[X] Sleepy build. Jam in more weapons. It doesn’t matter if the enemies are already dead.

You figured that you can take infinite heat and the shutdown timer would be the same anyway.

Unfortunately, the cross section between weapons that do not lose half their damage due to shutting down, and weapons that can be boated are just PPCs, and to a limited extent short burst lasers, so you end up getting cored anyway since it turns out, you’re not exactly fighting an equal tonnage worth of mechs here.

“MAN FUCK THIS GAME!” You swear as you toss your mouse across the desk.

OM_NOM_NOM: JUST PUT IN THE HEAT SINKS

THubert: literally just put in more heat sinks

THubert: or play an autocannon build

Switching off the energy boat you were on, you grab one of the mechs on the market that has cannons. “Woah, I can fire this all day without overheating. Ammo? Oh, ammo.”

You’d much rather have one ton of ammo than one ton of heat sinks though. Foisting off the energy boat on a teammate, you have a good deal of fun just trapezing through the missions just blazing away…though, it is getting very late, or rather very early, and you feel…sleepy…

…

You wake up to the underground sun shining through your window, and a stream chat full of ResidentSleeper emotes. Is your sleep schedule just going to be cracked from now on? Nah, you have infinite days to correct it, unlike dumb humans with their short lifespans. Muttering an apology, you switch off the screen.

Opening the door, you skip down to the river and strip off, before diving in. This was your morning shower, whenever you bother to get one, which was rare. However, an overnight gaming session made you feel somewhat dirty.

What are you doing anyway? Your viewership numbers are not going up for your gaming streams, and when the Persian miniature trend dies out in Korea you’ll be scavenging for views. No, you gotta expand. Maybe do more art! And get started with your initial idea of dabbing on humans with your youkai reflexes in competitive online games!

Touching CS:GO aside though…how are you going to improve your art? Do you even want to?

“Hey.” Looking up, you instinctively shirk back as you see a certain red-white miko on the bridge, looking down at you with haggard eyes.

“Hey…” You reply cautiously, drawing back your powers.

“You are…making the Outside World money by doing ‘art’ streams, right? Whatever those are. That Reisen girl told me as much.”

You are going to KILL Reisen, but that’s for another time. “Yes…?”

“Well I just got manipulated and possessed, but that’s beside the point.” She gestured at a cave off to the side, which you recognize as leading to a particular realm you’re not too familiar with, “New Hell’s home to a new goddess, who specializes in art and crafts. She might be willing to teach you something.”

“For free?”

“Bring offers of potting clay, that’s my recommendation. Hmm…wait.” She sniffs the air, “Something smells good.”

You smell eggs and toast. Getting out of the tub, you crack open the door. “Yan?”

“Hmm?” The boy turns back to you in an apron, one of your unused pans in his hand. On it sizzles eggs and sliced mantou, drizzled with…did he buy butter while he was in the Village? It smells absolutely delectable, and your stomach growls in anticipation.

“Making breakfast for us, then I got to go to the Village…err…I mean, go to work.”

“Right but I don’t recall asking you to…”

“You didn’t.” He replied. He then blinks, and then turns slightly red. “You mind um, putting on some clothes…”

“Sure.” You go grab the towel hanging on the outside of your house to dry off, “Thanks a gigaton. And can you cook another portion? We got a guest.”

Reimu positively beamed when you invited her into your house, not even noticing that you’re soaking in her jealousy. “This is so good! If only I could afford butter regularly, I’d…”

“Well you could soon enough.” You say with a false smile. You really have mixed feelings about the tax. On one hand, it’s a tax, on the other hand, seeing the shrine maiden envious of you of all people is something money can’t usually buy.

Reimu’s wide, innocent smile, so distinct from what you’re used to of her, catches you off guard. She doesn’t give thanks, but something about her jealousy…or rather admiration makes you feel…odd, and tingly.

Is admiration just a positive form of jealousy? It doesn’t taste as good, sort of like stale bread, but you have developed an endless voracity for the family of emotions, partially out of desperation from being, for years, under a bridge no one crossed, and partially from how this feels…kinda nice.

The shrine maiden jabbered away about the incident, and you take notes on the parts relevant to the goddess. Apparently it’s the god of soil and pottery: Haniyasu, coming down to take pity on the humans trapped in the Animal Realm. It’s a shame she failed…but that means she wouldn’t be picky on new worshippers for the time. Even a hashihime would be welcome, or so Reimu seems to imply.

Yan hurries off after finishing his portion to his new courier job, no doubt so he has an excuse to look after that fox child that he seems to have taken responsibility for for whatever reason. And after you feed Reimu a second portion to send her off, you decide it’s time for a field trip to a neighboring realm that despite its proximity, you’ve never been to before.

“Keiki Haniyasushin…”

You head down to the town and buy up a whole hand-wagon’s worth of potting clay. The earth spiders are the ones supplying the clay, given how they live closer to the surface, and the one running the shop raises an eyebrow and scratches one of her legs at you buying so much.

“I didn’t know you were into pottery as well.”

“I’m not.” You check the price on the cartful of clay you got. “Wait…why is this so expensive? 3000 yen for 4 pounds?”

“New Hell. Dunno the client.”

Dammit, of course that goddess would’ve purchased clay from the closest sources. You really want this cart to be full to look better, after all, a half-full cart speaks of poverty and/or miserly behavior.

“Wait here.” You get a sudden idea. “Let me fetch my partner.”

The streets were just beginning to open up, and it is fortunate, you think to yourself, that the art store also opens early. “Saishiki!”

“Yo!” The art store oni waves back from behind the counter, “What is going on with the cart?”

“I’m off to visit New Hell for art lessons from the new art goddess that just showed up there. You want to come along?” You think for a moment on how to crack the topic, then decide that with oni, it’s best to be straightforward, “I need some help chipping in for an offering of clay.”

“Oh really? That’s great!” The oni shudders the shop and comes over to you, while you begin heading back to the clay shop. “Clay has been getting expensive recently, huh?”

The white-haired oni happily chips in for a quarter of the cart’s worth of clay. “Art lessons from Haniyasu herself! Wasn’t there word that she favored humans over youkai though?”

“She favored primates over other animals.” You say, “You and I are both primates as far as that angle is concerned, if someone like Kaenbyou were to go there she may have a rough time.”

This seems to assure Saishiki, though you’re not too sure of your assertion yourself. But it’s worth a try.

The trip to the Animal Realm includes a vengeful spirit-powered ferry ride down one of the underworld rivers, where you had to pay yet more money. “An arm and a leg.” You mutter, though Saishiki assures you it’s better than walking through all the tunnels. Unlike Reimu who was almost definitely harassed by the natives in the area, you encounter no resistance, being of the same existence as an abandoned spirit, or so you thought.

A short walk up from the cavern pier and up a ramp leads you into a scene that briefly blinds you. Cars whiz by on brightly lit asphalt streets, illuminated by neon lights from massive skyscrapers that nearly reach the cavern roof of this Hell realm. Hawkers occupy the sidewalks, selling various soul-crafted cuisines and underworld delicacies from electrically-powered stalls. It’s all animals, most choosing a mostly animalistic (or some on the web would call, “furry”) bipedal forms, though some are more Gensokyo-standard.

It’s like the Outside World over here, but animals.

“You’ve been here before, Saishiki?”

“Of course!” The oni seems unfazed by all of this, “Not everything in the shop can be procured from just our Old Hell, you know. I don’t come here often though, because of the tolls.”

“You mean, aside from the ferry…” You are cut off suddenly by some of the people loitering around the pier exit converging towards you. These animals are all eagles, but all seem to have suits and…are those knuckledusters on their talons?

“Heyya.” The one in front says in a boorish tone, “This exit is under the protection of the Gouyoku Alliance. If you don’t want anything happening to you two or that cart of your’s, there’s a small insurance fee.”

There’s too many of them, and you’re not a good judge of their combat capabilities. But if an oni like Saishiki had to pay up, they must not be pushovers. You debate internally if it’s worth turning up their jealousy to cause a distraction, when…

“Hey, aren’t you that one streamer?” One of the eagles suddenly pipes up upon seeing your face. “Mizuhashi297? I watch your art streams!”

“Uh…” Wait what? They have internet over here?

“Yeah, I’ve seen you when crawling the Outside World’s web! Twitch recommendations!” Another mafia member pipes up.

Come to think of it, you did here word on the streets in Former Hell that the Animal Realm had tech that was just two decades behind the Outside World rather than a century behind like Gensokyo. You could see it here, but they also have a direct feed…well yes, they’re not under the Barrier, technically, you think? But they would have needed the knowledge to advance like this.

“I TOLD YOU TO PUT IN MORE HEAT SINKS!”

This one came from behind and slightly below you. A woman. Rather angrily. Wait how can they even run MW5 with like, Windows 95?

[ ] Ask if they want an autograph
[ ] RUN
[ ] Try to small talk your way onwards
[ ] ASSERT DOMINANCE, you don’t need heat sinks where you’re going

[X] ASSERT DOMINANCE, you don’t need heat sinks where you’re going

“Now listen here you energy boating little shit!” You shout as you turn around to confront your accuser…and see nothing at first, only when you move your eyes downward do you behold what resembles a very irritated gray sheep staring back at you.

“Energy boating? You weren’t even energy boating! You had a stock loadout Centurion and you just kept firing everything at once! You could just downgrade your missile slot and put in a few more heatsinks but noooo….” The sheep rants at you, before licking her lips, “Hmm, I wonder what you taste like.”

“Sour.” You flatly state. “Very, very sour and unpleasant.”

“Parsee!” Saishiki runs up to you and whispers (as much as an oni usually does, which is quite loud, though you’re certain this time it’s intentional), “That’s Yuuma Toutetsu, leader of the Gouyoku Alliance here in New Hell! She’s kind of a big shot yakuza leader!”

“And?” You dismiss her warning, leading to the surrounding eagles gasping at you, “What is a yakuza leader to a mediocre streamer! Other than the money, the power, the supporters, the personal strength, and hundreds of other things.”

Yuuma opens her sharp-toothed mouth as if to say something, but clearly something about the way you made that absurd statement threw her off. She quickly regains her composure however, and says darkly, “Well, sour or not, I have not eaten a hashihime before. You claim that you’re sour? Let’s see what sort of lemon tart you really are underneath your attitude.”

A little bit of fear struck you, but you got the feeling that this Yuuma is trying to chicken you out. “Go ahead, if being in an eternal cycle of envy and self-hatred is what you want, eat me! Free me from this existence!” You spread your arms, “I have not succeeded in suicide before, so make my day!”

Yuuma stares at you, wide-eyed, “You…are bitter, not sour. Blegh.” She waves her hand. “Grab this needy streamer, I’m going to show her why she should be taking heat sinks.”

You maintain a smile as two burly eagles grab you by the arm and drag you downtown. Saishiki was initially blocked by the other eagles from passing, but Yuuma looked at her artist’s apron and nodded, “Let her come along, she can help us paint the ‘Mechs.”

“I didn’t know you had the rigs needed to run modern games here.” You say to Yuuma.

“We don’t. But…”

You were hearing loud noises in the distance since you left the fairy, and thought them to be industrial processes. But now you could see that they were explosions and emulated weapons fire.

At around the center of the Animal Realm city, where the guide pamphlet on the ferry told you there was a lake with an island holding human souls for the animals to gawk at, you behold a swamp. An artificial swamp. The lake had dykes constructed to hold back water from this particular narrow section, and in the reclaimed land you could see that artificial terrain had been plopped down, seemingly at random, and defenses constructed on both sides. In the distance, on the other side of the lake, you could see a fortress, undergoing what looked to be reconstruction or renovation.

And in this swamp, you see a game of MechWarrior, or would it be a life-sized game of BattleTech? Giant clay sculptures, possessed by animal spirits or appearing to be living haniwa, shaped to resemble the ‘Mechs in the game, firing danmaku at each other and occasionally engaging in melee combat. The ground shakes with the impact of simulated autocannon and artillery shells, and a virtual disco show is present from all the lasers thrown around, further discernable from the thick clouds of contrail residue from all the missiles. All in all, a very Gensokyean spectacle.

“Welcome to the Human Sanctuary battle front.” Yuuma pulls out a pair of sunglasses and a pipe, and surveys the blasted wasteland in front of you. Sprawling wreckages of clay sculptures shaped to look like mechs, of both exceedingly fine make and rather crude sculpting, litter the field. Squinting, you could also make out Armored Core, Gundam, and various other mecha designs you do not quite recognize mixed in with the others in the ruins. Distinctly not copyright-friendly, this battlefield was…is that a dreadnaught from 40k?

“You guys are playing MechWarrior here?” You look on in disbelief. “Not danmaku?”

“We’ve gotten bored of most of the historical games..” Yuuma gestures at a pile of discarded musketeer uniforms and mock gear in the corner, “...and our opponent refuses to try Warhammer even after I went to the trouble of making a couple models, so giant robots it is.” You hear an eagle screech as one of Yuuma’s Hunchbacks blows apart, sending the eagle spirit flying off into the sky, screaming. “And of course this counts as danmaku! Just giant, slowly moving ones. Hey!” Yuuma snaps at a group of eagle spirits molding and painting a King Crab out of reeds and clay, “I wanted that Assault ‘Mech done twenty minutes ago! What’s the hold up?”

“This thing can’t stand upright by itself, boss!”

“Use some more steel rods then! It’s not like the rules of the battlefield here car about the actual material.” Yuuma picks up a loudspeaker and points it towards the island in the distance, “Keiki Haniyasushin! Today is the day you will rue being born from Izanami! The King Crab lance will finish what those surface dwellers started: the total dominance of the Primate Spirit Garden by the Gouyoku Alliance!”

Haniyasushin? Haniyasu is the opponent here? You’ve got a bad feeling about this, especially as a spray of danmaku comes up from the ruined fortress on the other side, spelling out in clear Japanese: “Try me.”

“So…why did you drag me here?” You ask.

“Why did I drag you here? Miss I’m-Too-Good-For-Heat-Sinks?” Yuuma says with a wide, sharp-toothed grin. “You are going to be piloting one of these clay models of course! I’ve picked out four specific ‘Mechs just for you, none of which had additional heat sinks installed! Don’t worry about using your magical energy…one of my eagles will be acting as the reactor, but there will be no assistance for your skills.”

You stare at her. Is this what they meant by cyberstalking? You’ve seen what you now figured was Yuuma’s handle in your stream chat a couple times, but never thought much of it, but your disdain of heat sinks apparently has dragged you into a glorified gladiator arena. A part of you is fine with this though…you WILL show her that heat sinks are for losers.

“Fine, show me to my rides.” You say, not breaking eye contact. Yuuma’s grin grows wider, and the eagles drag you off to what appears to be a mock garage.

You vaguely recall something about how Mechwarrior’s armor numbers were twice that of tabletop, but surely that just means things blow up faster, and if things blow up faster you don’t have to worry about overheating as much. The mechs Yuuma have on offer are not half bad…as long as you assume they’re playing around the tech level you were playing at in MW5.

Cracking your knuckles, you take a good look at the clay ‘Mechs she had lined up.

[ ] Hunchback HBK-4G, medium mech with good armor, very big gun. With your generally lackadaisical attitude towards bothering with things, this is the most straightforward option.
[ ] Blackjack BJ-2O, long-medium ranged fire support medium with a mixed arsenal. It even has jump jets to get you out of trouble, making it quite a safe pick.
[ ] Axman AXM-1N, heavy mech with a big gun and a big hatchet. That hatchet is easily converted to a hammer…and the other hand is free. You wonder if you could ask Yuuma for some ‘Mech-scale nails and curse dolls…
[ ] Atlas AS7-D, fuck it.

[X] Axman AXM-1N, heavy mech with a big gun and a big hatchet. That hatchet is easily converted to a hammer…and the other hand is free. You wonder if you could ask Yuuma for some ‘Mech-scale nails and curse dolls…

=====

“Reactors Online, Sensors Online, Weapons Online, All Systems Nominal!” You shout, startling the eagle spirit currently powering the clay mech below you. “Where we’re going we don’t need any heat sinks!”

Grabbing one of the nails from the satchel, you activate the “jump jets”, hearing the eagle screech in exertion as it struggles to propel all this pottery through the air. Landing on the top of a small hillock, you stride on past a friendly Shadow Hawk dueling a Centurion. The Centurion haniwa turns to look at you, only to immediately receive an AC/20 shot to the face. The modeled cockpit shatters into clay shards as you continue forward.

“Activate the Triple Strength Myomer!” You shout at the eagle spirit as you fire a barrage of lasers at some distant targets, hitting nothing but driving your heat up.

“We don’t HAVE TSM it’s mostly IntroTech GAHHH!” The eagle protests, before being silenced by you focusing your power onto it while sticking a nail into the modeled reactor core. “Fine fine! TSM is on!”

Barreling forward, you activate the jump jets at the apex of your forward momentum, propelling you forward at great speed. An enemy Vindicator looks up just in time to see the foot of your clay mech crashing into its left torso.

“Fear the wrath of the Axman!” You shout. Instead of backing up and attacking with your AC/20, you pull out another nail and with the hammer, drive it directly into the haniwa’s foot. Being a practiced reflex rather than a deliberate piloting motion, the enemy mech is caught off guard as it attempts to pull back, only to find itself immobilized. Hapless, it appears to de-animate before it eats a hammer directly to the cockpit.

“Who’s next?” You swing the hammer around and stare out at the enemy lines. Spinning up the jump jets again, you bunny-hop your way across the battlefield in bounds and leaps, only stopping occasionally to “nagel und hammer” some poor haniwa to the ground before pounding them into submission. With most of the eagles and haniwa on the field only recently having picked up the “game” and are only piloting their models with mediocre efficiency, your reckless tactic actually gets you quite some ways into enemy territory, until…

“Halt! Eagle spirit! This is as far as you get!” Something big leaps, blotting out the cave ceiling briefly before skidding to a halt in front of you. You squint: The mech in front of you is no BattleMech. Is it a Gundam? Or is it…yep, exposed weapon systems, back holsters, western-ish design, it’s an Armored Core.

You wonder how many random clay mechs from various franchise Haniyasu had sitting around before they agreed to run BT as the system with their enemies.

“Entering combat mode! Primal Armor online! I, Joutouguu Mayumi, shall strike you down where you stand in my Yumi…I mean, Archer-class mech!”

“Err…that’s not an ‘Yumi’ nor an Archer.” You stare at the jet-boosting rules violation running circles around you, gleaming with multiple layers of magical shielding. “That’s uhh…is that ‘White Glint’’s mech or something? Eh, fuggit.”

You begin channeling your own energies into the clay model, overcharging its simulated performance beyond its rules as well…more than you’ve already broken the rules already. “Reactor output at 150%, engaging lateral jump-jets!” You cry out into the loudspeaker against Mayumi, both of which were things definitely not included within the mech’s spec sheet.

The enemy “Archer” pops open its hatches and disgorges a swarm of missiles at you, which you nimbly avoid by forcing your mech into a slide after forcing its jump jets sideways, causing your eagle spirit to screech in pain at the stress being forced upon the clay frame. The swarm of missile danmaku flies over your head as you force the clay mech into a lunge maneuver.

“Too slow!” You hear Mayumi call out as you whiff the first lunge. Ignoring her, you force the clay mech into a 180 degree turn that pops the left leg clean off. Good thing the jump jets are torso-mounted!

“Gotcha!” You cry out as you smash the hammer straight into the enemy mech’s arm, tearing it straight off and sending the mech careening out midair. Unfortunately for you, this strain also tears the arm off of your mech, and the eagle spirit serving as the reactor to pass out completely.

Popping open the cockpit, you leap out without bothering with the ejection seat. With a thud, and a series of loud cracks, the Axman model lands on the ground in a heap of pottery shards and a dazed eagle spirit crawling out. You on the other hand, land on top of it, more or less unscathed.

“Human pilot? No…a youkai? A living youkai?” You hear “Mayumi” say incredulously. Turning around, you see a boot kick open the panel of its grounded mech. Out emerges an armored humanoid…being. Is she a youkai? It looks like she’s made of clay as well…but much more durable than these false mecha. You thought she was part of the mech, just like the other ones. “You’re working against Lord Haniyasushin?”

“I’m here for art lessons from her, actually!” You blurt out, buffing out your chest. “Sorry about the confrontation.”

Mayumi raises an eyebrow, “And you, youkai, are…?”

“I am…”

[ ] Mizuhashi Parsee, a fellow artist
[ ] Mizuhashi Parsee, a bridge keeper in Old Hell
[ ] Mizuhashi Parsee, a mercenary MechWarrior(™)
[ ] Mizuhashi Parsee, a mysterious loner with a dark heart

[x] Mizuhashi Parsee, a fellow artist

“And why were you serving on the side of the enemy?” Mayumi points her sword at you accusingly.

“I was kidnapped and conscripted.” You tell the truth. “I was here for art lessons from your master, honest! I even had an offering for you but it’s currently on the other side of the battlefield. I’ll see if I can talk to Yuuma to get it back.”

“With those piloting moves? I find it hard to believe you were just an artist.”

Your eyes narrow, “I played quite a bit of the video game your massive multiplayer tabletop session here is based on.”

“Ah…” Mayumi nods, “That must be how you got the beast spirits’ attention. Very well. Ahem.” Picking up a loudspeaker, Mayumi shouts, “We got your prisoner…err…”

“Mizuhashi Parsee, I’m a hashihime from Old Hell.”

“...Mizuhashi Parsee here! You’re not getting her back for a bit!”

Mayumi then ties a rope around your wrist (just one, not even bothering to cuff you properly) before leading you into the fortress-city’s walls.

And at the gate, observing the battle through a pair of binoculars, is a blue haired sculptor with a very much divine air about her. This is no lesser goddess you ran into during your brief forays above ground. No, this is a primordial entity, fattened on worship from a large, if deceased, populace.

“Master Keiki!” Mayumi reports, “I’ve caught a prisoner of war!”

Keiki Haniyasushin looks down at you, curiously. “That does not look like an eagle spirit.”

“No, this is a hashihime from Old Hell, who claims to have been conscripted while traveling here for art lessons.”

“She’s telling the truth.” Keiki declares before you even prepare to defend yourself. “The paint under your nails tells me as much. You may release her and return to your duties.”

Mayumi nods, and lets you go, before leaving you alone with Keiki.

A few moments of dramatic silence ensues, an artist’s attempt at dramatic airs, occurs before Keiki asks, “Tell me, why do you do art?”

“To make other people jealous of me?”

“Hmph.” Keiki doesn’t seem disappointed in your reply as you expected. “So, you draw for others.”

“In a way…yes, you can say that.”

“Most do.” Keiki leads you onwards into the fortress-city. Rows upon rows of haniwa stand guard over the streets, while the faint shades of human spirits, condemned to the Animal Realm by sin, hurry to and fro between the various buildings, whose purposes are hard to discern at a glance. “While one may idealize the artist as one who expresses their inner self to the world, historically, those who find steady employment as artists tend to work for their patrons.”

“And you?”

“I turned the earth into clay for humans, I taught the secrets of pottery to benefit humans, and now, I mold the clay into weapons to protect humans.” Keiki smiles, “But I do enjoy it, it is what I was born for, after all.”

“From…right…that.” You recall what Haniyasu came from. Keiki doesn’t seem to mind, but Izanami sure would if she was listening in.

After all, someone liberated her from the Underworld before Japan was created, and she could do whatever Izanagi could.

“It is surprising that you would come to me. While I do know of many ways to paint haniwa, and can wield a brush well, I am not so well-versed in the art of portrait and landscape-making through the medium of oil and water.”

“Actually.” The two of you stop in front of her massive workshop that forms the heart of the city. The entrance is framed by calligraphy and depictions of humanoid figures toiling and crafting, a testament to the sort of spirits serviced here. Inside, you can see the faint glow of the kilns, and the moving figures of haniwa baking more of their fellows in the forge…alongside the toy ‘Mech parts she was using in their little war. You pause, running your hand on the stone doors. “I was hoping to learn pottery from you as well as painting techniques.”

“And why is that? You found eminence and purpose in crafting clay with your own hands?”

“That and diversifying my talents.” You say, not quite understanding what exactly were the chain of choices that led you here in the first place. Out of the corner of your eye, you catch Bob Ross winking at you and giving you a thumbs up. “And yes, after piloting one of Yuuma’s creations, I can see what pottery has to offer.”

“If one of their crude models can get you inspired like this, then…” Keiki throws open the door, “This workshop ought to draw you onto the path.”Inside the workshop, the air is thick with the scent of wet clay and the metallic tang of tools well-used. The tall ceiling allows for the half-finished sculptures of various gaming miniatures (you recognize at least three different wargames in here) to stand tall on display while hordes of haniwa tend to them with brushes and glazes. Shelves line the walls, overflowing with jars of pigments, brushes, and carving instruments of all shapes and sizes. Raw clay lie in piles across the concrete floor, waiting to be molded.

“Art gives us purpose, art is purpose.” Keiki turns towards you, a softer look on her face, “In a way, you evoking jealousy in many ways is an artform, if a despicable one. So why not find a reason within yourself to pursue art for its own purpose?”

Find a reason within yourself? It seems this goddess wants you to convert to her way of thinking before teaching you anything. Fair enough. You walk to the front of the landing and stare down at the busy haniwa. Great chunks of carved clay are born on conveyor belts and great chains into the furnaces, for more to be made. It is practical, yes, but if Keiki really just needed soldiers, she would not have bothered glazing or painting most of them. Yet…she does so regardless, for her own pleasure.

So why can you not engage in an activity for its own pleasure, aside from feeding on jealousy? You suddenly experience a vision of future Parsee, overweight and bloated from online jealousy, sitting on a gaming chair like some sort of streaming youkai slug.

Whatever you will become, you will not become that. Of course not! What you will become…

Will become…

You still cannot change the fundamental issue of your very existence

“That’s right.” An enlightened crisis strikes you. “I am an artform! You see this?” You point at yourself and quote something you found online, “This is art right here, I'm doing it right now. This is performance art! This is a living painting you're seeing!”

“Eh… that’s not quite what I meant.”

“No, Lord Haniyasu. Don’t you see? We’re just dancers on someone else’s strings! No different than puppets on TV! We are born, we act, and we die according to the whims of a cosmic artist painting a story!”

“I suppose you can see fate itself that way?”

“No no no, it’s not fate, it’s a will. Call it a universal will or something like that…here.” Frantically, you grab the sculpting tools from the shelf and start working on an untouched block. “I have no idea what I’m doing, but if I am correct then…”

You start by slicing large chunks of clay off the block into a roughly humanoid figure. Then, with unpracticed hands, you begin crudely chiseling a human out of it. A simple triangle that you hand-mold is the nose. A pair of orbs you rolled becomes the eyes that you jam in sockets. You carve hands and feet out of flattened disks before molding them on, and then attempt to sculpt a torso by eyeballing it and semi-randomly carving what you think musculature looks like on a person.

After two hours of non-stop work, with Keiki staring at you the whole time, you turn and shout. “BEHOLD, A MAN!”

Keiki’s face slumps into her hands as she gazes upon your “magnificent” sculpture. “I would like to say it is good for an amateur, but that would be lying…first of all, why are its facial features and hands so big?

“They’re the most sensitive portions on a human…and by extension, to us. They’re what a human uses the perceive the world…and expect from it. I exist…because humans want to know why they become unreasonably jealous of other people. ‘A hashihime cursed me’, they would say. And so, hashihime had to exist. They also do not remember when they discovered the art of pottery, so a god must have taught it to them. Perhaps that was always the case, do you remember?”

Keiki remains silent for a few moments. “That is how it always has been, yes. Gods exist for humans, and humans exist for gods as I previously said. But this is the first time I have heard a youkai declare that.”

“Well, upstairs in Gensokyo, it is semi-common knowledge that youkai feed upon the fear of humans, but they never consider the reciprocal: blame. Without youkai, without the veneer of mystery over the physical world, humans have nothing sapient but themselves to blame for misfortunes, for hardship. They could curse the gods, but it is unwise to curse those you worship. You suck in a deep breath. “We…exist for humans as much as you do.”

Keiki’s tone turns softer, “That is not entirely incorrect. But, mayhaps, you have some experience with excessive blame? Not every youkai comes from misfortune or bad events after all, such as the karakasa-obake.”

“I…But I exist solely so humans could blame their pangs of jealousy on something other than themselves. If I do not accept this existence, then I will crumble to dust, as just a common woman who should have died centuries ago. Yet I…”

“PARSEE!” You are interrupted by a familiar voice yell as a wheelbarrow crashes across the battlefield, smashing apart a clay mech in her way like the toy it is. Saishiki, bearing the offering of clay, comes skidding to a halt in front of the gate. “I was so worried!”

“Ah, I see you did bring an offering.” Keiki smiled, “You’re here for art lessons as well?”

“Uh, yeah!” The white-haired oni awkwardly scratches her hair, “Parsee recommended you.”

[ ] Let’s start with the familiar: painting
[ ] Try your hand at Keiki’s specialty: ceramics, first.
[ ] Let’s go out the left field and try sculpting with stone. As a god of the earth in addition to clay and pottery, you can do that too, right Keiki?

=============================================================================

By performing in public in front of hundreds, and witnessing another one achieve it, she has gained the Will to Stand Up Straight.

By knowing when to evoke jealousy, and when to stop. By learning when to be human, and when to be youkai, she has learned the Rationality to Maintain Discretion.

By improving herself beyond her duties and roles, she Hopes to be a Better Person.

She has witnessed someone close to her gain the Fearlessness to Continue Living.

Discovering……the Expectation for the Meaning of Existence…

HEART OF _________ LIBERATION: 40%

[X] Let’s go out the left field and try sculpting with stone. As a god of the earth in addition to clay and pottery, you can do that too, right Keiki?

“Stone? I could teach you stone.” Keiki goes over to one of the shelves and pulls out a thicker-looking set of chisels and rounded mallets. “Here, there are your tools.”

“Eh? Nothing fancier?”

She twirled a small jackhammer around, “Not until you can carve some basic katakana into slate.” Keiki gestures at some roofing slates she has on the shelves, “If you would, carve out a “カ” onto one of these. Should be easy.”

You and Saishiki dutifully grab one of them and head over to one of the workbenches. Almost too eager, you begin winding up a large swing onto the chisel when Keiki grabs your arm.

“Parsee, you will break the stone.”

“Ah, right.” This isn’t hammering dolls into a tree, this is stuff that’s not supposed to break. “Well. Let’s try gently tapping it…”

“You measure and draw. Twice. Then start chiseling. This isn’t like painting where you can often fix your mistakes with a new layer.

“Got it…” You sigh, picking up a piece of chalk and carefully drawing the character onto the slate.

“Now, start chiseling, let me see your forms. It is indeed more effortful than clay molding, but for youkai like you who are naturally strong in the arm, it should be no more difficult than clay. And, because stone holds itself up better, it is better for detail work.” Keiki smugly places her hand against her chest, “Of course, unless you are very experienced with clay.”

“Ehh…” With your youkai strength, the slate you are carving is practically wood, though you also have no experience in wood carving. Much like the crude clay figure you molded, this piece of stone is turning out to be full of rough edges, scratches, and other undesirable elements that greatly reduce its aesthetic appeal.

“Chat is this for real?” You sigh, looking at your phone and considering whether or not to stream this. “No reception? In the one place around Gensokyo they probably do have cell phones?”

“You’ll need to pay for a SIM card first, and it will only work in the Animal Realm. Plus, the mafia gangs charge out the nose.” Saishiki says.

“Bollocks.” Nonetheless, you continue, with Keiki occasionally adjusting your hands to get better angles on the chiseling. Unlike with mere human strength and motor control, you chip off whole flakes of stone, and thus can leverage this to effectively bypass large portions of tedium that humans have to deal with. Keiki understands this, and you soon find yourself finishing steps in seconds what humans usually take minutes to do.

But, isn’t that counterproductive?

Aren’t you trying to kill time anyway by doing this?

‘Lady Haniyasushin…” You ask as you finish carving out the first letter.

“Yes?”

“Is there a slower way of going about things?”

She frowns, “You simply have to tap very, very lightly, ensuring only tiny amounts of material are removed at a time. But that is inefficient with your capabilities.”

“Yes, but…I am seeing if I can make the process more…entertaining? In front of an audience.”

“If you’re trying to make your audience fall asleep, yes.” Keiki sighs, “Sculpting is ultimately about the end product, not the journey, at least, that’s my opinion as a divine being on these affairs. The only time I had an audience was when I taught the first humans of Japan the secrets of stone and pottery.”

She waves her hand, and a stream of tools fly off the shelves. A block of stone levitates off from the ground, and you watch in fascination as chisels and hammers dash right at the stone, cracking it and breaking it apart in a cloud of stone dust. Half a minute of chiseling and working later, the cloud clears, revealing a small statuette of an elephant.

“Though, I suppose if the audience is interested in learning and taking notes, the journey is important. It’s all context.” She sets the elephant down next to you, “I’ve heard in the Outside World they’ve got these ‘3D printers’ that perform all of the sculpting for you, which may go too far in removing the journey altogether.”

“Well, some people just want to use the pieces without working on them.” You wonder if you could get reliable shipping to Gensokyo and run a model-painting business on the side. Nah, too much work, plus you’ve still got your day job that you’ve been stuck with.

You continue carving more characters into the slate as Keiki further instructs you. Inch by inch, flake by flake, you chisel out a simple haiku. It is nothing impressive, and, looking to the side, Saishiki had broken ten slates in the process but had gotten it done before you. You suppose it helps that, as an oni, she could just use the chisel like a pen while you actually still have to use a mallet.

“Hey…you ever thought of selling these things top-side?” You say, setting down the slate and touching the elephant.

“My hands are full just defending these human spirits in this reservation. Mayhaps if these animal spirits would leave them alone I would have time…or if I fail somehow.”

An explosion jolts the three of you. The various haniwa running the workshop turn, draw their weapons, and leave.

“WE’RE UNDER AERIAL ATTACK. THIS IS NOT THE MECH GAME THAT’S GOING ON!” You hear Mayumi shout.

“They convinced another human to attack us?” Keiki groans, “I’ve burnt a lot of resources fighting that ‘Reimu’, give me a few minutes.”

Wait.

You can make a god jealous of you.

“No.” You say, causing Keiki to look at you in surprise. “I’ll handle this one, you get some rest, Lady Haniyasushin.”

“Uhh…me too!” Your oni associate volunteers, not quite knowing what’s going on but eagerness on her face. “Is it a fight? Do we get to fight?”

“Likely.” You grin. Looking around the workshop, you pick out some things that may help you deal with the incoming challenger…

[ ] Weaponize the Meaningless of Existence. Lead the challenger on a wild goose chase. After all, you’ve been given the role of villain the moment you were released into the system.

[ ] Invoke your Courage to Protect. Just beat the challenger down.

[ ] Pretend to be one who is Faithful and Trustworthy. Reimu mentioned she was tricked by a beast spirit right? Convince the challenger of exactly that.

[X] Weaponize the Meaningless of Existence. Lead the challenger on a wild goose chase. After all, you’ve been given the role of villain the moment you were released into the system.

“Keiki! This is very important! I need your spare clothes and some blue hair dye, right now!

Keiki immediately figures out what you’re up to, you can tell from the look on her face. But either out of exhaustion or out of resignment, she quietly slides open a closet with some outfits…and hands you a bucket of blue paint.

“Close enough!” You say as you put on her painter’s garb and dye your head in the blue haniwa paint. Mayumi stares at you while you do this.

“You don’t look like Master Haniyasushin at all!”

“At a distance, a vague resemblance is all that’s needed.” You reply, handing the haniwa your own clothes. “Keep these safe for me, please, I’m going to go stop an incident resolver.”

Taking off, you see streaks of colorful light blasting haniwa after haniwa out of the air. Cursing your lack of flying practice, you move as fast as possible towards the source. A particularly black-and-white source.

“Kirisame Marisa…”

Marisa’s eyes glow red. “Keiki Haniyasushin! Today is the day you will fall before the might of us beast spirits! I have brought a living human to best you, your defenses hold no sway here!”

“Try as you may, you will not best a goddess!” You shout back. Without even waiting for a response, you pull out your first spell card, “Grandpa Hanasaka, Jealousy of the Kind and Lovely!”

“Huh?” You hear the beast spirit inside Marisa say, before your large green bullet nails her with a direct hit. “That’s new!”

“Yeah! You think you’ve got me all figured out, don’t you, you little beastie! But this goddess has got many tricks up her sleeves!” You shout back as you sway around the air in a defensive flying pattern, hurling the large green bullets that spread petals of jealousy behind as they travel through the air. Marisa’s instincts dodge the ones after the first, but that’s okay, you’re not here for a standup fight.

“I think I’ve seen this pattern before.” You hear Marisa’s main self speak to the beast spirit possessing her.

“This wicked goddess is a goddess of sculpting! She experiments with things she steals from others! Just keep fighting!”

You dodge the flurry of lasers, which seems to be much easier for now after dicking around the battlefield in that Axman. Perhaps your situational awareness has gotten better? Or your peripheral vision has improved?

Speaking of vision, “Go, my haniwa double!” You say as you call up an illusory duplicate, a spell card fighting trick you picked up a long time ago. Swapping places with it a few times, you taunt Marisa by circling around her for a bit without fighting back.

“Haniwa clones? Interesting, but not clever enough! I’ll simply obliterate both of ya!” Marisa yells, “Love Sign: Master Spark!”

“Missed!” You call out from the other side, as the Spark strikes your duplicate and vaporizes away its existence in a wave of heat and power. “Green Eyed Monster, Jealousy Sign!”

Instead of having the spell card’s tracer track Marisa, however, you declare it backwards, and the tracer inverts its logic, trailing you instead after its initial wandering phase.

“Wait what? What sort of spell card…”

“Catch me if you can, foul beast spirit? Or will you go back to licking your privates in a cave like the filthy creature you are?”

“OH NOW YOU’VE DONE IT.” The possessed Marisa yells, revving up a second Master Spark and aiming it at you, pulling the trigger without waiting for it to fully charge. Thus, you do an awkward mid-air roll to get out of the way of the thin beam, but it still grazes your arm and stings.

“Fuck.” You dodge between the stalactites of New Hell as you make for a ceiling cave. You have no idea where it may lead, all you’re hoping for is to tire Marisa out. After all, even if she is more powerful than you in most capabilities, she is still a human, and tire easier.

But if so, why do you feel more and more exhausted as you weave through the tunnels, while Marisa doesn’t seem to be letting up at all?

“Curse…me…and my…NEET…lifestyle.” You cough, wheezing in air as you keep flying through the caves. Soon, you reach a place where light shines through an opening: a pit to the surface. You’re singed and bruised with the stray shots Marisa’s gotten through to you. Her pot lasers and swirling star danmaku are truly fearsome, and the chaff your spell card is leaving behind you is not enough.

No way are you losing a battle of endurance to a human. “Chat…is this really happening?” You ask. No answer. As while you have connection now, you have not had the opportunity to turn on the stream.

But you have one last trick up your sleeve. You retrieve a hammer and nail from your pouches as you radically reverse direction mid-air and cut the spell card. “Malice Sign: Shrine Visit in the Dead of Night!” You yell, spraying out a stream of red bullets at Marisa who brakes in surprise, and rushing forward with nail and hammer, ready to impale…

An otter spirit?

“Guh?” You watch as the spirit yelps and dissipates. Looking around, you see that a massive swarm of beast spirits have poured in from the surface hole…this was one of their ambush points. You try firing more bullets off, but the spirits simply absorb them with their numbers

“Ha ha! We are the strong ones now! Strength in numbers!” The beast spirit within Marisa gloats. “Land the finishing blow on this lonesome, wicked god…hold on.” She squints. “You don’t look like Haniyasushin at all! Who are you?”

“Who cares, clearly this is another troublemaker!” Marisa yells back at her own possessor. “Let’s finish this in one decisive blow! Last Word…”

You see Marisa hold up her mini-hakkero, distending it into its individual components, before affixing it to the back of her broom. Immense amounts of ambient energy begin draining into it, including some of the beast spirits unlucky enough to be too close.

“...Blazing Star.”

It’s over. You lost. You’ve heard of how destructive this spell is from Rinnosuke. It can flatten a whole acre of forest. There is not much to do but brace for the hit.

You cannot counter, you don’t have an answer. Even though this is just danmaku play-fighting. You’ve never had to draw upon attacks stronger than that was needed to dissuade humans and surface youkai from crossing the bridge.

After all, you’re not strong enough to beat those that want to cross.

You’re not strong enough to stand up even against these beast spirits.

You’re meaningless, you’re not even strong enough to keep…

…to keep…even one…

…person…

INVIDIA CORROSI EST: GIANT KILLER

“Again, who are you?” Either Marisa or the beast within her asks in the midst of her spell card cast. You do not answer. The black, corrosive ink dribbles out of you along with the blue paint in your hair, as you raise both hands into the air. You no longer control your movements. You never controlled your movements.

“Those underground see only the lantern lights, reflected upon the murky stony sky.”

Your hands contort into chains and claws, as you raise them up high. Your physical form ripples. Something forms from your mass of bullets and gunk spilling out of you. A massive blade, one which does not belong to you.

Don’t ask me why, I desperately wish to be included in one joyous night.

Yan’s blade slams down into the mass of beast spirits, spraying out tangles of beanstalks that skewer even more of them. They then bloom and fruit, shooting out exponential amounts of beans that saturate the area completely with danmaku. The blade shimmers, more immaterial than the one Yan summoned, but even a pale imitation of such a move is enough to wipe the floor with these pathetic beast spirits.

“You…AHHHHH!!” The beast spirit inside Marisa screams as it is overwhelmed by the sheer quantity of bullets in the air and is blown straight out of the human. Marisa, however, continues and careens forward with Blazing Star, smashing directly into the massive sword blade and shattering it, wherein the fragments dissipate into aether.

She then collides with you, sending you flying straight into a rock wall and cratering you against it. You pass out for a few seconds from the raw impact, before kind of just limply crumpling onto the ground.

You’re still conscious though, so you haven’t lost.

“Eh?” Marisa says, clutching her head, as she leaps off the broom, “I feel…weird. That beast spirit…and you are…”

“Ugh…I’m not Haniyasushin.” You take off the beret and reveal your pointed ears. “I’m Mizuhashi Parsee, you know, that ornery bridgekeeper.”

“Ah.” Marisa takes off her (massive) hat as well to smooth her hair. “Looks like I chased the wrong person instead of the mastermind. Whew. Then again, I don’t think that Yachie fellow was being entirely honest, come to think of it.”

“Who? But yes, this is a conflict between the animal spirits and her alone. None of it threatens Gensokyo and the beast spirits are just trying to conscript people into helping them.

“Working us for free. Bleh.” Marisa remarks sullenly. “Nice Last Word you pulled out by the way, very stylish.”

[ ] That’s not my Last Word, it’s someone else’s.
[ ] That’s only partially my Last Word, sort of.
[ ] (INVIDIA CORROSI EST) That is my Last Word, yes.