Why are there no good Touhou AUs?
Kimeemaru
2012/07/28 (Sat) 20:56
No. 605
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"And that's that," the miko's shrill voice commanded, "Now call off your 'Makai residents' from flooding my neighbourhood!"
Shinki slowly sat up, groaning. The palace looked liked a war had been fought in it, bits and pieces of crystal were floating around, some walls had collapsed, puddles of blood and sweat were plastered across the floor. The four intruders (plus turtle) had all converged in the center of the room and stared down on her with expressions varying between mockery and exasperation. In the other corners of the room, Shinki could see poor Yumeko and the three witches struggling to get up.
Such destructive power... an idea struck her suddenly. Why not swat two flies with one catcher?
"Ooh, to think that I would lose to ones such as you." she whined while standing up. "Directly interfering in a civilian business portal will give me a headache for decades to come and grant me at least two heresies to deal with. At least have some tea and a talk? I'm sure you are interested in relaxing after a hard-won victory? Perhaps you'd like to hear a counter-offer as well?"
She smiled when the four agreed. This might just work out for all of us after all.
.......
Reimu found the tea to be strange but acceptable, the lemon-scented drink with the juicy taste was a welcome respite from the all-pervasive miasma that passed as air around here.
She carefully sat down her crystalline cup. It was instantly refilled by one of the little devil maids who flittered around the grand table, serving tea and snacks. She sighed contentedly and picked it up again. I could get used to this.
The other discussions at the table were slowly dying down. Mima and Yuuka had ended up in a discussion with Shinki about temporal and planar mechanics. They all had their own pocket realms after all and seemed to be comparing notes. Reimu couldn't make head or tails of the bits of their conversation that she understood.
With Alice and her sisters having been quietly sent off to recover, Yumeko was the only other Makai resident at the table. She made up by glowering at the humans and youkai for four people's worth while Marisa prattled on about magicians... becoming magicians?
A quick gaze down at Genji, who was drinking water and eating a salad confirmed that she wasn't the only one who had drowned out most of the background noise. Right, this is nice but I don't get it and I need to go home anyway. I have enough things to do to.
Reimu forcefully put down her cup. "So, what's this about?" Shinki actually has the gall to look disappointed? What's with that woman?
"Aw, well if you insist." Shinki raised her hand and the discussions at the table ceased. The devil maids silently retreated into the background.
"Makai, as you should know, is my pocket universe. From Ahimsa, Makai's sun, it grows outwards, adding layer after layer over time as my power grows." Yuuka rolled her eyes. Probably pissed that Shinki can't just conjure up all that power to give her a good fight without Makai collapsing or something. Even during their battle, the air had started to burn when the Goddess summoned enough of her power to nearly defeat all of them at once.
"The outermost layer, Aparigraha, houses several smaller pocket realms, some of which you have already travelled through. It is designed to attach itself to other realms and absorb the bits that nobody would miss. It's also where beings who are banished usually end up."
"Is that so?" Mima interjected. "There must be tons of lost treasure hiding there." Reimu sighed as Marisa peaked up at that news. "I bet this is why there are so many portals and realms between the human world and Makai. Someone banished something really tight down here, and it's acting like a hook to keep our worlds connected," she added sagely. That makes sense, even Reimu had to admit.
Shinki nodded. "Someone actually. I've spoken to her several times when inspecting the seal, but I can't really get her out. If you want less interaction between our realms, it would help a lot if you could break the seal and get her back to your world." She raised her hand. "Now now, don't worry, she's a nice person, just someone who didn't fit in during her time. I'm sure you'll make fast friends once you get her out of Hokkai."
"Does that person have a name attached?" Reimu inquired. It wouldn't pay off to go into this unprepared. If it's too much work, I'll just claim to remember that I shouldn't unseal them for historical reasons.
Shinki fidgeted. "The name she has given me is Byakuren Hijiri."
Reimu was surprised to see Yuuka of all people suddenly frown and straighten up. "So that woman is still alive..."
"You know her?"
Yuuka just ignored her, asking a question instead. "What's in it for us?"
"Impertinent little -" Yumeko began, but a glare of her goddess quickly silenced her.
Yuuka chuckled. "This is the part where your mistress should be begging on her knees for our help. The dog of the goddess should just shut up." If looks could kill, Reimu was pretty sure that whatever Yuuka's parents were would have died in infancy right now.
"Ah, none of that," Shinki interjected, "Yuuka, you've stated quite plainly that you want to learn magic, which is uncommon for one such as you. I could gift to you several teachers in Makai, or perhaps a grimoire or two to help get you started. If all else fails, our prisoner herself is a magician in both senses of the word and could possibly help you grow as well."
"So undignified," Yumeko quietly whined.
The youkai nodded, still chuckling. "Well done. I accept, for curiosity's sake more than yours."
Shinki shifted her attention to Mima, who waved her hand dismissively. "As god of the human world, it's only natural for me to spread the good new of my divine self here. I'll take a cathedral in my honor. And a dozen statues, of course." Reimu facepalmed.
"That's very... ambitious," the demon goddess tried, "how about a mansion in Asteya? This is the commercial and travel hub of Makai. In a population of several million travellers, I'm sure you will find your worshippers. Just, make sure you don't convert any Makai residents? I'll gift you a permanent portal to Reimaden as well as long as you keep away from them." Mima considered for a moment, then raised her thumb. "A deal worthy of two deities."
Then Shinki turned to Reimu. "I hope you're not trying to buy me with power like these clowns. Not interested."
The goddess smiled. "Of course not, dear. But you're getting ahead of yourself - if you manage to unseal your prodigal daughter, we can easily redefine the boundaries between Makai and the human world. Unfortunately I'm afraid it's too late to close them off totally - that damage has already been done, on your end no less."
Reimu shrugged. Who or what started the mess didn't really interest her, unless it helped to put an end to it. And, if worst came to worst, the topic of Sariel might come up and that could only end in tears. "So, what do you have to offer?"
"Most portals to your human world are right next to each other, so one stable portal would prevent others from forming. Ideally, we could use the one you came through, but any other would work fine. Now," Shinki raised her hand when the miko's frown deepened to dangerous levels, "you might wonder how that would help. The other part of my offer is to have the Makai end under permanent guard, and you installed as the guard on the other end. If anybody would want to travel through Makai to the human world or back, they would have to get your okay first."
Reimu clicked her tongue thinking about it. "Well... that's good and all, bu-"
"Say nothing," Shinki interrupted her, "of course you will be paid in full, Portal guardians are respected and the payment tends to reflect that. And, of course, we will make that position hereditary, so you don't have to worry about the time after your brief life ends."
"Now that's more like it," Reimu replied cooly. Her thoughts, however, were racing. Cracks to Makai had been opening all over the place for years now and the barriers of eastern Gensokyo were notorious for fraying at the edges. With stable borders, Yuuka wouldn't have started to settle in that sunflower field but would still be holing herself up in Mugenkan, Mima might have either never left Jigoku or stayed put in her own dream realm of Reimaden afterwards. If she could get control of a stablized portal to Makai as part of the Hakurei barrier, with controlled access, this would help the fraying and her stress level a lot. It might even stop the steady influx of Outsiders into the local foodchain. Some of the plumped up youkai could really use a lot more exercise.
"Agreed, but I want to go over the details later on." After consulting with the appropriate people, like whats-her-face, the Kitsune who kept the other barrier running.
Shinki clapped her hands smiling, then turned to the magician slash treasure hunter. "Marisa, how about your own weight in grimoires and trinkets for your support?"
"Sold!" the witch nearly shouted. Of course she would. Reimu had to try her best not groan out loud. That Yumeko had started muttering about how disgraceful the bribes were didn't help her peace of mind either.
......
Two weeks later
Byakuren Hijiri came to slowly from her meditation. Something was happening to her personal prison and it forced her awake.
She hardly could believe her eyes when the seal keeping her trapped in the world of demons began crumbling.
When the walls fell, she felt her heart make a jump. Facing her were four women - two obviously human, one in miko garbs, one in a black and white ensemble she didn't recognize, and two probably not, one in green and blue astronomical garb and sprouting a spirit tail, and one with long green hair and red, inhuman eyes.
For a moment, Byakuren realized bliss. "Truly, the world of dharma is filled with light! Are you the ones who freed this world from its bondage?"
The purple-haired miko nodded. "That's us, all right. That makes you Byakuren Hijiri?"
"Yes, that is me. I was a Buddhist monk long ago, now I am a magician sealed away for her dreams of a peaceful world where humans and youkai could live as equals. Tell me, please, has my dream become real? Is there true peace and friendship between humans and youkai? Has the world really changed?"
Even though she would not admit it later, the shameful faces of her rescuers soured her day quite a bit. But for now, for the moment it was enough for her to know that youkai and humans had overcome their differences even for just this moment. She breathed in deeply and took her first step into freedom.
Anonymous 2012/07/28 (Sat) 21:02
No. 606
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>putting mail in email field
newfag detected. Go read the rules before you do something you might regret.
Anonymous
2012/07/31 (Tue) 22:18
No. 614
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And this is supposed to be a good one?
Anonymous
2012/08/01 (Wed) 08:53
No. 616
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ITT yet another wannabee fails hard.
>Doesn't have any new ideas.
>Claims PC-98 is somehow relevant.
>Can't write.
>Can't be bothered to ask for support on IRC first.
>Smears his failures across THP so that everyone knows about them.
In short, go away. Or at least shut up and lurk more, at least until you suck less.
Anonymous
2012/08/02 (Thu) 04:50
No. 617
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>>616
Holy shit, I think we've found someone even more obnoxious than Wiseman.
Anonymous 2012/08/02 (Thu) 14:03
No. 624
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You know I like this story. You need to get a little more proof reading, to catch some awkward turns of phrase, but other then that, it works.
Ignore 616, (well except for the email thing. The email fertile is not really used for email. The name is a relic.).
Anonymous
2012/08/03 (Fri) 06:05
No. 625
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Ignore 616 only if you're fine as being a piece of shit. If you want to get better, follow his advices.
Anonymous
2012/08/03 (Fri) 07:21
No. 626
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>>625
Haha, wow, nice samefagging. You really are worse than Wiseman.
Anonymous
2012/08/03 (Fri) 07:29
No. 627
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>>616
>Claims PC-98 is somehow relevant.
Wow, shut the fuck up. It's a choice of the author to include PC-98 canon in his story, not a failure.
>Can't be bothered to ask for support on IRC first.
And you show your complete ignorance with this. You have never visited the channel once, have you? That's hilarious.
>Smears his failures across THP so that everyone knows about them.
I think you're the one doing that right now, showing yourself to be a narrow-minded, blind-leading-the-blind retard.
Anonymous
2012/08/03 (Fri) 11:32
No. 631
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White knights to the rescue!
>Samefag detected.
Not me. Now try again.
>Criticism is bad.
Don't post shit, don't get called on it. Seems easy enough. Finding a proofreader willing and able to call you on it before you post? Also pretty damn easy.
>PC-98 is a choice.
Including PC-98 automatically makes a fic worse. It's not canon and it doesn't fit canon Touhou at all anymore. ZUN is just too Japanese to say it outright.
>IRC is a foreign country.
Scream for help when they take a break from the danbooru link spam. It's not difficult.
Kimeemaru 2012/08/03 (Fri) 17:30
No. 634
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Mea culpa about the email (force of habit) and the title (it was supposed to be AH - alternate history - instead of AU - alternate universe; actual AHs of Touhou are so rare that I can only think of two right now).
The most bitter thing is that I did run it through two IRC regulars who corrected some parts and okayed the rest.
Finally, I didn't ever think I'd say this, but if you don't like PC-98, then perhaps you just shouldn't read it.
Anonymous
2012/08/04 (Sat) 04:12
No. 636
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>>631
>>633
Nice samefagging.
>Criticism is bad.
Could you point out where I said that? Because I never said that. You didn't give any valid criticism either. "Shit sux, go away" is not valid criticism, and if you think it is, you're a retard. But of course, you're passing off the responsibility of actually helping to those magical people in IRC, while still acting like you know what you're talking about. How adorable.
>Seriously? Should we let an idiot like Kahi, Lion or Taisa ruin all of THP because "criticism is bad"? Fuck no.
What is even your point here, besides lambasting popular writers?
>Including PC-98 automatically makes a fic worse. It's not canon and it doesn't fit canon Touhou at all anymore. ZUN is just too Japanese to say it outright.
How adorable.
Anonymous 2012/08/04 (Sat) 06:54
No. 639
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>>633
What, mods are banning people for having opinions now?
Kapow
## Admin ##
2012/08/04 (Sat) 12:09
No. 640
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>>639
There's a line between opinions/criticism and shitposting in story threads, and that post was retarded enough to cross it.
Anonymous
2012/08/04 (Sat) 14:31
No. 642
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Okay, okay, I'll say it!
I was wrong to shitpost here.
>The most bitter thing is that I did run it through two IRC regulars who corrected some parts and okayed the rest.
My apologies then. I assumed you were in a hurry and that you "forgot" to proofread, and I was wrong. Sorry about that.
Will you forgive me?
Anonymous
2012/08/08 (Wed) 06:39
No. 646
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>>639
Mod
s? We have mods other than Kapow?
Anonymous
2012/08/10 (Fri) 15:47
No. 648
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>>646
HY and Kaguya.
Or so I heard, but so far, Kapow is the only one actually moderating instead of using his mod powers to erase posts he doesn't like and identify who's making that dumb write-in.
Anonymous
2012/08/11 (Sat) 14:44
No. 650
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>>648
HY? I thought HY hated TH-P and want to stay away from here. Or did anons only said because he didn't write anymore.
Still felt bitter about that. Can't really read HY's stories anymore because of that.
Anonymous
2012/08/11 (Sat) 14:49
No. 651
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>>650
Wow, you hold a grudge over a person just because he said that he hated THP?
Man, I never knew THP's anons were this sensitive.
Anonymous
2012/08/12 (Sun) 01:29
No. 652
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>>648
>>646
Kapow, Teruyo, and HY are admins, not mods.
EZMode is a mod.
Anonymous
2012/08/12 (Sun) 09:48
No. 653
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>>650
Isn't HY writing in /border/ or something?
Also, any of you seen EZMode? The only post I ever saw of him is the stickied help thread.
Anonymous
2012/08/12 (Sun) 10:28
No. 654
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>>652
What's the difference between admins and mods?
>>653
Yeah, I've always wondered who EZMode is.
Anonymous 2012/08/12 (Sun) 11:30
No. 655
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>>654
The admin is the one creating boards. He's basically a god on the website. He creates boards, erases boards, and take care of the website, replacing banners and, sometimes, hosts the website.
A moderator (or modo, or mod, or even meido) is just someone who sucked some dicks. Like his name suggests, he's just here for moderation. Usually, he erases posts, warns users, bans Random Anon and, depending from the person, can abuse his power and be a total ass, systematically erasing your posts while tracking down your IP to know exactly what posts are yours. He's like a little cockroach, as soon as he can get some power, he starts using it while masturbating in front of his screen and repeating "HAHA I'm the boss". Luckily, we don't seem to have that kind of little shit here.
{spoiler]Yes, I have bad memories of dealing with modos.[/spoiler]
Anonymous 2012/08/13 (Mon) 00:07
No. 661
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>>656
But remembered your impotent rage. Well done, sir.
Hartmann, I think you're the only one bemoaning your bans.
Anonymous
## Admin ##
2012/08/13 (Mon) 00:43
No. 663
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Oy, could we please take the non-fanfiction talk somewhere else? IRC or /blue/ would be appropriate.
EZMode !iIyIHD.1G6
## Mod ##
2012/08/13 (Mon) 16:45
No. 664
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>>654
He's just a fag that doesn't write anymore because his mental instability and life issues got the better of him and came crashing down.
Anonymous
2012/08/13 (Mon) 16:58
No. 665
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>>664
Wow, I thought you've left the site a long time ago.
EZMode
!iIyIHD.1G6 2012/08/13 (Mon) 23:09
No. 666
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>>665
I linger. I still get called on occasionally for mod things. I'm not entirely gone though, I might come back to write something in the near future, but it likely won't be a CYOA.
Anonymous
2012/08/14 (Tue) 15:51
No. 669
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>>664
>He's just a fag that doesn't write anymore because his mental instability and life issues got the better of him and came crashing down.
Who is 90% of THP's writers?
Anonymous
2018/08/12 (Sun) 13:43
No. 2193
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>>2192
sage, nooblet - do you speaketh it!?