it’s real. School thought you that.

Tap~ You turn around again and look at the landscape behind you…still nothing but trees and bushes but you’re certain the noise is real now.

In fact wasn’t the place itself a bit too quiet? No birds chirping or fairies playing with each other nor were there any other wildlife you have met so far.

Technically mushrooms are alive no? you’ve seen many of those so far. Green, red, skull patterned, some were glowing in the dark and sometimes you swore you could feel like some were beckoning you to your demise.

In Maneater Forest: Mushroom eat you, the thought put a cold chill in your stomach…not the cold feeling was in your entire lower body too.
Your temperature was going down for some reason, no that’s incorrect for the surroundings didn’t feel any different and it was more as if your veins were frozen solid. Was this a mental attack or perhaps something else?

Tap~ Tap~ …. the source of the noise stopped being subtle and was getting louder as it’s getting closer Tap~ Tap~ Tap~! it’s coming for you!


[x] Run, you didn’t want to risk it

[x] Stay and confront whatever or whoever it is.

[x] Focus, it could simply not be real

[x] Write in.

May you never become Soup

[x] Since it works in dreams, there's hoping it works on illusions or hallucinations as well... Pinch yourself, rattle those mental faculties awake.
[x] If you are under a spell, focus. If you are not, be ready for anything coming out of these bushes.

[x] Stay and confront whatever or whoever it is.

Tap~!Tap~!Tap~! 10 5 no perhaps only a few seconds were left!

Your body stiffens in fright for what could very well be the last sight of your life: Red eyes with a killer grin looking into your own, hands that ended with cruel sharp claws about to slash your thro-*Slap!*

You slap yourself to regain some clarity and pinch your own cheeks to regain some focus. Self-harm isn’t optimal but it always one of the few ways to get someone out of an illusionary rut.

Tap~!Tap~!Tap~! Tap~!Tap~!Tap~! ….The sound is so close yet you still don’t see anything. It’s actually coming from every direction now, as if trying to dissuade you from running away but you weren’t planning to do so anyway.

You concentrate: Why are you cold? You are well-dressed and it is Summer! Why do you not hear or see anyone else? Perhaps you’re already under someone’s spell. They’re trying to isolate you and stalk you until you’re out of energy perhaps…only to run out of patience and try the direct approach?

Regardless of these thoughts, you put force in your knees and put one hand inside your semi inventory. Ready to throw anything or leap out of the way.

“Come at me!” you bellow with the little pieces of courage inside you.

…..The sound stopped, it kept going and going until it reached the peak of it’s intensity and has now died out. The only thing remaining is the flow of the wind and that dreadful cold you now identify as fear if not pure instinct.


What was the purpose of that? With a sigh you turn around and walk away.


“You shouldn’t be here” A breath comes behind your neck and you jump to the ground immediately, only to hear an giggle “So silly, if you want to-ah!” it backs off narrowly dodging one of the potions you threw behind you “Hiya" A woman's shriek accompanies it which makes you pause

You look behind yourself and try to come off as most intimidating. Which isn’t easy even with the improv martial art pose you’re doing. “Begone Monster!”

“A monster? How heartbreaking” the owner of the honeyed silk like voice spoke with a sad tone, with their smooth skin enveloped by the evening sun to give an reddish glint, hair blacker than the night itself, robes of an pure white like snow which covered her arms and legs who themselves would be lovely if only one could see through clothes: Was one of the if not the most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen in your life “Am I truly so appalling?”

“N-no” You quietly mutter as you look at her dumbstruck, why was she here? How could an woman possibly survive in this domain of demons? If she truly was an woman that is and not some monster in disguise out to tempt you!
“Stay away regardless” you had to keep your guard up.

“Hm” The bea-possibly a monster with the smell of hyacintes looks you up and down which makes your body shiver in response yet whether it’s fear or excitement is unknown “I’d assume if you’re here it wasn’t by pure will now was it?”

You did not respond and took a step back, your heart was beating fast and the cold was spreading to your shoulder level now…it felt like there was only moments left before something within you would break like glass.

“I’ll take that as an yes, now…please don’t misunderstand this” She fidgets a bit as one sleeve covers her face “But night is approaching and I don’t believe you’ll make it out of here in time by foot…”
Again, no response from you. You bit your cheek and feelings of wanting to run away, attack her just to make sure or just embrace her were revolting inside of you each as intense as the other. Feelings that while they grew in your head were slowly dissipating from the body.

“Which is why if you don’t mind…I’d like to invite you to my humble abode” A silence swashes over the field but it doesn’t last “I um am not out here to seduce you or anything like that. But I’d like to sleep tonight with an good conscience…and some company is never unwanted” What? Some part of it was tempting you, not only would you not need to walk no longer but also the sharing a bed with such a ten in the middle of the woods….It was tempting.


Which made it all the more suspicious “Why?” People don’t give out good will like that. No one does in this land. “Why bother?”

“Well….” The woman hesitates “It’s just uh…you look a lot like someone I knew” Uhuh “I’m sorry I know how suspicious this all sounds but you don’t have to decide right now. If you want I can walk you out of the forest. I’d hate it if you were to well…you know what happens to people like us here”.

You take a deep breath but make sure to never lose eye contact with her, on one hand she was intoxicating and you’d love her company but on the other hand you were starting to feel worse and her presence couldn’t be an coincidence to that could it? On another hand the magician from earlier was absolutely confident you would not survive in these woods but why? Sure there were the youkai but perhaps…she poisoned you? Like an snake biting a rat it would only take some time for the venom to take effect and prevent you from moving. That is if she wanted to cook you alive but why then ti-

You were thinking too much and had to make an decision.

[x] Accept her offer, stay the night at her house.

[x] Reject it, Ask her to lead you out of the woods.

[x] Reject her altogether, you wanted nothing to do with her.

[x] Write in.

[x] Reject her altogether, you wanted nothing to do with her.

Some girls are good and some girls are bad, that’s how most men see it anyway. But how do you make sense of a girl like this? She smelled like trouble, the kind of woman you don’t’ trust farther than you can throw them but that musk was mixed with a bizarre innocence the kind which made you want to hold her, hold her tight next to a fire in the winter night while she whispers sweet words of love into your ear. She had the best of both worlds. The perfect body, the perfect personality. the perfect woman.

“I want nothing to do with you” But it is such a woman like this...that works a strong (wo)man's ruin. One comes here, heart whole and confused, with no better experience of woman than is to be learnt at a flower-show or in a sappy novel; with no more familiar knowledge of the creature than one has of the far-away lands of legend and lore known as their neighbors of today, with a vague notion that she is a whirling storm in pink or blue gauze colors, or a graceful doll in display to tempt all those who see it. One come to some place of this kind, and the universe is suddenly narrowed into about half a dozen millimeters; their sense of survival and common sense crushed into a box off fascination and lust. “Do not follow me”

The far-away creatures whom one had seen floating about them, beautiful and indistinct yet alien and born to harm us: the last two natures are conveniently erased under one’s nose; and before they have time to recover from their bewilderment, hey, presto! the witchcraft has begun: the magic circle is drawn around you, the spells are at work, the whole formula of sorcery is in full play, and the fooled prey becomes yet another statistic in the Eastern Wonderland.

In short and simpler terms, love at first sight is bullshit. You know that and have learned said lesson in such a way you’ll never forget it.

The woman blinks for a moment in shock “Excuse me?” she opens her eyes; they indicate confusion if not a harmed pride in their crimson eyes. “I don’t understand what you me- “she took a step closer and that’s all she gets.

You throw another liquid bottle; flames rise from it separating both of you between it. “I said begone maneater. I’m not on the menu” You start to walk backwards separating yourself from the woman’s company, as the distance increases the feeling of cold slowly diminishes which feels like it says you indeed did the right thing. Regardless you stay on guard and continue your travel.


“….Then so be it” The woman watches your departure, fading away in the darkness herself a simple acknowledgement towards you leaves her "May you exit these woods in remote safety...you know where I lie" and she's gone.


May you never become Soup.


So continues your travel in these treacherous woods, the sounds of night life has returned to it’s proper stature with the chirping of the birds, the occasional giggle of some random fairies playing in the distance and finally the sound of water flowing….you pick up your pace and head to the landmark.

But disappointment strikes, there were no willows, no frogs or Shinigami to be found for it was but an humble river. A canal of water coming from some random mountain most likely and leading to…wherever it goes. Survival wasn’t really your main thing for you were no hunter or ranger.

Regardless this was opportune as well in a way for it at least now you were guaranteed to at least not die of dehydration but one more question come ov-

You freeze, another cold feeling comes over you: Several arms pushing you into the ground, the giggling of children filling your ears as the sensation of your stomach being rippe-*Slap!* The fact you had to slap yourself again makes you worried, one really can’t afford to be off-guard here.

as you see something or someone move at the other side of the river. Bushes moved and hints o-and whatever it was slips as their feet collide and they fall into the water with a loud *Splash!* the shriek of an what sounds like a young girl accompanies it.
You don’t move, already several feet away from the source of water you don’t see the need to “Help! HELP!” you keep walking away “I’m DROWNING!!” not one to be fooled so easily by what’s clearly some fake rescue me and dive into the water kind of tr-“The baby, where’s my baby!? She can’t swim!” another voice appears on the other side, what seems to be an distraught Fat? Pregnant? woman appears from the other side looking for the former about to drown soon who’s currently flapping their arms in the air ineffectively.

“Oh no, no no! NO!” the lady panics and tries to pick a long stick or anything as she attempts to fish the struggling child out to no avail. “Stay still sweetie I’m going to save you!” Both of them seem terribly distraught if not actually genuine about their fear.

…Guess that makes them good actors? Regardless their noise is guaranteed to get them unwanted attention if they linger by which you mean you to say…


[x] Let’s go up the river, it may lead to an mountain and that would give an better overview on where the hell the village is.

[x] Try to cross the river and keep heading west, no reason to go off course for now now is there?

[x] Let’s go down the river, they always end somewhere right?

Additionally what of those two?

-[x] Sigh….are chairs floatable? Fish the kid out and be on your way.

-[x] No! these youkai are clever, but you’re not going to fall for it!


May you never become soup.

We all know what will happen when time runs out

No, it was simply too suspicious. A mother and daughter this deep in the woods at this time of day? The mere thought of it was unrealistic, no human would raise a child here so it can’t be anything but a trap.

Yet the seed of doubt comes anyway. Are they going to be fine? Won’t walking away from this be the same as murder from inaction? Perhaps you could help in some way without risking yourself?

Taking a glance at the chair you remember the fact it could duplicate itself and put it down. Then you focus your hips, bend your knees and swing your leg at the chair with all your body weight to back it up! (A neat trick some barfights had taught you) A leg shatters instantly with a loud *CRUNCH*- “AH! Who was that!?” and you’re almost seen by the supposed mother due to the ruckus but safely press yourself against a tree yet what now? She was aware someone was watching them now and looked around like a lost pup “Hello? Please help my daughter! I can’t swim and she won’t hold on any longer!” you decide against it after all “*Sob, Sob* god please give me strength *SPLASH*” and she actually jumped into the river as well.

…Sometimes you hate yourself to no one’s surprise, there were times where some sense off wanting to do the right thing came over you and made you get involved in things where doing nothing was a perfectly valid answer. This was one of those many moments and you hated every second of it! Alas some old habits die hard and one can only hope it won’t lead to your actual demise, literally and not socially since the former already happened. But enough musing now was do time.

You crouch down from the tree and put strength in your arm, enough to throw the piece of wood right into the middle of the struggling people, soon enough it should become an actual chair which would be all that’s needed for both to get back to shore. That’s all they can expect from you here. Were you a crueler sort you’d simply say that it’s Kill or Be Killed in the realm of beasts…but your heart was human and playing outside of the rules is something you were no stranger off? It added some spice too.

“Cough! Cough!” You start to walk off again and can hear their voices in the distance “M-mother? Are we dead?” a small voice says only to be shushed by the other “No, thank the heavens no. I don’t know how or why but out of nowh-“ One can guess the rest of the story but you’re not snobby enough to stay to listen and start walking upstream, the higher you went the bigger the chance of finding some cave to rest in or you could gain enough altitude to actually see above the trees and perhaps just perhaps see the village in the distance? This land was a small place after all and if one can see the entirety of it just from some shrine then who’s to say you won’t be lucky either? Let’s find out now.

May you never become Soup.

This time the trip was a bit more eventful, as you kept walking ahead the floor seemed to become more elevated and the trees more distant from one another up until the point where the air itself started to feel breathable…well it always was breathable but now it’s starting to lack a certain amount of pollen and dust and humidity that was filled in the forest is what you meant. Eventually you feel like you left the forest altogether and ascended on top of some valley? The river has definitely become bigger and the surface of your feet became filled with rocks and stone indicating that yep you are indeed out of the forest of maneaters and in a new location entirely.

You think a bit deeper about it and try to see if you remember anything about this place: River that’s getting bigger and more intense as distance is traveled, elevation becomes narrower and keeps going up. Rocky surfaces and a big, large mountain in the distance…this is the wrong way entirely.

If that Mountain is Youkai Mountain then that means you’ve been increasing the distance between yourself and the Human Village this whole time! You should have gone East! FUCK YOU SUN YOU BETRAYED ME YOU HEATED BLOATED BIT-NO CALM DOWN, CALM down…. breathe in and out.

You look behind you and see patches of grass, dirt and that’s not important: Seas of trees are in the horizon behind, left are trees, right are trees. In the middle is a bigger tree and you’re certain that’s essentially the forest of magic you came from. An intense deep fog covers it preventing anyone to see anything else than its general layout…which kind of compared to where you are now kind of makes you a sitting duck now doesn’t it? The forest had like trees, bushes and other obstacles but right here you’re on some rocky trail next to a river on the base of some mountain ergo if a youkai saw you, they could just go “Hey!” fly aaaaalll the way to you or just pluck you from the sky. That’d be a terrible obstacle to have to deal with honestly since if they just stay airborne then how would you throw anything at them?

Anyway you sit down and sigh, not sure what to do anymore since at this rate you’ll never make it to the village in time, you’re on your feet so even if you had an hour or two it still wouldn’t be enough unless you could outrun an horse or something now doesn’t it?

You start to think of other locations that might be safe: There’s an shop called Kourindou at the border of the forest but you’d have to scale through the whole woods again with the sheer hope you leave at the right end of forest and won’t end up at like just more forest. There’s also like the Kappa’s maybe. If your memory serves right then following the river will eventually lead to a waterfall where their home base is rumored to be…though even if they call themselves friends of humans there’s no real guarantee they won’t just drown you and take your shiki-something.

Legends don’t come out of nowhere after all. Finally, you’ve heard rumors of some aerial tram? That allows followers of the Moriya to go to the top off the mountain with quite the ease? If you were to find it then maybe you could use it and ask the Shrine for Hospitality?
Or just fuck all of it and dig a hole in the ground and hide in there or some shit.

That’s your brainsto- “Hey!” and you leap out of your sitting position, fight or flight instincts kicking your bloodstream into overdrive. Identify your foe firsthand!

Oh, it’s just some dumb fairy “What’s a human doing here?” the mountain variant type clearly with it’s dumb brown hairs, dumb fairy clothes and dumb fairy wings “You lost? That’s not fair! It’s our job to make you so so become unlost right now!” and it’s spouting nonsense at you.

“Go away” you sigh to yourself and lazily wave it off, ready to head off and pretend it never existed.

“Where is away? You go away!” the fairy crosses their arms and frowns.

“Okay” and away from it you go.

“Yes, I won!” and you dodged that encounter like pros dodge bullets, honestly fairies are just a hassle to deal with and anyone who thinks they’re the cutest things in the world is either an outsider, a lolicon or has yet to realize the sheer annoyance one gets out of having their sense of direction robbed at random, having your home ransacked during your absence, having your hard worked crops ruined and many more fairy quackeries. They’re the raccoons of the sky, except fearless and immortal.

“So what do I get?” …For the love off “Winners get prizes, I want mine” don’t shout at the little girl…” Or oh should I rob you then? Yeah, I’m going to call my friends on you if you don’t give the grand prix!”

Is your body serouisly starting to feel a bit cold again? Nonsense, it is a fairy. A FAIRY

Anyway you have more important stuff to do.

Choose your new plan

[x] Try to go to Kourindou, back to the woods.

[x] Try to go to the Waterfall, continue following the river.

[x] Try the uh tram thing? Walk around the foot of the mountain.

[x] write in

And concerning the nuisance

[x] “That's it” Just grab the fairy and crush it. *Pichun* or whatever the noise was.

[x] “Catch!” Just throw something (speficify)

[x] “I’m not in the mood for this, please leave” …reasoning with fairies is pointless but duck it.

[x] write in.

May you never become Soup.

32 minutes remaining until night

Author Disclaimer: The opinion of fictional characters does not reflect my own stance on fairies. They are an neccesity to the nature we all know and love and yada yada yada don't sue me.

Also good weekend!

[x] Try to go to the Waterfall, continue following
the river.
Kappa's are pragmatic people and so is the protagonist.

[x] Inquir-- (that's too difficult of a word for a fairy) ask her questions about the place in a way that makes her feel smart. If she's knowledgeable enough about the location, goad the fairy and make her lead you to the Kappa's den (so you can get un-lost).

You decide on continuing your current path, if anything this Waterfall is the closest destination and most likely the one with least obstacles to boot.
Not to forget that there have been Kappas in the human market before, selling their odds wares and techs at an unreasonable prize or *humble* loans in hopes of getting more reliable customers? They’re just as greedy as the merchants back home so one can say they fit right in our environment. So, the most you must worry about is getting swindled rather than killed or eaten.

There’s no such guarantee outside the village though, or if you’re an outsider but letting one die inside the village would be a bad thing by itself since the poor janitors would have to clean up all the mess they’ve left behind.

The path becomes more rock solid and seems to be leaning down now, walls of rocks surrounding it and the river is uncomfortably close. If anything were to jump out of it, you’d only have a split moment to react on it.

Anyhow a more unpleasant if not cringetastic memory comes to mind, the one in which an old friend of yours had the bright idea to fart into one of their faces. The reason of which was to discover if Kappa’s truly are weak to gasses cause if so then the easiest way to avoid getting one’s anus spelunked would be to unleash the wind train at the hint of the slightest stimulation. Naturally you did not believe that to be truth and the blue haired miss demonstrated a most magnificent wrestling move on them: The Kawada Driver V.

The guy still hasn’t walked to th-“HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!!” a girl’s voice shouts into your ear “Don’t ignore me!” Huh that’s the problem with walking and thinking, sometimes the good old brain gets put on autopilot.

Nevertheless it is time to be rid off this vermin…. or perhaps not?
“What’s your name?” You start off the introduction calmly.

“Huh?” The insect seems startled, but huffs in response “Yama!” so the mountain fairy is called mountain, how original.

“That’s a very nice name, who came up with it? I’d praise them” You lie as naturally as water flows, since offending someone useful is impractical. Though that may change if they are of no use palpably.
“It was me, of course” The mud replies with pride, arms uncrossed “There’s like uuh plenty of others with the same name but they’re all copycats”

“Must be hard to live that way” the conversation already annoys you but you persist until the time has come where you’ll be able to ask a question that serves your purpose while at the same time feigning interest in her to make her keep talking. These creatures will chatt all day if allowed but only on things they actually want to talk about so forcefully asking her about what she knows won’t work. “So, by plenty, you mean there’s lot of fairies around here?”

“Yeah there are a lot of us, like under a rock or in that bush and even in the sky!” She chirps up, interested “We are like everywhere but that’s really obvious. Are you dumb?” and then casually insults you.

“…Heh, sorry miss” you rub the back of your head “Sorry but I’m not really from here so I don’t know much about this place” you wait a second and then rub your own chin in false thought “…Tell me are there only fairies here?”

“Nope, there’s like big woof woof gals and caw caw girls higher up here” So the tengu are here, that confirms the mountain indeed Youkai mountain. “The doggies are so mean though! They act like the own the place and can’t take a joke either, like Yama and Yama by which I mean two Yama’s they’re my friends but also copycat since I’m the true Yama but anyway the two of them once got caught by one one doggy I mean and instead of being *Pichuned* the dog smashed their butts over and over like some pervert” one that’s called being spanked and two they probably deserved it “Either way you don’t want to meet them or they’ll touch you the same way on sight!” Kinky.

You nod “Uhuh” and wait and see if she continues.

She does “There’s also like the kappa’s. they are like uh girls with fancy toys than can do varou-“ She pauses for some reason and then kicks your shoulder in anger for some reason “You ass!” it didn’t hurt that much, more like having an apple fall off an tree and hit your shoulder from a small tree if anything.

“Ow, why did you do that?” You play innocent, as if the damage was emotional taxing as well. What is an emotion tax anyway? And what wou-Focus.

“You ass!” she says in anger “You’re making me monologue!” she pauses gears grinding in her head “You were like super cold at first, and now you’re acting all mega nice which isn’t normal! You want something! You want something don’tcha punk!?” a finger is pointed at your direction as if it’s something dramatic. Damn you were certain they were all braindead.

“Sigh…you found me out”

The pointing becomes pointier “HA! I KNEW it! Now confess you idiot! What do you want!?”

“The truth is…well it’s embarrassing”

“SAY IT! GIVE ME THE TRUTH!!”

“I wanted to know more about you” You cover your face with one hand and look away in modesty, a false blush is too hard to do though. “I-I was just being shy at first but after seeing how cool you were…after seeing how c-cool you were!” You do your best impression of some schoolgirl confessing to their senior crush (you knows the ones) under a blossom tree or some shit like that with all the stuttering and annoying hesitation stuff “Well, I just wanted to know more about you!” Does that count as a confession? Trashy romance novels typically do it like this no? Let’s just hope it goes well.

“Ew” She looks disgusted “So you like little girls?” That massively backfired.

“NO! NOT LIKE THAT! I MEANT PLATONICALLY!” You burst out, dear dragon god you thought that would have pleased her ego “I never said anything like that! Why would you think that!?” Hm, you start to understand it now, a vague confession can be brushed off with some ease and no awkwardness afterwards. But an honest confession can lead to destruction. Well played Agatha Chris Q, Well played. I understand you a tad better now.

“I figured we might become friends; it’d be cool no?”

Yama just looks you up and down for a moment, then sighs “The obligatory fairy companion huh?” Wow a lampshade, that makes you SO CLEVER.
“Well…you seem aware of your place so I don’t see why not. Consider yourself a level 1 friend of mine” where does all that pride come from!?

“So if we’re friends, could you help me then?” Keep up the appearance “Since friends help each other and all that stuff”

“Shoot” She just shrugs and wait I can hear *swwwsh* sounds.

The ground is now a lot moister too with oddly shaped grass, there’s only a few trees now among us and but a few feet away lies a ravine with a stream of blue water coming out of it, there’s a bunch of pipes? Attached to the walls of it and the overall shape of it makes it look like a turtle’s anus. The blue pond is rather nice looking though, some fishes can be seen in it and you swear you can see tunnels underneath it. Guess this really is the Kappa’s hideout.

You approach the pond with caution, still very aware of the tales of those who trusted a kappa near a river a bit too much. Not only that but it’s starting to get really dark now too, some shades envelop the valley itself and it’ll only be a few minutes until one can’t see further beyond 10 steps or so, let’s hope people are home.

“Hey I found something!” the flying nincompoop bellows, hovering above a rock lying before the pond, a red shiny button on top of it. “It’s a button! Button do things! So if I press it then something good will happen!” what logic.

“I urge you to reconsider” you take a few steps back, seeing how her hand is already looming over it. You don’t think she’d listen to you nor do you want to be in the range of whatever it set off. Self-safety goes first after all.

“What does reconsider mean?” sounding confused, she decides to sit on the possible trap with no worry in the world “Huh, it feels a bit warm too. Sure makes for a nice seat”

Guess she’s not pressing it then? At least that’s one problem out of the way.
The other being that there are no Kappa’s in sight anywhere nor do you know if they would appreciate you shouting for them, regardless something must be done.

You'd say you feel like you're being watched but you're not.

[x] Shout out to the Kappa’s, you come in peace anyway.

[x] Tell the brat to get off the b-…actually tell her to press it.

[x] Go somewhere else, there’s still a tiny bit of time.

[x] write in.

[x] Tell the brat to get off the b-…tell her to press it.

Yeah, on second thought it’s best if she does press it, after all isn’t that why she’s here? To act as potential decoy or trap bait while you suffer none of the consequences for it, in a way that could be considered cowardly but to those who think you say At least fairies are immortal you ass .

“C-careful Yama, buttons are really dangerous” which is why you say the opposite with a nervous stutter, like a worried housewife seeing their child do something stupid, insane and inane to their wellbeing. “You never know what they do the silly things”

“Psh!” Yama scoffs at that “You don’t need to worry, I’m a big girl!” she gets up and looks at the button again, the forbidden fruit starting to appeal to her “Besides you’re not the boss of me…so here. I. Go.” And the button is pressed, just as planned. Which wasn’t hard since it’s a fairy.

…. Nothing happe- FZSHZHSZHS!! “WOOOOOOOOWOOHHHOOO!!!” FZSHZSHZSHHZSHZHSZHHSZ an intense light blind you and the sound of the fairy screaming her lungs out hurt your eyes. What the hell happened?

Rubbing your eyes, you prepare for the sight. A sight that one can’t really describe in any way but that of sparkling light and energy enveloping Yama’s body with a wild flux, the occasional bolt of volt sparks out while she’s twitching and spasming, most likely due to the main cause of her electrocution: The eponymous button which her hand was still pressing and which she could not let go off due to the electricity stiffening her muscles. Guess you were lucky to have her this time, if that were you, you’d be dead now. This is what people call schmuck bait these days isn’t it? It’s of rather poor taste.

You wince a bit at the sight “Are you okay?” you know that’s a dumb question, no one who has ever been blasted by lightning has ever felt good from it…aside from a unique audience like those that are made of it you guess? There are rumors that if you were to hit someone with the element, they are aligned to like to say throwing a snowball at a Yuki-Onna then their reaction would be interesting to say the least. “Say something if you don’t need help!” You say with actual no intent to do anything for her.
“I-M F-I-N-E-E-E-E-E-E, N-O-O-N-E C-A-a-aN DE-de-DE-F-E-A-T THE MOUNTAIN!!” Yama regains most of her speech as time goes on, the assault not lessening the least but somehow the fairy isn’t dead yet. “HA! Take that, no Lightning can defeat the Earth! Anything you’ll throw I will just take on!” So, it’s just elemental advantage/resistance/whatever you want to call it. A mountain fairy cannot be killed by lightning for some reason, how odd if not boorish…but you guess that just means there’s more traps she can open up for you if you need her for that. “Can you help moron? I’m kind of stuck here!”

On one hand you kind of wish she was already dead, having her call you an idiot and patronize you was doing a real trick on your ego but you knew deep down that one’s life is more important than their own pride. “No, so sorry”

“What? why!?” her face shows confusion and betrayal “Aren’t we friends!?”

“I didn’t mean it like that” You resist the urge to facepalm “What I meant is: how can I help you in this situation? If I touch you right now, I will die and I don’t know how to turn this device off eith- “*plop* You heard something again and promptly look at the source of the noise.

The first thing you see is blue hair and a green cap sticking out of the water’s surface a few feet from you, second to it is the face of a blue-eyed girl and overall, everything is blue even the clothes except the green bag on her back “Ah!” and she dives down back into the water the two of you make eye contact. Odd reaction but this must be one of the kappa’s out to see what’s happening or something? Either that or it must because of Yama’s commotion.

You turn around for a moment until you feel like eyes are drilling into your back and turn around “Ah!” and yet again the girl dives back into the water. Is that normal or is this kappa in particular just really shy? All the ones you know are cruddy merchants or wrestling fanatics but then again those are from either the markets or bars in the village so your view may be biased.
You don't feel any sort of coldness or bad vibes at the moment, must be because you feel less afraid than you were in the forest or maybe whatever halluconegics however you spell it finally wore off? regardless of that you must not forget Kappas still are maneaters despite this one's oddity.

“HEY JERK! I NEED H E L P!!” Yama shouts at you again but you ignore her this time since you’ve got more important thoughts: That kappa must be one of the people living here, therefore if you managed to gain permission from her to enter then perhaps you could indeed spend the night here! That would solve all of your-well not all your problems but you won’t need to worry about youkai hunting you in the dark at least tomorrow morning if it succeeds.

So first you had to find a way to make her talk to you.

But how will you do that?

[x] Just sit still, she’ll approach us whenever she wants to.

[x] Show her your cucumber, wait do you even have one?

[x] …Help Yama out in the meantime? You have nothing better to do.

[x] Write in.

[x] Wait until the Kappa's eyes bore into you again. Tell her, without turning around, to shut this thing off for a moment / [x] Just sit still, she'll approach us whenever she wants to.
-[x] Otherwise help Yama out in the meantime? You have nothing better to do.

You look at the water a bit more, certain that she is in there and sigh. She’s clearly not going to come out as long as eye contact or what have you ends up being a possibility. On the other hand, she hasn’t attacked or tried to lure you into the water so now the risk of sudden death doesn’t seem to be there…even if that’s the point of death itself: the fact it can happen an-focus.

You mentally tune out the fairy’s struggle and turn around, waiting, concentrating, meditating until the feeling of being watched again drills into your back again. “Could you turn this thing off? We’re not intruders” you say calmly and without emotion as if you actually have the liberty to be here. That kind of attitude tends to let people enter places they normally shouldn’t be able to since most people don’t have the guts to second-guess anyone with confidence. Not to say it’d actually work on Kappa’s but don’t fix what isn’t broke.

…. No response emerges from her, and you decide to do the next thing.

Which is making the fey shu-HELP her since that’s a good thing to do, actually that’s not it either. Anyway, she’s yet to be a nuisance so a little sprinkle of good will once in awhile can’t be that bad to partake in. “Are you okay?”

“Why yes, I feel just peachy” Yama responds perfectly calm, seems people can get used to any- “NOT! How long are you going to take to help idiot!?”

Okay, okay. You think about what to do, perhaps you should pick up a big rock and throw it at her to make her let go of the button? That’d imply bending over to pick something from the ground though…and you’ve read that documentary about how even the smallest of housecats is tempted to attack when someone exposes their back to em. Killer instinct was it? You feel like that’d evoke the same feeling in a Kappa who sees your exposed, unprotected, juicy bottom.
That sentence was weird and unnecessary, so instead you remove the chair from your back, position it the right way and throw it with some force at Yama to hopefully force her to let go of the button without dying in the process.

*CRASH* “YOU PRI- “The chair hits her dead on and explodes when exposed to the electrically charged enerved entity who’s now emerged on the dirt with her face, shards of wood fall everywhere and you have to protect your eyes from any potentially dangerous flying splinters. Still worth it. “…. Nghhh, I’m fine…. just okay!” Yama lies dazed on the ground; she really is sturdy.

Oh well, that’s mission accomplished. Also, you feel something cold being jabbed at the back of your well back. More like as if someone pointed a weapon there for intimidation purpose a-oh shit that’s the exact situation you’re in isn’t it? Not paying attention to a youkai does that. You try t-

“Don’t turn around!” the voice of guess what? A girl says, “It’s dangerous to be on the mountain for humans, so why are you here and how did you do that?” Yup it’s the Kappa from earlier who witnessed everything “The fact you’ve made it here makes no sense either. How did you bypass our sensors and security?” She keeps asking question after question, suddenly emboldened now that’s she got and weapon on you. “Answer these questions carefully”.

Naturally you do “I woke up in the Magic Forest, avoided a few youkais and then decided to climb up here so that I could see the village and hopefully go home” but then one of her questions makes you pause “Also what sensors?” you haven’t seen anything of the sort and literally just walked the whole way here. Was it pure luck or did they just not have anything on? “The last two are magic and I don’t know respectively”. You add a shrug to end the sentence.

“Hmm” She seems to think about it, and then backs off “Don’t turn around” she repeats again even if you weren’t planning to do so “I’m afraid to say whatever plan you had here won’t work. Only Kappa’s can stay at the Genbu Ravine”
Before you can say anything she continues “However that doesn’t mean I’ll leave you off to die in the wilderness! In fact, you’re in luck for our Canyoning services have reopened just last week so for a measly (Ridiculous amount of money) I’ll gladly sent you back to the village via our services” You swear you can hear a snicker when she finishes. Seems greed is also a motivator here.

Problem is you don’t have a single coin on you right now, just the stuff you’ve taken with you and some fairy dazed on the ground. Well forget the latter she served her purpose so there is no shame in ditching her now is there? She was annoying to tolerate anyway and hey your better off solo.

But back to the no money problem.

[x] Can’t she let the first time be for free? Kappa’s are supposed to be the friends of humans or whatever right?

[x] You don’t have money, but she can have all the junk you gathered on your journey instead. That’d be fair right?

[x] You can always just owe her a tab right or pay her after the ride, right? Though owing a Kappa money might ruin your finances later.

[x] Write in.

Still all those options are better than going back and dying.

May you never become soup.

[x] Rummage through your inventory to find a cucumber as an alternative form of payment.
-[x] Otherwise you can always just owe her a tab right or pay her after the ride, right? Though owing a Kappa money might ruin your finances later.

Those are perfectly fine ideas, and you decide to try them out. “I’m going to take something out of my bag” It’s best to warn the kappa just in case, imagine the bad luck outcome that would result from getting shot due to a misunderstanding…well technically she could plead trespassery or whatever fictional events she wants to make up since you’d be too busy being dead to defend yourself.

“And I found it!” out comes the prized possession.

“What are you talking about?” the Kappa says a few feet away “If you’re going to try and bribe me with whatever stuff you found I’d like to say that’s a very rude gesture. I don’t deal with stolen goods. It’s asking for a lawsuit” you don’t know what a lawsuit or her sudden deal is, but you make no remark on it.

“Here you go” You show her a green vegetable, made mostly of water and known as the most favorite food of Kappa’s: The cucumber! “Will this suffice as payment? I don’t have any money on me now”

To specify you’re holding the cucumber behind yourself, hoping she’ll take it since the stories of those who owe Kappa’s debts don’t tend to have wholesome resolutions: Farms converted into only producing Cucumbers, Neat little shops taken over by a larger industry, Shirikodama collection and more convey the fact these creatures are vicious and you mean capital V vicious when it comes to the marketplace.

In short don’t deal with them unless you know what you’re doing or have something worse to lose than possessions and dignity. In your case your life is clearly more important so Eh that is life.

“…Huh” She doesn’t say more, but you can feel from the stare that she is holding her arms crossed in a disapproving gesture or a similar vibe “So what you’re saying is that your own life has the same value as a vegetable?”

“…” You don’t respond to the taunt and wait a bit more.

“…” She sighs and takes it “I’ll lower the prize by 20% but no more” It’s still way above your own funding’s “Then again what did I expect? It’s not like you have any money on your person now now do you?”

“That’s correct, can I owe you a tab or perhaps pay later?”

“Yes, but I was about to get to that anyway” The kappa seems to be doing something, but I can’t see it due to facing away. Meanwhile she gives you the customer spiel. “Okay, so to clarify in exchange for the beforehand stated amount of money I shall guide you down the river. Change the trajectory to the Canal of Willows instead of the Misty Lake with some minors do this and do that’s and will guarantee that you’ll arrive at said destination safe and sound (The term of safe meaning still alive in this case). Afterwards just walk all the way to the village (Shouldn’t be too hard since it’s nearby) and take a nap for all I care for the very next day (At exactly 6 am) I shall come over to receive my pay. Do we agree on this?”

“I do” That’d be a real time saver “But about the pay. Do I pay it all at once or like in monthly intervals or something?”

“We can discuss those terms once you’re nice and cozy back hom-where did those chairs come from?”

“Magic”

“Ok” she accepts it like that “But tell me, does it have like an energy source? And how does it materialize all the other twins of it? Could one harvest it to essentially gain infinite wood by chance?”

“Why do you ask?”

“Why can’t a friend ask another pal a question or two? Isn’t that right bud?” she’s suddenly talking all friendly, the kappa really is shameless. “Kappa’s and humans are centuries old allies after all! A small gift to show it would be nice if not massively appreciated”.

“No” You state firmly.

“Why not? Am I not doing you a big favor already?”

“If it was a favor I wouldn’t need to pay. Money makes the world spin doesn’t it? It’s an adage older than this land itself” also the fact she shows blatant interest in it makes you think of it as an opportunity.

“You’ll get another 20% discount!”

“So, you’re saying this thing has the same value as a cucumber?”

“Hmph! Fine be that way, another 35% then. Take it or leav-

“Make it free entirely”

“Nonsense, I’d be losing money if I did” Huh you really expected a “Huh?” or a “What!?” but the kappa did not lose her composure at all.

“You just said it could give you infinite wood or something, if that theory is confirmed to be true then one would no longer to cut down trees nor pay for woodchoppers now do, they? the sheer profit would make it worth the free ride”

“That’s a lie. If you can make a bunch of chairs just from damaging the first one. Then who’s to say the other ones can’t do the same? And what if the wood refuses to be anything but a chair for some magical reason? There are many things that need to be fact checked before it can result in any gain whatsoever so don’t try to fool me”

“But you’re a Kappa, aren’t you? Surely you can reverse engineer this thing or find a way to make it useful nay? Why else would you be so interested in it?
Look, just give me a free boat trip or an actual prize that one doesn’t have to work for 30 years in whatever mines to even get close to”

Some silence follows that sentence and for a moment the thought of her just getting fed up with the backtalk and just robbing you comes to mind. But she wouldn’t do that right? Kappa’s pride themselves in building and trade, to lower oneself to murder and theft of property is heavily frowned upon (And should be in most functioning societies). In the end it’s easier to just agree.

“Haaa~ when did humans become this underhanded?” says the kettle to the black pot…oh that evokes a bad memory “Fine, just get on board and after the ride you’ll give that thing to me” the sounds of her steps indicate she’s walking away and a hard *thunk* shows she landed on a wooden surface “Get on”

That was easi-no it wasn’t easy at all, if anything this journey was terribly nerve-wracking and worrying to be in. You doubt you’re going to ever forget the things you saw in the forest…hopefully you will. The fact this is the second time you’ve ended up outside the village is pretty bad news to be honest. Let’s hope you won’t get a habit out of this lest you’d die a horrible death someday.

Not to mind all the unanswered questions you can’t be bothered to think about right now, for now let’s go home and just dig in. You tu- “Don’t turn around!”

“How am I supposed to get on the boat if you won’t let me look at you?”

“Close your eyes and then walk over to here”

“That’s ridiculous” feeling a bit bolder, you give the unasked opinion. “Are we going to sit back-to-back the whole ride then? I’ve already seen your face so what’s the point of this?”

“Either do it, or the deal is off”

You once again sigh. Really you should keep a sigh count one day. Perhaps you’ll obtain something once you go over a certain number from the gods of sighing themselves? The fact that isn’t impossible says a lot about the world.
“FINE”

You start to walk over backwards to the yet to be seen boat and do your best not to stumble on the chairs beside you or to step on Yama by accident. Sure, you’re totally abandoning her know that’s she of no more use but that doesn’t mean you have to be a total dick about it. “Thanks for the help kid”

The fairy, totally silent up til now looks back at you with a confused face “Huh? What are you thanking me for?” so she can still understand you.

That makes you think “For the company, you were a good sport (For a fairy) and helped me out a bit. (Even if that wasn’t the main intent). You are a... a g-goo- “despite your best attempt the word friend won’t come out “girl, you are a good girl”.
(No offense but most fairies are complete garbage, you guess that’s she a bit less trash than the others but she’s still a fairy in the end. It’s simple logic.)

“Wait, so where are you going?” Yama ignores the last part as she recovers and picks herself up, looking you into the eyes with her own orange ones. “I showed you where the kappa’s are so now you have to play with me!” and she points a finger almost into your eye so you step back.

“Why?”

“Are you stupid? I helped you with becoming unlost so now you must help me with getting not bored! That’s how friends do!”

No point in beating around the bush “I’m going home Yama, it’s bedtime for me” hell the sun is clearly setting in the horizon now. “And the youkais will come out to play too. They’ll do mean things to me if I’m not home before then”

“Oh…” her face becomes immediately disappointed “Where’s your home then?”

You don’t want to tell her “The human village, where else?” but do anyway.

“Ah, uh I don’t know where that is” finally some good news. “But you’ll come back right? During the day I mean? Of course, you will you owe me!”

“Sure” having no real intent to follow up on it you start walking backwards again and give her a small wave “Bye for now Yama. Until next time”

Yama’s grin becomes larger “Bye! Until next time yeah! The games we’ll play will be awesomelicous and stuff! You better be ready for it!” and she flies away. For someone so annoying she was decent enough.

“So, with that done, are you getting on or not?” The kappa says again.

“Of course, get me out of this place” and so you get on.

The boat itself is nothing special, it’s like made of wood yet has an iron color. Some spots you can sit on and perhaps put a fishing rod on alongside a sail for some reason? This isn’t the ocean though. “Put on your seatbelt” the kappa says seated opposite of you, you’re kind of forced to sit in one corner still facing away from her for some reason.

“Excuse me?”

“The belt around your feet, use it to attach yourself to your spot”

“But it’s just a-“

“Do it or risk death” She says firmly.

You find the belt and manage after some struggling to put it on.

“So, what’s the poi- “A sudden noise comes from below, as two pipes appear on the behind of the boat. Sails are lifted like a pair of wings over the upper part. The whole thing is radiating with a wild energy and out nowhere what can only be a weapon appears in front of you. “What?”

“Anzawa Version 9.1 is preparing to launch!” The Kappa announces. ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h1IOvgXuW3U )

“Again, what is ha- “and you’re interrupted again.

“Engine level is stable, Wings are operational and the black hole graviton is about to activate the anti-gravity field! Checking gunnery- “many of the things she says are unknown to you but even so this feels overkill for a simple canoe.

“Screw this!” You try to get off your seat and jump off but it’s too late the belt is iron solid. Whatever is going to happen will happen and you can’t stop it.

“Automatic Aiming Nexus is stable, Human Village chosen as prime location.

Calcuting trajectory:
20%
40%
60%
80%
Trajectory has been calculated! Are you ready for the one and only supreme canoe experience only the kappa’s can offer!?” THIS ISN”T A CANOE AT ALL!

The best you can do is shake your head fearing for your life. what if this thing explodes or crashes?

“Too bad” She sits down again and you’re actually facing her now. “Listen up: there’s only 5 minutes left until Sundown and even then, most youkais won’t care about that. So, if you see anyone heading our way then” she taps the thing in front of me with a grin “Just aim this baby at them and press on the button. Even you can do that” she’s really enjoying this and all shyness is gone…so the rumors of them being mad scientists are true as well.

“Is there a slower way to do this?” at this point your common sense shuts down and you feel like you can’t help but accept the situation.
The pipes burst out flames as the ship goes up slowly unlike the massive noise it’s making. At this point you close your eyes and hope time will pass quickly. “Nope, and. We” her hand hovers a big red button “WE LIFT OFF!” and she smashes it with her fist.

FSSHOOOOOOOOOO And only a few seconds were left until this thing would lift off into the sky, promising that it would attract the attention of whatever of every youkai nearby. Today truly was the worst.

Now did you survive the trip? Did you vomit midway? Did you even get to shoot down some youkai like the kappa said? What was her name anyway?

All of those questions will be answered another time, in another story.

Ergo never. The end. (music stops)

===================================

Except not

I stand up and look at the crowd in the bar, everyone present was listening to my tale with quite the intense interest. They better be since it’s all a true story and literally happened but a few hours ago.

Why am I at an bar? Because after today a drink is something I definitely need.

“Cool story bro” The bartender says “But just because you totally lived through all that that doesn’t mean I owe you a free drink”

Shit, at least I tried “Tsk, you goddamn cheapskate” and lay down my face on the cold counter, trying to nap there because my own house was locked.

“Heey~ don’t be so down!” a familiar voice rings to me “If you want a drink so badly then you can have a taste of my gourd. You deserve after today!”

I look at Suika and give her a frown “Your stuff is the main reason those two adventures happened in the first place, why would I drink anything from you ever again?”
She’s too drunk to care and almost shoves it to my face “So you can have a third one! Come on you lived once, you lived twice. There’s no way it’ll happen again!”

“It happened twice in a row and I’m not out to make it a number three”

“Eh, you sourpuss” Suika shoves my side and laughs. Ugh she’s drunk again then again, when isn’t she? “Tell you what? I’ll totally join your next adventure!”

That was the final point in the coffin, I get out of my seat and start to walk away. “You know what? I’ll make an Aesop out of this”

“A what now?” Suika doesn’t follow.


“ Don’t drink alcohol or a youkai will make you into Soup ”

“Wha- “

I slam the door shut and leave “THE END FOREVER!”