[X]I can hear some waves nearby, but it doesn't sound like the coast. A lake, maybe?

You capture Ross's Freeman voice very well. Gonna try to reach kappa.

[x] I can hear some waves nearby, but it doesn't sound like the coast. A lake, maybe?

Bad end at a -100% discount. Buy now for a free gravestone!

>>200171
[X]I can hear some waves nearby, but it doesn't sound like the coast. A lake, maybe?

This story makes me smile
[x] Get high on shrooms.

[X]You know, two days worth of killing and trying not to die really takes it out of you. A quick nap now should keep me awake later, when it matters.

First of, this is the last story I ever expected to be a thing. Second, I think I love you. Third, we have no shelter, so being less sleepy when night comes should help us not be manhandled by maneaters.

Also, I can't not read this in his voice.

I'm reading everything I type in his voice, too, somehow.

Thank you for that.

[x]You know, two days worth of killing and trying not to die really takes it out of you. A quick nap now should keep me awake later, when it matters.

Goddamn now I'm going to have to spend new years reviewing Freeman's mind. I hope you're happy.

[X]Maybe if I go deeper into the forest, I can find some mushrooms that get me high.

What can go wrong? Everything!

I NEVER KNEW I NEEDED THIS UNTIL NOW

[X]I can hear some waves nearby, but it doesn't sound like the coast. A lake, maybe?

[X]I can hear some waves nearby, but it doesn't sound like the coast. A lake, maybe?

Bodies of water are usually a good sign of civilization. Plus, then I can actually see where exactly I am. Unless it's actually a swamp or something... but wait, then I wouldn't be hearing waves.

Doesn't matter, I was right. Pretty decent size lake here. Damn, the water looks nice enough to swim in. I probably won't, though, for all I know there's a cthulu monster hiding at the bottom of it, and my orange suit is just gonna alert it to chow time.

Oh hey, there's a mansion on the other side, too. Looks more European than Japanese, but what do I know. And if there's a mansion on the other side, that means either it's an island with a bridge somewhere, or it's just on the other end of the lake. Either way, I'm just gonna keep following the shore for now.

You know, this is actually... kinda nice. I'm not being shot at, facehuggers aren't crawling out of the dirt to try and smooch me, and I can just take in the sounds of nature. I was never a fan of it before, but I'll gladly take it now.

Wait, is someone singing? Sounds like a girl, too. It's not any song I know... Seems like they're close by, though. Should be somewhere in this direction...

Oh jeez, I just realized, I probably smell like hell, don't I? I mean, I did get to go swimming at several points, but there's only so much that can do against being drenched in blood and God knows what other fluids. I guess I could try and scrub down a bit in the lake here-

"H- Hello? Is someone there?"

Dammit, I got noticed. Guess I'll just have to hope I don't smell too much like death.

Just walk through these bushes, make sure crowbar is put away...

Well, I was right. Blue-hair girl sitting in the water, staring at me in shock. Wait, are those... fins on her head?

Also she's in the water but still fully clothed for some reason. Maybe that's a culture thing, I dunno.

"W- Who are you?"

Okay, Gordon, first impression time, don't fuck this up. "Oh, just a wanderer 'round these parts. How are you?" Eh, not my smoothest work, but it should do.

"Oh, uh... I'm fine, thanks." The word that's coming to mind is 'adorable', and I'm not sure how I feel about that. Also she isn't trying to kill me, so already this is looking up.

Hold on, she's looking confused again. "Are you an Outsider?"

What the hell does that movie have to do with- oh, right, Yukari said this was a sealed off place. "Uh, I guess. I'm kinda new around here."

"Oh, you really shouldn't be wandering around the forest, then. There's a lot of dangerous youkai that wouldn't hesitate to make a meal of you."

Now there's some familiar territory. Everything trying to kill me, just like old times.

Actually this is technically worse, because I'm not carrying enough ordinance to wipe out half of a city. "So, uh, where should I go to be safe?"

"Oh, you could go to the Human Village. But..." No please don't look down you're too cute already. "I... don't really know how to get there."

Human Village? Well at least it's not all monsters here, then. But wait... "Aren't you human?"

Now she's confused again, but it passes quick. "I'm a youkai, mister." Holy shit, she has a fish tail, too.

Wait a second, did I just- "You're a mermaid?"

"Yep! I live in this lake." Okay now that I know she's not human I don't know if I can trust her cuteness anymore. At least this means I can get her pot of gold.

Wait, no, that's leprechauns, shit.

"...huh. I was told there was magic and shit going in, but this is already not what I expected."

"What did you expect, mister?"

God, I can't stand being called 'mister' like that, it makes me feel old. "My name's Gordon. And, I dunno, I'm not sure what I expected. Like that mansion over there, I didn't expect to see that."

She seems a bit less happy to look in that direction. "Oh, yeah... The Scarlet Devil Mansion." Wow, that sounds metal as hell.

"It would be better to stay there than out in the woods, right?"

Why does she look so shocked? "No! I mean, I guess? It's better than nothing, but-"

"Perfect! I'll head over now." Just gonna take a deep breath, assume diving position, and-

"Wait!" Oh, now what? "A vampire lives there."

Of coooourse a vampire lives there. Nothing can be easy, can it? "Then what do you suggest instead, miss...?"

"Wakasagihime."

Christ, that's a lot of syllables. Gonna have to shorten that if I'll ever have a hope to remember it. "I'm gonna call you Waggysaggy instead."

"O-okay..."

"So, Waggysaggy, what should I do?"

At least she gets back to being happy again fast. "If you go a little deeper into the forest, you might find another human living out here. She can take you to the Human Village."

"I thought the forest was dangerous for humans?"

"Well, it is, but I could go with you to help keep you safe?"

I'm calling bullshit on that. Even if this wasn't a plan to catch me off guard and eat me... "Can you even leave the water?"

"Yeah!" She's crawling up on shore, should I stop her before she- oh okay she's floating. "I can't fly near as well as most other people around here, and I'm stronger in the water, but I can at least do this."

Deep breaths, Freeman, deep breaths. Remember, you already saw teleportation firsthand, and you're talking to a mermaid. Logic and normal rules of physics don't have to apply anymore. Your degree is now even more worthless than your dad said it would be.

"Uh, cool. So, you don't, uh, have to wet your gills or anything?"

"What are gills?"

New plan, never ask for answers about any of this ever. "Nevermind. Say, what if I decided to try my luck at the mansion anyway?"

Now she's scared. Good. "Uh, I guess I could... go with you anyway? I really don't like going there, though."

I take back what I said. This place is only slightly better than Black Mesa.

Now to figure out if I should trust this possibly-maneating mermaid or not...

[ ]Sure, why not. I've escaped death enough times, I'm sure I can do it one more time if she tries to eat me.
[ ]I'll pass. Going alone has worked so far, why stop now?
[ ]The phrase "everyone dies but me" comes to mind. And hey, it's not murder if they're not human, right?

As for where I'm going...

[ ]Vampires can usually be reasoned with, right?
[ ]If there's another human in the forest, I should probably find them. And hey, Waggysaggy said it was a 'she'.
[ ]Both of these options are bullshit, I'm gonna go in the forest and keep walking until I'm out the other side.

[x] I'll pass. Going alone has worked so far, why stop now?
[x] Both of these options are bullshit, I'm gonna go in the forest and keep walking until I'm out the other side.

What could possibly go wrong?

[x]Sure, why not. I've escaped death enough times, I'm sure I can do it one more time if she tries to eat me.

Waggysaggy joins the party!


[x]If there's another human in the forest, I should probably find them. And hey, Waggysaggy said it was a 'she'.

Alright physicist, time to meet a magician.

[x]Sure, why not. I've escaped death enough times, I'm sure I can do it one more time if she tries to eat me.
[x]Both of these options are bullshit, I'm gonna go in the forest and keep walking until I'm out the other side.

[x]Sure, why not. I've escaped death enough times, I'm sure I can do it one more time if she tries to eat me.

Hime is fine
[x]Both of these options are bullshit, I'm gonna go in the forest and keep walking until I'm out the other side.

I see no problems with this plan

[X]Sure, why not. I've escaped death enough times, I'm sure I can do it one more time if she tries to eat me.
Because after Black Mesa, Gordon has a lot of trust issues to work through. A genuinely friendly mermaid is a good place to start. Seems he's not confusing her for a siren either.

[X]Both of these options are bullshit, I'm gonna go in the forest and keep walking until I'm out the other side.
Because that's Gordon.

[x]Sure, why not. I've escaped death enough times, I'm sure I can do it one more time if she tries to eat me.
[x]Both of these options are bullshit, I'm gonna go in the forest and keep walking until I'm out the other side.

Trust the Waggy

[x]Sure, why not. I've escaped death enough times, I'm sure I can do it one more time if she tries to eat me.
[x]Both of these options are bullshit, I'm gonna go in the forest and keep walking until I'm out the other side.

[x]Sure, why not. I've escaped death enough times, I'm sure I can do it one more time if she tries to eat me.
[x]Both of these options are bullshit, I'm gonna go in the forest and keep walking until I'm out the other side.

[x]The phrase "everyone dies but me" comes to mind. And hey, it's not murder if they're not human, right?
[x]Both of these options are bullshit, I'm gonna go in the forest and keep walking until I'm out the other side.

[x]Sure, why not. I've escaped death enough times, I'm sure I can do it one more time if she tries to eat me.
[x]Both of these options are bullshit, I'm gonna go in the forest and keep walking until I'm out the other side.

Dammit, I have a feeling I'm gonna regret this later. But for now, fuck it. "Yeah, you can tag along, I guess. But we're going where I say, alright?"

"Uh, okay."

"So, where did you say that human in the forest was?"

She takes some time to think about it. "I think... somewhere that way?"

"Alright, cool." We're going the other direction, then.

"W- Wait! Gordon! That's the wrong way!"

"Yeah, I know. I said we're going where I say, remember? And I say we go somewhere else entirely."

She doesn't really have an answer for that. She's still going with me, though, hovering just above the ground. Huh, it almost looks like she's swimming through the air. Muscle memory, maybe?

"So, uh, Gordon, what happened to your ear?"

Oh right, I almost forgot that happened. Apparently the bandage fell off at some point, so now I just have a chunk of my ear missing. Wonderful. "It got shot off, nothing big."

Now she's panicking. "Are you okay? Can you still hear out of it?"

"Yeah, hearing's fine, it only knocked off the outer part of the ear." You know, for someone that could very well be planning to eat me, she's being awfully worried about this.

Maybe... she doesn't want to kill me?

Naaaaah. Nothing good has happened to me yet today, why start now?

Conversation died there, but I still have a few questions. "So, other than man-eating creatures like yourself, anything else I should know about Gensokyo?"

"I don't eat humans!" That sounds like something a human-eater would say. "And... Well, you might need to look out for fairies. They aren't too dangerous, but they like to play pranks on... well, everyone, sometimes."

Fairies, vampires, and mermaids, oh my. I'm starting to think the term 'youkai' is less the species and more of an umbrella term for anything not human around here. "Pranks are a lot better than getting shot at or eaten, so I'll be fine."

Now she looks almost sad. What did I say? "What did you do in the Outside?"

"I was a theoretical physicist."

Now she's just staring at me. "A what?"

Huh, guess they don't have those around here. "A scientist."

"Then why were you getting shot at?"

"See, that's what I was saying the whole time! It was bad enough that fucking aliens started invading, but then the military is too damn stupid to know what a 'rescue' operation is, so they just fucking shoot everyone! So now I have to shoot them first so I don't get capped by Johnny Marine and his inability to understand orders!"

Shit, got a little worked up there. It looks like I'm close to scaring Waggysaggy off.

"But, uh, it's fine now. I got sent to the alien world and killed their god, and then I got hired by the CIA, so I guess it's all good now."

"...that doesn't sound... believable."

"Yeah, I'd say the same thing, but look how that turned out." On the bright side, it turns out it's pretty easy for me to kill people now. I should probably be a little worried about that, but that can wait until I actually have to deal with consequences.

She's just silent now. Fine with me, it looks like the forest is clearing up a bit now. Looks like my plan of wandering aimlessly actually paid off! Hell yeah.

So, I guess the question remains, what to do with Waggysaggy once I reach that Human Village? Because now that I think about it, if she really wanted to kill me, she would've done a better job of it if she got me into the water with her. And not once during our trip through the forest did she do anything to attack me.

Maybe... maybe I am being a little paranoid?

Not like you can blame me, though. She literally told me youkai eat people, and then a moment later told me she was a youkai. What else was I supposed to think?

Eh, maybe I shouldn't be so hard on her. It's clear she's... well, I don't want to call her 'stupid', but she's clearly not all there. People seem to think I hate all stupid people, and while that's not a bad conclusion to reach, it's also not entirely true. I only hate stupid people if their stupidity hurts me in some way, or if they're stupid but they think they're not.

Waggysaggy might not be the smartest, but I can at least say she knows it, I think. She hasn't tried to lecture me on anything she actually has no goddamn clue about, so that's a plus. Now if only-

"AAAAH WHAT THE FUCK COLD!"

WHAT WAS THAT? DID SOMETHING GET IN MY SUIT?

"WHO'S LAUGHING AT ME? I'LL KILL YOU!"

"Gordon, calm down!"

There's the fucker that did this. Girl in a blue dress, floating in the air some distance away with weird crystal wings, laughing her ass off at me. Dammit, I can't reach her when she's that high! I need my guns back.

I can still yell at her, at least. "The fuck was that for?!"

"It was hilarious!" And now she's laughing again.

"Waggysaggy, throw me."

"W-What? I can't-"

Wait, there's a second one now. Has more normal wings, green hair, and is saying something to the blue one. Blue one apparently likes what she's hearing, and- oh good, she's coming closer.

"You think you can beat me up? Good luck, I'm the strongest thing here, I won't lose to a human!"

She's just barely out of crowbar range, and I don't think I can talk her into getting closer. "Did you really have to throw ice in my suit?! That shit was cold!"

"Well, yeah, ice is cold. Are you stupid or something?"

"RAAAAAGH!"

Fuck, I missed, she took to the air again. "Too slow, human!"

"GET THE FUCK DOWN HERE! I JUST WANT TO TALK, WITH MY CROWBAR!"

Someone's pulling on my arm. "Gordon, please! It was just a prank, remember?"

Oh, these are fairies then? I guess they look the part, now that I know that. Plus, I think the green hair one is doing the same thing as Waggysaggy, trying to talk her friend out of pissing me off even more. That's good, the green hair one gets to live.

"Waggysaggy, would anyone be upset if I killed a fairy?"

She looks conflicted. "I mean, fairies die all the time, and they regenerate a bit afterwards... But still, let's just ignore them and keep going."

Oh, so they don't die when they're killed? So I can kill someone and not have to face consequences for it later?

Well, apart from the dozens of soldiers I killed already.

Still, I very much can't fly. Without guns, I just have to hope she gets close enough. And if she's throwing ice at me that whole time, even with this suit, she could actually maybe kill me, eventually.

[ ]Fairies can die and come back, so literally no one will care if I beat one to death right now.
-[ ]Take it slow, stay calm. If I can bait her close enough, I can get a good hit in, then I can finish her.
-[ ]If I keep going after her, eventually she'll fuck up enough that I can beat her fucking skull in.
-[ ]NO ONE EXPECTS A CROWBAR PROJECTILE
[ ]Maybe I should listen to Waggysaggy. This would be like shooting a kid who egged my house with a tazer. Sure it was probably justified, but I doubt it would look that way in court.

[x] Maybe I should listen to Waggysaggy. This would be like shooting a kid who egged my house with a tazer. Sure it was probably justified, but I doubt it would look that way in court.

no bulli

[ ]Maybe I should listen to Waggysaggy. This would be like shooting a kid who egged my house with a tazer. Sure it was probably justified, but I doubt it would look that way in court.

[x]Maybe I should listen to Waggysaggy. This would be like shooting a kid who egged my house with a tazer. Sure it was probably justified, but I doubt it would look that way in court.

Now is not the time for pain. That will be later.

[x]Maybe I should listen to Waggysaggy. This would be like shooting a kid who egged my house with a tazer. Sure it was probably justified, but I doubt it would look that way in court.

Better to put her on the shit list and see how we're feeling when we have guns, anyway.

[X]Maybe I should listen to Waggysaggy. This would be like shooting a kid who egged my house with a tazer. Sure it was probably justified, but I doubt it would look that way in court.
The Taming of the Gordon

[x] Maybe I should listen to Waggysaggy. This would be like shooting a kid who egged my house with a tazer. Sure it was probably justified, but I doubt it would look that way in court.

Not that Gordon flying into psychotic fits of rage isn't entertaining, but let's show restraint this time. I want to make him suffer through dealing with Cirno for as long as possible.

Also this could let us talk to Daiyousei on better terms, which could be nice.

[x] Maybe I should listen to Waggysaggy. This would be like shooting a kid who egged my house with a tazer. Sure it was probably justified, but I doubt it would look that way in court.
[x] Also, threaten revenge! Boast about your accomplishments.

[X]Maybe I should listen to Waggysaggy. This would be like shooting a kid who egged my house with a tazer. Sure it was probably justified, but I doubt it would look that way in court.

I mean, we shouldn't kill 'er over a prank.
Still, some arm-twisting or a charlie horse or some spanks or something wouldn't be over the line.

[x] Maybe I should listen to Waggysaggy. This would be like shooting a kid who egged my house with a tazer. Sure it was probably justified, but I doubt it would look that way in court.
[x] Also, threaten revenge! Boast about your accomplishments.

[x] Maybe I should listen to Waggysaggy. This would be like shooting a kid who egged my house with a tazer. Sure it was probably justified, but I doubt it would look that way in court.

Okay, Freeman, breathe in, breathe out. Fairy or not, she still looks like just a kid. As satisfying as it would be to bash her skull in for that, I feel like that would just lead to everyone wanting to kill me again.

"You know what, fuck this, let's go."

Waggysaggy seems happy with my choice, but more importantly, the ice fairy looks confused and upset. "Hey! Where are you going?!"

"Away. Don't follow me."

Now she looks pissed. "Coward! Scaredy human wants to run away! Come fight me!"

Her friend is doing a good job of holding her back, at least, and she gives me a small nod in the midst of their struggling.

"Whatever, I killed a god. You're small time compared to that."

I don't think the fairies heard me, shame. Waggysaggy did, though, and now she's looking unamused. "Why are you still lying about that?"

"I'm not lying, I really did go to an alien world in the middle of an invasion and singlehandedly... killed their... huh, when I say it out loud, I understand why you're so skeptical."

"Just... maybe don't go mentioning it to everyone? Some people around here might take it the wrong way."

"Yeah, right. What, are there other gods living here I should be worried about?"

Why is she just staring at me?

...oh.

......oh.

"Oh, fuck me, this place is fucking ridiculous."

Waggysaggy just sighs while she hovers/swims next to me. "Are all Outsiders like you?"

"Nah, from what I've seen, most of them are a lot dumber."

"...I see."

At least we're out of the forest, now. Just a big, open field of green out ahead of us. I kinda wish I had a camera on me, it looks so nice. There's even a mountain not too far away, and I can make out a few structures on it, even at this distance.

Oh, that must be that human village she was talking about. "That the place?"

"Yep, the human village. They'll be able to help you find a place to stay and all that."

Wait, why is she turning around? "Where are you going?"

She looks... conflicted? "Well, um... I'm a youkai, and, in the past, the humans here haven't reacted so well to a youkai just strolling inside..."

...huh. I mean, I understand why they'd act that way, given the whole maneating thing, but...

[ ]Time to go to the village.
-[ ]Waggysaggy did a good job getting me here, I guess, time to part ways.
-[ ]Who said she was done being my personal tour guide of this place?
[ ]That mountain looks far more interesting than the village.
-[ ]Waggysaggy did her part, she'd slow me down.
-[ ]I have no idea what else could be waiting for me. A mermaid, if nothing else, could be a good distraction.

[X]Time to go to the village.
-[X]Who said she was done being my personal tour guide of this place?

You're coming with us, fishwife.

[x]Time to go to the village.
-[x]Waggysaggy did a good job getting me here, I guess, time to part ways.
It's not like Freeman doesn't know where they're coming from.

[X]Time to go to the village.
-[X]Waggysaggy did a good job getting me here, I guess, time to part ways.

If we be nice to her now, we'll have a better chance to convince her to hang out with us later. Which means more fish adventures, and less strong arming.

>>200267
I concur.

[X]Time to go to the village.
-[X]Waggysaggy did a good job getting me here, I guess, time to part ways.

[X]Time to go to the village.
-[X]Waggysaggy did a good job getting me here, I guess, time to part ways.

Yeah, this is fine

[X]Time to go to the village.
-[X]Waggysaggy did a good job getting me here, I guess, time to part ways

[x]Time to go to the village.
-[x]Waggysaggy did a good job getting me here, I guess, time to part ways.

[x]Time to go to the village.
-[x]Waggysaggy did a good job getting me here, I guess, time to part ways.

>>200264
[x]Time to go to the village.
-[x]Waggysaggy did a good job getting me here, I guess, time to part ways.

[X]That mountain looks far more interesting than the village.
-[X]I have no idea what else could be waiting for me. A mermaid, if nothing else, could be a good distraction.

I must piss all over this tide. If we don't go to the place that maybe hates youkai, we can keep her, right?

[X]Time to go to the village.
-[X]Waggysaggy did a good job getting me here, I guess, time to part ways.

Well, the plan was to visit the human village, so no reason to abandon that now. As for Waggysaggy, well...

"Hey, thanks for bringing me here and, uh, not eating me."

"I told you, I don't-" She sighs. "Nevermind. Will you be alright from here?"

"Yeah, I should be fine. You know, you are probably the single most helpful person I've met in the last 24 hours."

...is she blushing? "Oh, I don't know about that..."

"I'm serious. Before you, the most useful people I ran into were the ones that died and left their guns behind for me."

Now she's looking at me funny again. Wait, shit, maybe I shouldn't be so casual about the whole 'I was in metaphorical hell and had to murder everybody' thing. It's not exactly a normal conversation, after all.

Either way, it's kinda awkward now. "So... see you later?"

Took her a bit to nod. "...yes. Good luck, Gordon."

And now she's swimming back through the air, into the forest. Nice girl, for a maneating monster. At least now I'll have one ally if shit hits the fan again.

In other news, this human village. Wooden walls, there's a gate guarded by... well, guards. The whole thing looks archaic, actually, like something from the middle ages almost. Except the guards are dressed more like old Japanese guards...

Whatever, hidden land, blah blah blah. I'm sure asking questions about it would just get me more answers that don't help at all. All I need to know right now is that they have spears, swords, and crossbows, from the look of it. None of them would penetrate the suit, I don't think, but they could still go for my head, or even just wrestle me into submission. I may be in shape, but I'm pretty sure even the guards at Black Mesa could subdue me in an instant if they really wanted to. And these guys look a bit more buff than them.

Best to play it cool, then. Apparently Outsiders aren't an uncommon sight here, so hopefully I have that going for me.

Oh yeah, they definitely spotted me by now. No surprise, I'm wearing bright orange in the middle of a bunch of green. They don't look hostile, at least, just suspicious, and I can't really blame them for that, I guess.

Okay, they're tensing up a bit when I walk towards them, but still no pointing sharp things at me. That's a good sign, I think. "Hello, I'm new here and was told this is where humans go."

Now they're looking at me funny. Is there something wrong with my voice that I'm not hearing? "You are an Outsider?"

"Yeah, that."

And just like that, they're less tense. "Very well, then. Once you inside, go to Miss Kamishirasawa. She will assist you further."

Again with the names with too many syllables. At least this one is apparently a last name, which is more acceptable. "Cool, thanks guys."

Huh, the gate is actually smaller than I thought it was. Oh well, doesn't really matter.

So, this is the human village. I mean, it's an accurate title, there sure are... humans. It looks a bit more like a town than a village, though. And the buildings look about halfway between old Japanese houses and old western houses. More weird shit, add it to the list. People give me odd looks, but don't stick around to stare or ask questions. That suits me fine, I have someone to go to.

Kamishawasira... Kamesirashawa... Kanshasawasira... dammit, I can't remember exactly what it was. And it's too late to go back and ask where she is, they'd think I'm a dumbass. Time for the old Freeman technique: instead of finding the person in charge, find a place to get drunk.

Wait, I don't have any money, either.

God... dammit.

I guess I could try and rob a liquor store with my crowbar... but then I'd be a fugitive again. Even if I ditched the suit and took some clothes off a local, I'm not seeing anyone else on the street with a beard, at least not as much as I have. Best case scenario, I'd have to spend a few minutes shaving as fast as I can before I can escape. I don't like my odds of getting away with that.

Oh, nice, they have a small park in here. Only has a couple trees and a dragon statue, but it looks nice enough. I wonder how many drunk people got dared to climb up it...

"Excuse me, are you new here?"

"Jesus, don't sneak up on me like that!"

"Oh, I'm sorry."

Christ, I'm starting to think I have a problem with zoning out. This woman has blue hair, blue dress, blue overly-ornate hat... wonder what her favorite color is.

"Anyway, you are an Outsider, correct?"

"Yeah, I'm looking for a Miss... Kamshashowasora? No, wait-"

"You mean Keine Kamishirasawa?"

"Yes, that's it, thank you. Know where she is, by chance?"

"You're speaking to her."

"Oh, cool, that saves me time. I'm Gordon Freeman." She even has a normal-ish name I can remember easily, score.

Jeez, she has a firm handshake. "So, Mr. Freeman, how long ago did you enter Gensokyo?"

"A few hours ago, I think. Someone named Yukari just kinda dropped me into the forest because-"

"No need to explain further, I understand." Huh, she knows Yukari? "In any case, I hope your journey here was not too dangerous."

"Oh, trust me, the walk here was nothing compared to the last couple days I had."

Now she looks confused. "May I ask why?"

You know, because of the way Waggysaggy reacted to me telling the story, I don't think immediately talking about how I murdered a shitload of aliens and soldiers will do me any favors. "Long story."

I see her looking at my crowbar, but it seems to be enough for her. "Very well, then. Follow me, we can discuss your employment and lodging options."

Right, I can't just freeload, I'd need to start working again. On the bright side, I didn't see anything approximating fast food places in the village, so I won't have to do that again. I already spent my time working in one of those hellholes, and I already promised I'd never do it again. I don't care if my life situation has drastically changed since then, I'm never stepping behind a cash register again.

Keine takes me to I'm guessing the village school, if the layout of the rooms is anything to go by. No kids, though; guess they had today off or something. Her office is kinda small, but super tidy. I can respect that, even though I'm partial to leaving my desk messy. It's not like anyone else should be using it, after all.

"So, what job did you have in the Outside?"

"Theoretical physicist."

That got her attention. "A physicist that wore an armored suit?"

"I was the person at ground zero trying to turn theoretical physics into actual physics."

"Ah, that would make sense..." She flips through some papers she has. "We don't often get scientists here, though."

"Let me guess, I'm very overqualified for a lot of jobs around here?"

"Many, yes, but I know of certain individuals who could benefit from your skillset, and would most likely be willing to employ you."

After some scribbling and shuffling papers, she shows me a few. "Any of these look appealing?"

[ ]A medical job, working for someone named Eirin. I'm technically not that kind of doctor, but it does mean I'd have easy access to drugs...
[ ]There's a Nitori who apparently does a lot of work with robotics and other tech. But then why does everything here seem so primitive...?
[ ]A librarian who is also a magic expert by the name of Patchouli. Apparently there might be overlap with magic and science, and that has me curious. Why does this one have a warning, though?
[ ]Eh, none of these options seem good to me. Maybe I should just wing it in the village, see what opportunity hits me.

fuuuuck

To be honest I think Gordon would probably have the best time with Patchouli if he just wanted to move his skills from his world to this one, but the SDM dynamic is VERY not his thing.

Eirin's tempting but I can't see them get along whatsoever. So-

[X]There's a Nitori who apparently does a lot of work with robotics and other tech. But then why does everything here seem so primitive...?

Kappa. There'd be plenty he'd be interested in with Kappa tech, although he's not an engineer. Plus the weird dynamic of Kappa, with how they can't work very well together and often make things that explode--that'd be fun.

Also, welcome back!

also
>Flat Keine
Canon Keine. Respect

[X]There's a Nitori who apparently does a lot of work with robotics and other tech. But then why does everything here seem so primitive...?

The one most sorted to turning theoretical physics into practical physics. Plus, we have armor for when things inevitably explode, and a crowbar for when kappatalism needs it.

[X]There's a Nitori who apparently does a lot of work with robotics and other tech. But then why does everything here seem so primitive...?

[x] A medical job, working for someone named Eirin. I'm technically not that kind of doctor, but it does mean I'd have easy access to drugs...

yay drugs

[x] A librarian who is also a magic expert by the name of Patchouli. Apparently there might be overlap with magic and science, and that has me curious. Why does this one have a warning, though?

Who wins - one scientist in a suit or a fireball swarm?

>>200379
Remilia and Sakuya would try to kill him in days if not hours.

[x]There's a Nitori who apparently does a lot of work with robotics and other tech. But then why does everything here seem so primitive...?

[X]There's a Nitori who apparently does a lot of work with robotics and other tech. But then why does everything here seem so primitive...?

[x]There's a Nitori who apparently does a lot of work with robotics and other tech. But then why does everything here seem so primitive...?

Yeah, out of all the options here, this one sounds like the best fit for me. "I could go talk to this Nitori person."

Keine nods and puts the rest of the papers away. "I believe that is a wise choice, myself. It is a bit of a walk to her place of... business, but you barely have to go through any forest, so I doubt youkai will be a problem."

"...so, where is she, exactly?"

"Her workshop is near the base of Youkai Mountain. Although, as I understand it, she has it well hidden, so I'll have to give her some advance warning."

She's digging through her desk again...

Is that a fucking cell phone? How the hell does she have that if this place looks so old, tech-wise?

Apparently she didn't have to wait long for an answer. "Hello, Nitori? It's Keine... Oh, yes, still works fine, as you can tell... Yes, yes. Anyway, I was calling to tell you that there is someone here with a certain skillset that could prove useful to you."

'Certain skillset'... way to make a science job sound fishy as hell.

"He says he's a theoretical physicist. A Mister... Freeman, right?"

"DOCTOR Freeman." I didn't correct her earlier to be nice, but if she's talking to someone who's gonna be my new boss, I want to have a good first impression, dammit.

"Dr. Freeman. He's a recently arrived Outsider... Yukari."

Again, how many people here know Yukari?

"Very well, he should be there in about..." She looks at a clock. "...45 minutes to an hour, assuming no problems arise."

Shit, now that she said that, exactly that is going to happen. Thank you, Keine.

"Very well, I'll be sure to tell him... Orange-" She gives me a look. "-armor, beard, glasses... You're welcome... Thank you, goodbye."

She flips the phone closed. I don't wait for her to talk first. "I didn't think people here had cell phones."

"Only a few select people. I don't know how it works, myself, but Nitori was the one responsible for getting them working, and she says that whatever system she made for it, it can only support a handful of phones at a time. This one in particular was probably lost from the Outside."

Huh, reverse engineering a cell tower just from scavenged cell phones? This Nitori chick must have a hell of a brain on her.

"So, what exactly am I looking for when I get there?"

"There's a waterfall at the base of the mountain. Simply stand near that waterfall, and Nitori will eventually spot you and let you into her workshop."

"Ah, the hidden lab trick? I think I like her already."

"One important thing before you leave, though." Why does she look so serious now? "Between this village and the mountain, there is a rather large sunflower field. Please, for your own sake, do not go through that field."

"...why?"

"The resident of that field doesn't take too kindly to humans most of the time, especially if they intrude on her garden. Even with that armor, you'd likely die in a matter of seconds."

Ooookay, sunflowers bad, got it. "Alright then. Any other warnings I should know about?"

"Other than that, nothing more than the usual advice about being careful to not be attacked by youkai. Will you be able to handle yourself?"

"I mean, I'd feel more comfortable if I had my guns on me, but I should be fine."

"Guns?"

Fuck, I wasn't thinking. "Nevermind. Anyway, time for me to go!"

Better get out of here before she starts asking more questions. Into the streets, past the people, ignore the looks, and back at the gate. The guards let me out with an odd look, but I don't stick around for them to ask questions, either. I have a destination now, and I'll be damned if anything will sway me from it.

Oh, damn, there's the sunflower field Keine mentioned. No way I could miss it, really. I don't see anyone in it, but it's big enough that they could be hiding underneath the flowers, possibly.

Well, I already know I'm not going there. Thankfully, as big as it is, there's still enough normal field around it to walk through. Pretty flowers, though.

...wait, are they all facing towards me?

...

...Okay, yeah, they're definitely facing me as I walk by. That is really fucking creepy and I should probably be walking a little faster now.

Fucking magic and cursed flowers and monsters... I'm starting to wonder whether or not being in Gensokyo is better or worse than being in Black Mesa. At least there I knew for sure when I was in immediate danger of dying: all the time! Here, everything looks nice, so death could sneak up on you easy! Hell, if it wasn't for Keine's warning, I'd probably just waltz right through those sunflowers, and then they'd eat me alive or some shit.

How long until that CIA guy picks me up again? Because I don't know how long I can take it here.

There, finally, the field is behind me and I can ignore it. Are they still looking at...? No, not looking back, that's when they'll steal my soul or whatever.

There's a small forest at the base of the mountain, but it's not near as thick as the other one I went through. It doesn't take long to find a river, and then I just have to follow the sounds to reach the waterfall.

More nice nature, here. Birds chirping, water's clear enough to see some fish... See, this is why this place gives me doubts. As good as it looks, I'm sure those fish are poisonous, or something. Or the water is actually acidic, and it'll melt my insides if I try to drink it. With Gensokyo, who knows! So many things can kill you, but everything looks nice! Visit today!

...I need to find a gun. I'll feel a lot safer then.

"Dr. Freeman?"

"AAAAAGH WHAT THE FUCK?!"

Crowbar didn't hit anything, but I know I heard that right behind me!

"Woah, calm down!"

Why is the air talking to me?! Is this more bullshit?

Oh, the air is changing, and now it's another blue-hair girl in a blue dress with a green hat. At least not everything everyone wears is blue, I guess.

Also, her dress has a lot of pockets, and she's wearing a key as a necklace... thing. What?

Oh, now she's offering a hand. "Nitori Kawashiro, at your service!"

Alright, calm down, deep breath, put away crowbar, and accept the handshake. "Gordon Freeman. Apparently I'll be helping you now?"

"Yep! We don't see many scientists show up here in Gensokyo, let alone physicists. But you and me working together, I feel like we'll make great things!"

Yeah, the PR guy for Black Mesa said about the same thing, and look how that turned out. "Just as long as we don't open up portals to alien worlds."

"Oh, don't worry, I don't do anything related to portals."

Thank God, that's one possibility out.

"Yukari has a lock on that field, anyway."

Again with the Yukari mention. At least I can sort of understand this one.

Why is she pointing a remote at that rock?

Oh right, secret hidden lab or whatever. That's why it's opening to reveal a staircase. On the bright side, at least I now get to mark 'become a Bond villain' off my bucket list.

The stairs don't go too far down before they open into a pretty decent size workshop. The place is an absolute mess, with all kinds of machinery and mechanical pieces scattered around. There's still clear paths between the entrance, a bed near one of the back corners, and a number of doors against each wall. One door is clearly marked as a bathroom, while the others are unmarked entirely; extra storage, probably.

"Welcome to where the magic happens!" Nitori sweeps a hand over the piles of junk. "Well, not actual magic, but you get the point."

"It's kind of... cluttered."

"Don't worry, it's a mess, but it's my mess. I know where everything is."

After a moment, she chuckles. "Well, I don't have anything I'm really working on right now, so I guess it's up to you where we start."

[ ]Those doors look interesting. Let's get a full tour of this place.
[ ]Try digging through the nearest pile of stuff to find something I recognize. Hopefully it won't kill me.
[ ]This is Nitori's place, it should be her job to decide where to start. It's kinda bullshit to put that choice on a guest who knows nothing about the place.
[ ]Over the past 30 hours or so, I've been shot at, chased, attacked, and otherwise in mortal peril. I am fucking exhausted, and that bed is calling to me.

[X]This is Nitori's place, it should be her job to decide where to start. It's kinda bullshit to put that choice on a guest who knows nothing about the place.

Cause this is what he'd pick.

[x] Over the past 30 hours or so, I've been shot at, chased, attacked, and otherwise in mortal peril. I am fucking exhausted, and that bed is calling to me.

If we don't do this, it's gonna be another repeat of the Resonance Cascade. Even without the portal tech, it's gonna happen. Vote for not flooding the workshop with headcrabs today!

>More nice nature, here. Birds chirping, water's clear enough to see some fish... See, this is why this place gives me doubts. As good as it looks, I'm sure those fish are poisonous, or something. Or the water is actually acidic, and it'll melt my insides if I try to drink it. With Gensokyo, who knows! So many things can kill you, but everything looks nice! Visit today!

>"Dr. Freeman?"

>"AAAAAGH WHAT THE FUCK?!"

I read these with Ross' voice. You really capture the essence of Freeman.

[x]Try digging through the nearest pile of stuff to find something I recognize. Hopefully it won't kill me.

[X]Those doors look interesting. Let's get a full tour of this place.

[X]Over the past 30 hours or so, I've been shot at, chased, attacked, and otherwise in mortal peril. I am fucking exhausted, and that bed is calling to me.

[X]Those doors look interesting. Let's get a full tour of this place.

[X]Those doors look interesting. Let's get a full tour of this place.

is this thread still alive? is OP still writing?

I can't answer the second question, but given that it's been two years since the last update, the first one gets a resounding NO.